(no subject)
It's interesting to see what people will say when they have the opportunity to write to their future selves -- one, five, ten years forward. A lot of people send themselves reassuring messages. There are a surprising number who express their love for themselves, and far from being maudlin or absurd, it actually strikes me as touching.
Here are a few nuggets. If you want more, you wil need to go panning at www.futureme.org
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And, I guess all I have to say is that I love you. I know, it sounds strange. I don't know you yet, even though you are me, but, someone has to love you, even if it is the you from the past.
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Remember, when you were 14, you were hell random.
SO YOU BETTER BE LIKE THAT NOW!
So every now and then, I shall flood your inbox full of random things.
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u hv gf?
if not, gt a fckng bttr jb,
thrws, u bttr knw wht u r gng to do ltr.
intl lwr myb?
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I wish you could come visit me, take me by the hand, and tell me that everything is alright. I'm pretty much at rock bottom right now. I lost my job, I lost the love of my life, and I have this pain in my back that won't seem to go away. I've hit bottom enough that I'm writing to my future self on this stupid website. You can't get much worse than that. I read some other people's entries and they made me cry. I realize that I am not the only one suffering in the world. I hope things are better now. It is your birthday. Are you doing anything exciting? You better be.
I really don't love myself right now. I mean, how could I? I'm left with nothing. Hopefully this finds you doing much better than I am. Call your friends. I'm sure they miss you. Call Nancy, wherever she may be.
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i dont know how many times i have wriiten futureme letters to myself that are about sexuality and coming out, but i know its a lot.but i havent gotten any of them back yet. which i guess is a good thing because ihavent done anything and if i got all those hopeful and scared emails i would just feel like more of a coward than i already do.
i had a dream a week or two ago that i went back in time and i saw my self at the age of ten. and i thought maybe i would tell her that when she grows up she will realize that she likes girls and see what she said. but before i could even say anything, she knew what iwas going to say and she turned her back. she wouldnt talk to me and then she got angry and told me i was being a coward, that i just get myself all upset and then use that as an excuse not to act. i was totally dumbfounded, that i had been told off by my younger self
and i felt so ashamed..
so wherever you are when you get this, you etter have come out and moved on with your life and dont you dare come back to haunt me in my dreams. cause i am going to take charge
soon
love
catherine
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My husband made love to me last 2 nights ago. I felt like I was being raped. After he was done I wanted to kill myself. I sent my lover a note asking him how long must I endure my husband's unwanted touch. It's not like I can live in his house and spend his money and not be available to him as a wife.
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Anyway, Kate, you don't have much of a life, and this is a known fact. Mom is trying to make you call Amy, because she knows that you need to get out of the house, and when you do hang out with your friends, you come back feeling so happy and forgetting that there was ever a time when you didn’t want to see them. And it’s not that you don’t want to see them, you have nothing against them. You just don’t want to have to get dressed and drive somewhere and actually act sociable and hold up one end of a conversation, though you know in your heart of hearts that when you’re around your friends those things come naturally.
You’ve been depressed lately, Kate, but it’s a depression that manifests itself in bitter resentment towards every living creature and violent tendencies towards random inanimate objects. Jeff killed himself a little over a week ago, and you’ve hardly thought about it, and certainly haven’t talked about it since. It was hard just to write that previous sentence, even though you know you’re going to be the only one ever reading it. But anyway, you don’t know what to do about this whole situation, so you’ve just bottled it up inside of you and concentrated instead on other things. This isn’t good, but you don’t know what else to do.
Here are a few nuggets. If you want more, you wil need to go panning at www.futureme.org
----------------------------------------------------
And, I guess all I have to say is that I love you. I know, it sounds strange. I don't know you yet, even though you are me, but, someone has to love you, even if it is the you from the past.
----------------------------------------------------
Remember, when you were 14, you were hell random.
SO YOU BETTER BE LIKE THAT NOW!
So every now and then, I shall flood your inbox full of random things.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
u hv gf?
if not, gt a fckng bttr jb,
thrws, u bttr knw wht u r gng to do ltr.
intl lwr myb?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish you could come visit me, take me by the hand, and tell me that everything is alright. I'm pretty much at rock bottom right now. I lost my job, I lost the love of my life, and I have this pain in my back that won't seem to go away. I've hit bottom enough that I'm writing to my future self on this stupid website. You can't get much worse than that. I read some other people's entries and they made me cry. I realize that I am not the only one suffering in the world. I hope things are better now. It is your birthday. Are you doing anything exciting? You better be.
I really don't love myself right now. I mean, how could I? I'm left with nothing. Hopefully this finds you doing much better than I am. Call your friends. I'm sure they miss you. Call Nancy, wherever she may be.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
i dont know how many times i have wriiten futureme letters to myself that are about sexuality and coming out, but i know its a lot.but i havent gotten any of them back yet. which i guess is a good thing because ihavent done anything and if i got all those hopeful and scared emails i would just feel like more of a coward than i already do.
i had a dream a week or two ago that i went back in time and i saw my self at the age of ten. and i thought maybe i would tell her that when she grows up she will realize that she likes girls and see what she said. but before i could even say anything, she knew what iwas going to say and she turned her back. she wouldnt talk to me and then she got angry and told me i was being a coward, that i just get myself all upset and then use that as an excuse not to act. i was totally dumbfounded, that i had been told off by my younger self
and i felt so ashamed..
so wherever you are when you get this, you etter have come out and moved on with your life and dont you dare come back to haunt me in my dreams. cause i am going to take charge
soon
love
catherine
------------------------------------------------------------------
My husband made love to me last 2 nights ago. I felt like I was being raped. After he was done I wanted to kill myself. I sent my lover a note asking him how long must I endure my husband's unwanted touch. It's not like I can live in his house and spend his money and not be available to him as a wife.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyway, Kate, you don't have much of a life, and this is a known fact. Mom is trying to make you call Amy, because she knows that you need to get out of the house, and when you do hang out with your friends, you come back feeling so happy and forgetting that there was ever a time when you didn’t want to see them. And it’s not that you don’t want to see them, you have nothing against them. You just don’t want to have to get dressed and drive somewhere and actually act sociable and hold up one end of a conversation, though you know in your heart of hearts that when you’re around your friends those things come naturally.
You’ve been depressed lately, Kate, but it’s a depression that manifests itself in bitter resentment towards every living creature and violent tendencies towards random inanimate objects. Jeff killed himself a little over a week ago, and you’ve hardly thought about it, and certainly haven’t talked about it since. It was hard just to write that previous sentence, even though you know you’re going to be the only one ever reading it. But anyway, you don’t know what to do about this whole situation, so you’ve just bottled it up inside of you and concentrated instead on other things. This isn’t good, but you don’t know what else to do.