It sure is quiet around here lately.
You'd almost think that everyone was off doing something else- like madly novelling. Sigh.
I miss NaNo. I don't regret not doing it this year- just editing the photos from this first wedding has already sucked up about sixteen hours and is promising to take even more, because I fail at wedding photography and only Photoshop can help me now. I also want to try and make some money ChaChaing this week, on top of my mandatory school volunteer service coming knock knock knocking on the door. I don't think I would have been made of NaNo win this year. Besides that, I really was not enjoying the story I was working on. I wouldn't want that yucky feeling tainting the joy that NaNo brings me. Although that might be a losing battle anyway.
Most of the joy I ever got out of NaNo came from the people I did it with, the sense of friendship and community that extended throughout the year. Now it really seems like that part has died, for various reasons, and it makes me sad. I had a community of friends that I never felt awkward around, never kicked myself for saying something stupid around (Not that I never said something stupid; I think we all know better than that!), people I really had fun with- and on a regular basis.
For a long time I've been hoping that the group just needed a break and would fall back together as naturally as it fell apart, but it's looking more and more like that won't happen. I don't feel outraged or confused or rejected; I realize all friendships, all communities, have an expiration date, and that it may have been- and indeed, appears to have been- just time.
Still, I miss my friends.
I miss NaNo. I don't regret not doing it this year- just editing the photos from this first wedding has already sucked up about sixteen hours and is promising to take even more, because I fail at wedding photography and only Photoshop can help me now. I also want to try and make some money ChaChaing this week, on top of my mandatory school volunteer service coming knock knock knocking on the door. I don't think I would have been made of NaNo win this year. Besides that, I really was not enjoying the story I was working on. I wouldn't want that yucky feeling tainting the joy that NaNo brings me. Although that might be a losing battle anyway.
Most of the joy I ever got out of NaNo came from the people I did it with, the sense of friendship and community that extended throughout the year. Now it really seems like that part has died, for various reasons, and it makes me sad. I had a community of friends that I never felt awkward around, never kicked myself for saying something stupid around (Not that I never said something stupid; I think we all know better than that!), people I really had fun with- and on a regular basis.
For a long time I've been hoping that the group just needed a break and would fall back together as naturally as it fell apart, but it's looking more and more like that won't happen. I don't feel outraged or confused or rejected; I realize all friendships, all communities, have an expiration date, and that it may have been- and indeed, appears to have been- just time.
Still, I miss my friends.