Smooth as the Rocky Appalachians...
There was but a glimmer of hope, but I mucked it up yet again in typical manner.
Went to that university again last night, for a buffet or some sort. Was supposed to follow up on some teeny weeny flicker of interest I'd had in a few of them there and then. Which was the reason I'd gone, really. Well, food was good and all that, but you know...
For some reason, it has eluded me thus far, and for the forseeable future will continue to. I never felt so strongly about companionship before I came, and for some reason my mind keeps fucking me up. I was always the one who believed that we must rid ourselves of any interests, so as to not do stupid things beyond human logic and comprehension...
But I never cease to amaze myself, and I came. Must be the foreign country factor.
...And somehow dropped my balls along the way. For I saw her and her, but didn't make a sound. Didn't talk to them. I was like this squeaky little mouse leaning against this wall as the overcrowded party got going. I never did get going, on the other hand. I hardly said a word, didn't even try to show that I was present. I think she might have seen me, but then again thought I was proud or something. I'm about as smooth as the Rocky Appalachians...
They hit the dance floor Malaysian style. I was aghast. For now only did I realise how sad we danced compared to people here in the UK. They dance as follows:
1. Make a circle. 2. Make minimal movement sideways. 3. Have someone go into the middle and dance like a frog in a blender. 4. Laugh and cheer. 5. Repeat process 1 to 4.
Oh and of course, dance to the crap music of Jamelia and Justin, played repeatedly I might add.
I could've hit the dance floor and busted a move or two, it would have sucked but still be better than the mosh pit style crap. But fuck that. Neils and I went to a real pub with real dancing instead, and I danced there till about midnight. Unbecoming. So very unbecoming. I remember as I was walking back home with him, a feeling descended on me. It was like I knew I'd be alone for some time to come. I'd blown it yet again.
My friend once commented rather playfully that 100% of my friends are guys. What the fuck, I told him.
I went home, did some statistics and found out he was WRONG. It was more like 95%. What the fuck, I say now. I gotsa get me some life.
Oh, but despite all that, my mood's been rather good! Oh, so happy, happy!
Went to that university again last night, for a buffet or some sort. Was supposed to follow up on some teeny weeny flicker of interest I'd had in a few of them there and then. Which was the reason I'd gone, really. Well, food was good and all that, but you know...
For some reason, it has eluded me thus far, and for the forseeable future will continue to. I never felt so strongly about companionship before I came, and for some reason my mind keeps fucking me up. I was always the one who believed that we must rid ourselves of any interests, so as to not do stupid things beyond human logic and comprehension...
But I never cease to amaze myself, and I came. Must be the foreign country factor.
...And somehow dropped my balls along the way. For I saw her and her, but didn't make a sound. Didn't talk to them. I was like this squeaky little mouse leaning against this wall as the overcrowded party got going. I never did get going, on the other hand. I hardly said a word, didn't even try to show that I was present. I think she might have seen me, but then again thought I was proud or something. I'm about as smooth as the Rocky Appalachians...
They hit the dance floor Malaysian style. I was aghast. For now only did I realise how sad we danced compared to people here in the UK. They dance as follows:
1. Make a circle. 2. Make minimal movement sideways. 3. Have someone go into the middle and dance like a frog in a blender. 4. Laugh and cheer. 5. Repeat process 1 to 4.
Oh and of course, dance to the crap music of Jamelia and Justin, played repeatedly I might add.
I could've hit the dance floor and busted a move or two, it would have sucked but still be better than the mosh pit style crap. But fuck that. Neils and I went to a real pub with real dancing instead, and I danced there till about midnight. Unbecoming. So very unbecoming. I remember as I was walking back home with him, a feeling descended on me. It was like I knew I'd be alone for some time to come. I'd blown it yet again.
My friend once commented rather playfully that 100% of my friends are guys. What the fuck, I told him.
I went home, did some statistics and found out he was WRONG. It was more like 95%. What the fuck, I say now. I gotsa get me some life.
Oh, but despite all that, my mood's been rather good! Oh, so happy, happy!