(no subject)
Incredibly emo post. Do not read if you don't really care.
Things have not been good for me. For the past month, I have not been taking my meds. I know this is a common problem amongst bipolar sufferers, though it doesn't excuse it. I honestly felt fine for the beginning half of the month, but then things spiraled and I just kept not taking them. Which isn't smart, I know, but there you go.
Add to that the stress of a lie to protect my parents from certain things I haven't been doing to take care of myself, and the lie coming apart while I stood and watched, and I have been stressed out. Stress makes me shut down even more, to the point where I wasn't eating. Just crutching my way downstairs, choosing from my limited food options, and making said food was too much. I didn't leave my room for days.
So I had a mini breakdown the other day, and my dad talked me through a bowl of cereal, and now we're trying to unravel the mess I made, which is also stressing me out. But I have to function and do it, otherwise I'll be stuck like this forever. A good friend of mine is kind of watching over me and took me grocery shopping and has food for me at her house, and I can go over there and spend all day with her if I need to, to make sure I eat. Though I'm not sure I'll ask for help as often as I probably should.
I woke up almost two hours ago now, and I'm still not hungry. We'll see how this goes.
On the bright side, it's MCR on Sunday! (I was in such a funk I was actually considering not going for a while. That's how depressed I was.) One of my beloved band boys might be coming home for the weekend, and he'll go with me if he is. I'm awaiting his text. :)
Now, if only I had the money for merch. :-\
Things have not been good for me. For the past month, I have not been taking my meds. I know this is a common problem amongst bipolar sufferers, though it doesn't excuse it. I honestly felt fine for the beginning half of the month, but then things spiraled and I just kept not taking them. Which isn't smart, I know, but there you go.
Add to that the stress of a lie to protect my parents from certain things I haven't been doing to take care of myself, and the lie coming apart while I stood and watched, and I have been stressed out. Stress makes me shut down even more, to the point where I wasn't eating. Just crutching my way downstairs, choosing from my limited food options, and making said food was too much. I didn't leave my room for days.
So I had a mini breakdown the other day, and my dad talked me through a bowl of cereal, and now we're trying to unravel the mess I made, which is also stressing me out. But I have to function and do it, otherwise I'll be stuck like this forever. A good friend of mine is kind of watching over me and took me grocery shopping and has food for me at her house, and I can go over there and spend all day with her if I need to, to make sure I eat. Though I'm not sure I'll ask for help as often as I probably should.
I woke up almost two hours ago now, and I'm still not hungry. We'll see how this goes.
On the bright side, it's MCR on Sunday! (I was in such a funk I was actually considering not going for a while. That's how depressed I was.) One of my beloved band boys might be coming home for the weekend, and he'll go with me if he is. I'm awaiting his text. :)
Now, if only I had the money for merch. :-\