June 7, 2007
I am dating this blog because I simply have no clue what else to do. :)
I've had a lot happen in the last week. I don't have the energy to type it all out, but I will say that God has been AMAZINGLY faithful! He has answered prayers and prophecies that were spoken over my life. He's used situations and the Holy Spirit to stabilize my rollercoasterish life into something that brings me peace that I never thought I'd actually experience. It's just profound to me to actually have so many things stabilizing within and without. It makes me tear up because I never really thought 'this' would be possible. I thought I was destined to always be ruled by my emotions and have a perpetual negative thought life. I see how the enemy tried to use others and MYSELF to sabotage the very reason I was created. I feel so grateful that God protected me and drew me out of such deception.
I was given one of the most shocking and encouraging compliments this weekend. I had this really nice gentlemen from Roswell come up to me after one of the meetings to tell me that he and his daughter had been watching Jason and I (in a neat way, not freaky way) and how encouraging it was for them to see a couple in love with each other and seeking the will of the Lord - A GODLY COUPLE! (my paraphrase and caps, lol)
For those of you who know what we've been through you will know how HUGE that compliment is and was! If you had asked me just a year ago if that was possible I would have laughed in their face with bitterness and continued to sabotage the one thing I wanted.
Go God!
I'm coming to realize, once again, that God has put gifts in this world like faith, commitment, prophecy, teaching, miracles, signs and wonders, etc. They do exist and they can be done in order, balance, and by the leading of the Holy Spirit. I don't have to fear them or strive for them. They are available when the Lord makes it so. Faith - yes, it's available and I have to BELIEVE, but I also need to be okay with the fact that I can claim certain things for me life, but only after I know it's by the leading of the Lord - His will for my life. Just because I'm suffering doesn't mean it's the devil, it could be the Lord revealing certain aspects of my character that need refining. I have to be okay with having joy in the waiting no matter what I'm waiting for. Waiting teaches you so much.
That, and I have to listen far more then I speak.
I love and miss all of you!
I've had a lot happen in the last week. I don't have the energy to type it all out, but I will say that God has been AMAZINGLY faithful! He has answered prayers and prophecies that were spoken over my life. He's used situations and the Holy Spirit to stabilize my rollercoasterish life into something that brings me peace that I never thought I'd actually experience. It's just profound to me to actually have so many things stabilizing within and without. It makes me tear up because I never really thought 'this' would be possible. I thought I was destined to always be ruled by my emotions and have a perpetual negative thought life. I see how the enemy tried to use others and MYSELF to sabotage the very reason I was created. I feel so grateful that God protected me and drew me out of such deception.
I was given one of the most shocking and encouraging compliments this weekend. I had this really nice gentlemen from Roswell come up to me after one of the meetings to tell me that he and his daughter had been watching Jason and I (in a neat way, not freaky way) and how encouraging it was for them to see a couple in love with each other and seeking the will of the Lord - A GODLY COUPLE! (my paraphrase and caps, lol)
For those of you who know what we've been through you will know how HUGE that compliment is and was! If you had asked me just a year ago if that was possible I would have laughed in their face with bitterness and continued to sabotage the one thing I wanted.
Go God!
I'm coming to realize, once again, that God has put gifts in this world like faith, commitment, prophecy, teaching, miracles, signs and wonders, etc. They do exist and they can be done in order, balance, and by the leading of the Holy Spirit. I don't have to fear them or strive for them. They are available when the Lord makes it so. Faith - yes, it's available and I have to BELIEVE, but I also need to be okay with the fact that I can claim certain things for me life, but only after I know it's by the leading of the Lord - His will for my life. Just because I'm suffering doesn't mean it's the devil, it could be the Lord revealing certain aspects of my character that need refining. I have to be okay with having joy in the waiting no matter what I'm waiting for. Waiting teaches you so much.
That, and I have to listen far more then I speak.
I love and miss all of you!