(no subject)
I just had to share some more with you guys.
All Dave Barry.
Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."
Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.
Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M and M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
The members took turns lighting sparklers and signing their John Hancocks to the Declaration, with one prankster even going so far as to actually write John Hancock.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
I got a big kick out of these. I hope you all enjoy them.
All Dave Barry.
Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."
Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.
Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M and M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
The members took turns lighting sparklers and signing their John Hancocks to the Declaration, with one prankster even going so far as to actually write John Hancock.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
I got a big kick out of these. I hope you all enjoy them.