Reflections. go ahead and skip it... I don't care.
I started this journal in March 2002. I was a junior in high school. I thought so differently then... or maybe not. I just cared about different things. And my mood swings, my lord. One day this peepy thing that said "eep!" and purrrrred at people, and did a lot of *writing inbetween stars* and such... oh the *poke*ing that happened...
But actually its not March 2002 that interests me, its the next year, February 2003. The closest date to todays that I wrote on was, the 15? (I can't remember now...). I didn't write it, but I remember from comments I made, that I can just come home from my valentine's date with Dan. He had strapped a teddy bear holding a box of chocolates into the passanger seat of the car, and I found it when he came to pick me up. I carried that bear everywhere for a while.
But that night was the night before I left on my graduation present cruise. Grandma Thomas gave it to me, to the family actually. I don't remember packing for it, or the flight there really... I do remember I had to pee really bad but refused to use the plane bathroom, and the airport I remember decently well (though I will save you from reading a detailed description of an airport), and I remember seeing the cruise ship. And I remember the first night on the ship. God, leaning over the railing, staring into absolute darkness left me feeling so empty. The night just kept going, there was no horizon, and though you felt the boat move and the breeze, there was no way to gage the motion... some might call it peaceful, but, I don't know...
And here it is, 5 years later. I am living in Japan. I want to say "who'd have known?" but thats sorta what I wanted to do years ago. Teaching in Japan has always been there, one of the options I concidered my senior year, and what helped determine my university. Though saying "I'll live and teach in Japan when I grow up" is very different from actually being here. How did I know what it really meant.
I still can't get over I *purrrr*ed back then! I was so happy, so carefree :-)
But actually its not March 2002 that interests me, its the next year, February 2003. The closest date to todays that I wrote on was, the 15? (I can't remember now...). I didn't write it, but I remember from comments I made, that I can just come home from my valentine's date with Dan. He had strapped a teddy bear holding a box of chocolates into the passanger seat of the car, and I found it when he came to pick me up. I carried that bear everywhere for a while.
But that night was the night before I left on my graduation present cruise. Grandma Thomas gave it to me, to the family actually. I don't remember packing for it, or the flight there really... I do remember I had to pee really bad but refused to use the plane bathroom, and the airport I remember decently well (though I will save you from reading a detailed description of an airport), and I remember seeing the cruise ship. And I remember the first night on the ship. God, leaning over the railing, staring into absolute darkness left me feeling so empty. The night just kept going, there was no horizon, and though you felt the boat move and the breeze, there was no way to gage the motion... some might call it peaceful, but, I don't know...
And here it is, 5 years later. I am living in Japan. I want to say "who'd have known?" but thats sorta what I wanted to do years ago. Teaching in Japan has always been there, one of the options I concidered my senior year, and what helped determine my university. Though saying "I'll live and teach in Japan when I grow up" is very different from actually being here. How did I know what it really meant.
I still can't get over I *purrrr*ed back then! I was so happy, so carefree :-)