(no subject)
i cant believe its only five now. i dont even want to say it, even though it was inevitable. i spent too long avoiding it and i wasted so much. i feel like a coward for denying myself and denying him, and because i dont even know what to do with myself; im completely useless to anyone. the women in my family are so much stronger than i could ever be. but now its here and its happened, and i just want some time to ponder and be and stew in my sadness. i feel that its necessary just to be able to let go. i dont want anyone to think of me on sunday. i want all this weight off my shoulders.
this has probably been the shittiest year. and i dont want to leave. im not ready to leave even more now. at least my priorities are so pristine now.
this has probably been the shittiest year. and i dont want to leave. im not ready to leave even more now. at least my priorities are so pristine now.