(no subject)
There's a certain irony in music being my passion and wanting to make music. I suspect something's . . . I wouldn't say wrong . . . More like . . . odd about my hearing.
And I can't believe it took me this long to notice. Then again, I've ignored other things.
The awareness came a month ago with an earache one night that was so painful I just turned from side to side in bed, trying to balance the pain in my ears, and couldn't fall asleep.
It reminded me of earaches I used to have when I was young, about 7 or so. They were awful, and I recall the sensation of drops going into my ear to treat the pain. Nothing helped though. The earaches would disappear as mysteriously as they'd appear.
I forgot about them soon after.
Then in my teens they returned-only at that time I didn't realize the source of the pain was from my ear. I thought I was just getting bad headaches.
Since then, they've appeared and disappeared in the same way when I was young. Only they've been getting more frequent since last year.
What finally made the connection that my ear was the source of the pain were my niece's words some time last year. I'd visited my sister for the holidays, and one of the earaches had hit me while there. I was listening to my iPod at the time, in my niece's room, and my niece shouted, "Uncle Deryck, your music is so loud!!"
That made me pause for two reasons: 1) She wasn't supposed to hear what I was hearing and 2) It never occurred to me till then that the volume I listen at, and have always listened at since I was a kid, was considered loud to someone else.
Her words recalled a post I made here years ago. I had begun to use my iPod and was using the default iPod earphones then, and I noticed they were useless on the train. The volume bar would be practically all the way up, yet I would still hear people's conversations and the noise from outside the train as it sped through the tunnels and the metallic sounds of the wheels beneath me. I call all of it white noise.
Eventually I realized the reason people kept giving me looks and moving away was 'cause I was one of those obnoxious people that forces everyone to listen to their music.
I didn't want to be one of those people. So I got new noise-cancelling earphones, with earbuds to block outside noise and to prevent my music from being heard to anyone else. That's why my niece's words startled me.
The words also made me realize that even though I have powerful new earphones, I still have to turn the volume bar past the halfway mark of the circle in order to block background noise. If I don't, the music sounds distant and far away to me, and I still hear outside noises loudly and clearly.
The new earphones worked great, but when I got the earaches I noticed I'd get those mystified/annoyed looks from people again.
I came home one day a month or so ago, and that's when I finally figured out why. I stuck my pinky in my ears, first left because that's where the pain always seems to come from, then right. The right felt normal, but something seemed off with the left.
So I began to test.
Whenever the ache hit and I'd get those looks on the train, I'd come home and feel the inside of my ear. I always got the same sensation: right normal, left not.
And now I know what it is and why people on the train are hearing my music when they shouldn't. Dunno how to describe it, other than my left ear canal feels closed. My finger feels like it's hitting a wall in there, which doesn't happen with my right ear. Since the earbud has no room to go in, it stays loosely in my ear-I even feel that sensation while it happens.
When the ache hits, something else happens at the same time. A heaviness sets over my eyes, especially the left, giving me the appearance of being sleepy. I was with friends last Dec. and had an episode, and one asked, looking at my face, "Are you OK?" So apparently the ache is even visible to others.
And now I know what that's about too. I looked at myself in the mirror one day when I felt the ache and that heaviness over my eyes. Even I was scared by what I saw. It's like the pupil of my eyes almost completely covers the iris, giving my eyes a vacant look. Practically all that's there is blackness. I know about pupils expanding due to light; I watched a video on the subject and saw the increase in size. Mine expands more than that, and light has no effect because I also shined a flashlight over my eyes while looking at the mirror. The blackness remained the same all day.
I can handle the pain in my ear. I've experienced it so often it doesn't faze me anymore, that it's become a part of me.
I can handle the heaviness and sleepiness. So my focus and concentration suffer. So what.
I can even handle the mood swings it brings. At least in public-and that's what counts, right? (actually, no, my way of handling it is to avoid people altogether-there's gotta be a better way)
What I can't handle is the disconnect to that part of my brain that makes the music I like so much more pleasurable than it is to other people. How can it when something's blocking my ear canal, preventing sound from reaching its destination.
I can't listen to music as a result. Well, I can, but since it doesn't sound the same-empty and more distant and far away-I choose not to 'cause it depresses me. Yet the loud volume of background noise when I'm out in the world stays the same! It makes no sense.
Lately I haven't listened to my iPod in public much. I'd be anxious/self-conscious, wondering if people around me could hear. I don't want to offend someone with the volume I need to hear with clarity.
I thought about the past times on the train some more, which led me to more memories where the same thing happens, where I have trouble separating sound, and I realized-it's always been like that, each and every day of my life.
I went to a club with friends recently and at first I was miserable. The moment I stepped inside, it was as if every sound (loud background music) and every conversation from every corner of the room assaulted every part of my mind. It's chaos. The same thing happens whenever I go to other places with similar situations, which is why I dislike the bar/club/lounge scene, which doesn't help my social life. And then I had a drink or two, and the chaos of noise went away, which also makes no sense.
I remember being dragged to parties/functions I didn't want to go to as a kid and being miserable there too. Now I know the reason even though I couldn't articulate it then.
Some years ago my sister's friend invited the fam to some party. While there the friend's husband was talking to me, so I responded as best as I could, being distracted by the assault of sound.
The next day, or some days after (i forget when exactly), my sister asked, "Why were you shouting at ____??" I distinctly remember this question because it always mystified me, and now it's making sense.
The reason, of course, is I couldn't hear my own voice, so I assumed no one else could either. I used a voice I could hear, which apparently sounds like yelling to someone else. I've never been able to figure out how, say at a club, two people talking near me can hear each other when all I see are their mouths moving with no sound emanating. Yet they're having a conversation!
Ironically (and there're too many ironies in my life), what I hate about being out in the world is the very reason why I like the music I like. Because now I know why, when before I was like those kids in the Apple Jacks commercial: "I just do."
It brings to mind a very early memory of Thomas. '99? '00? We were talking about the reasons why we liked the trance genre and about Ferry and William Orbit, and I said I didn't care for Ferry's remix of Adagio For Strings. And Thomas replied (and i remember this distinctly because it always makes me smile), "How can you like classical music and not like the remix??" since he liked the remix.
I had no clear answer then, but now I do. Form means nothing to me. Honestly, most classical music bores me. Barber's original composition of Adagio For Strings bores me, so my disinterest in remixes of it is no surprise. (as an aside i do like Ferry's remix of Ravel's Pavane Pour une Infante Defunte though)
What matters to my mind are specific chord progressions and the sequences and patterns they make. It feeds off of them, you could say. That was my original reason for liking the genre: the arrangements.
But that's only part of the reason. The major one, and the one I alluded to above, is being able to hear every individual element of a song simultaneously. Practically every song in my collection has countermelodies. That's why I love the trance and, by extension, hands up genres. (imo hands up evolved from trance. similar structure, similar impact on the mind. just more danceable than trance) They're the only genres I know of that use countermelodies. That's also why I haven't actively sought out other genres in recent years; anything else just sounds flat in comparison with its one layer of sound.
Hearing two independent melodies at the same time is the greatest thing in the world, especially when they perfectly complement each other (like in Blue On Blue). That's partly why I consider Marino Stephano's Eternal Rhapsody (Extended Mix) one of the greatest songs of the '90s and, to me, one of the all-time greatest songs ever.
Because Marino does something in it I've never heard in any other song, and I've heard well over 100,000 songs in the EDM arena since age 12. And the greatness isn't conferred upon him by me simply because he uses a unique technique. It's how he does it: deliberately.
I remember the first time I listened to it I was jolted by something, and I hit the replay button. Indeed, my mind wasn't playing tricks on me. In the first half of the arrangement the main melody is introduced in the right ear, the right side of my brain, and the countermelody shortly enters and plays in the left ear, the left side of my brain. That alone enthralled me because 1) he separated the sounds for me, leaving no work on my part (and i'll explain why this is significant shortly) and 2) hearing those melodies converge in my mind is incredible.
But what the song does next surprised me 'cause, naturally, I thought he would repeat the first half in the second half, which is what early trance songs did. (i don't know about today's-today referring to after 2004-"trance," which should really be given another name since most of those songs fail to do what the genre originally did: take you to another state of mind. but i digress). Instead, he reverses it; the countermelody becomes the main melody, entering from the left while the main melody becomes the countermelody, shortly entering from the right. And I realize that prob' sounds boring here, in words, but hearing it-hearing it the way I do, especially-is indescribable.
A song with perfect symmetry! It really is a work of art.
To me it sets a benchmark in creativity. I only hope I make something half as good someday. Because how does someone top that.
I can imagine what Marino would be making with the new technology available in today's time if he hadn't died. The fact that he even conceived the idea-let alone pulled it off so well-is indicative of a gifted mind.
Now what I meant by "no work" up there refers to the relationship between and placement of countermelodies. I perceive trance and hands up as having layers of sound. One layer is often dominant, being stronger and louder than the other. Commonly, the main melody (bottom) becomes subordinate to the countermelody (top). Take two of my fave songs for instance: Beam vs. Cyrus' All Over The World (Midnight Mix) and the song it influenced, Max Deejay feat. Faith's Boys Of Summer (Sample Junky's All Over The World Mix).
A more challenging example is Alex Megane's Little Lies (DJ Perfection Remix), where the main melody becomes so faint a person might not notice it, but there it is, at a fast bpm under the countermelody. Man I love that. It's almost as if it's between the countermelody, weaving in and out, similar to the setup in Giorno's Pretending Happiness (dBrotherz Remix). This dBrotherz Remix is also special for another reason: it incorporates both of the reasons why I love the trance and hands up genres. In the first half of the arrangement the main melody's chord progression changes; then in the second half both chord progressions change. A very cool moment is in this half, where the main melody ascends so high, sounding triumphant (over the countermelody, no less!)
Less common (to me anyway) are songs where the countermelody is subordinate to the main melody. Yet they're just as good. Two that immediately come to mind are Skydiver's Liberation Day (DJ Genetic Remix) and Deepstahl's Steam (Trance Version).
Then some songs get more complex, and that's where work comes in. By work I mean finding the elements of these songs is harder, and those elements are positioned differently:
My fave moment in All Over The World is in the second half of the arrangement where a second countermelody becomes subordinate to the first countermelody before it stands alone. A total tease on Beam & Cyrus' part since I like that chord progression and it appears so briefly. Three melodies side-by-side. Nothing better.
Same deal with Boys Of Summer, only Sample Junky is kinder, introducing the second countermelody early (though one could perceive that as a tease lol) and using it again in the second half of the arrangement.
And for awesomeness to the extreme, four melodies side-by-side: The Pirates' Unchained Melody (Lucab Alternative Edit). (sadly this remix seems to be like Hypertrophy's Eternal Flames (Melodica Mystica Short Mix) where no "long" version actually exists)
After the main melody enters, the soprano-like vocal (which i also consider a melody since i often listen to a song with vocals to hear the sound of the vocals alone, without registering the sung words in my mind. i.e. Beat Control's No Gravity (Gravity Extended Mix)-btw if someone knows the language she sings lemme know) becomes subordinate to it, and below that, almost nonexistent, is the violin, which never disappears. I suppose the average person can hear it in the moments where it shines through; I hear it the whole time.
The cleverness of this version is a second countermelody appears, almost equal to the main melody; the counterpoint is so smooth that one might think the main melody's chord progression simply changes. Instead of top and bottom, to me this is a case where the main melody is pushing forward, always in the same direction, with the countermelody pushing back, from the opposite direction.
Clearly, there's more to these genres than just "untz untz boom tiss." And clearly, I need someone in my life on my level to put me in my place (whaddya know, i can still laugh to myself). Because being the only person in the United States, it seems, who cares this much for them and hears sound in this way is frickin' lonely.
History says Beethoven had an arrogant streak. Of course he did. That's what happens when no one's around to challenge you at your own game. (i'm not making the parallel that i have an arrogant streak-well, maybe i do but only when alone . . . there goes that laugh again)
I don't mean to imply that I dislike sharing what I know, music-wise. Quite the opposite. I enjoy spreading knowledge of what I like; I wish everyone in the world knew and enjoyed it the way I do. But the point I'm making is something Christina alluded to a few years ago. She told me how someone, a poet she knows, keeps her on her toes re. her own poetry. And I gotta wonder if everyone in the world values and craves that kind of relationship, or whether only those of us who are into the arts wants that. That being a person who can teach me something I don't know and, more important, teach me something I want to know. Impossible, I know. A person would have to be a mind reader to know what I want to know. I don't even know what I want to know, only that I'll know it when I hear it. :P
Speaking of Beethoven, I have several things in common with him, if history's accurate. Makes me wonder what those dead classical musicians would think of the trance and hands up genres. Would their minds set on fire, like mine, hearing D-Tune vs. EMD Boyz's Bring The Bass Back (Original Mix) or Indietro's Il Destino (Libertia Remix). Would they be as captivated as I am by the arrangements of Not Complete DJ's Destination or Beam's Odin (Original Vocal Exodus). And would they be filled with emotion, moved to joyful tears, like me, by the magnificence of Pedro Del Mar with Ciro Visone & Sara Pollino's Sunset At Luminosity Beach (Original Mix), especially when the main melody seeps in and begins building up or when hearing the drum roll.
BTBB is esp notable because even I can't follow the chord progression. That makes the song frustrating but also a lot of fun to count. The intro melody is easy enough with 13 notes, followed by another 15, then 13, then 15 again. Then I can't keep up. Damn staccato notes.
I was telling tobiasaf about a certain incident recently. I'd gone out for New Year's to a lounge with friends, and on the way we purchased those small, cheap bottles of liquor from a local liquor store. Someone recommended three to me, but I'm a lightweight drinker and only drank one, a Ukrainian vodka, while in the lounge. I began to dance and next thing I know (though it was actually hours later; i have no recollection of the time in between), I was being dragged outside by friends, still dancing. This event was recounted by them in the following: "You danced the fuck outta there!" A woman came outside at one point, and asked (more like demanded), "Is he on ecstasy??" And I replied, "No! I just like music" while my friends laughed and replied, "No! He just had one drink." And she replied, "No! I've seen people on ecstasy and he's on ecstasy!"
In retrospect, hilarious. I mention it at all 'cause I think if I'd heard BTBB while "high," I'd finally have kept count with the chord progression. Christina never wants me to dance again. We shall see.
Another fun, yet simpler song to count is Caramell's Caramelldansen (Dan-J g0ez Jump! Mix). Awesome bass sequence. In the first section the bass vibrates 4 times, followed by 12 measures of "silence" (though the song's never really silent; i just count to myself). And the pattern continues: 4, 12, 4, 12, 4, 12, 8, 9, 7, 9
And main section (my fave): 4, 12, 4, 13, 3, 12, 4, 13, 3, 12, 4, 12
Last section: 8, 8, 8, 8
Man I love music. And I loved making this post. But I haven't forgotten the more pressing matter in the beginning of it. I know I should get my ears checked. Haven't found the time yet.
Part of me is afraid, too, at the possibility of my worst fear coming true.
I foresee three scenarios, and all of them are lose/lose/lose for me:
1) Something's wrong with my ear that can be fixed, and if "fixed" I could end up hearing like everyone else. And would it be so bad to hear like everyone else? Yes. Yes, it would.
2) Something's wrong with my ear that can't be fixed.
and 3) Nothing's wrong with my ear, what's happening has no explanation, and it's something I'll have to live with and learn to control for the rest of my life.
I have a strong feeling it's 3, but who knows. I say this 'cause it's not always like that. I get restful sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and my eyes look normal in the morning. Usually as the day progresses is when the pressure starts building in my ear and over my eyes.
* Addendum: Y'know, I could handle it if the disconnect was to my right ear. My right ear's useless compared to my left; my left is what makes sound so pleasurable. Take OceanLab's Sky Falls Down (OceanLab AM Mix), for instance. Yes, I fell out of love with AvB's version; don't care for the arrangement anymore. The aerial and oceanic sounds of OceanLab's version suits the song more imo.
Anyway, here is the vinyl rip from 2002. I'm always looking to update my vinyl rips with digital quality mp3s, either CD or WEB. However, I got an unpleasant surprise when I found this digital re-release: here is the updated OceanLab AM Mix. The concentration of sound in the WEB version is in the right ear. To me the vinyl rip sounds better and fuller 'cause sound is concentrated in the left.
The same situation applies to A.I.D.A's Remember Me: to me the Trancemaster version sounds better and fuller 'cause sound is concentrated in the left, whereas the CD-Single version sounds empty 'cause sound is concentrated in the right. *
In the meantime, I feel surprisingly good. I'm not near accepting one part of myself yet, but I think the guilt and shame are fading, which is the first step I guess.
Why make a post like this? A co-worker and I were talking about reputations recently, and it made me realize I've got to get over this. This being the need to be this anonymous individual, void of sense and self-expression. Otherwise I'll become Vincent de Moor basically. And I don't mean that negatively-i.e. "sucks to be him"-'cause having VdM's talent would be a fine thing indeed. I'm merely referring to his extreme privacy.
I heard "You're so boring" a lot growing up.
No, I just didn't want to admit to anyone, "That's my life. That's who I am."
Because the times I did try to share my interests, no one cared or people made fun of me. After a while it was easier to say nothing. So now, it's like I wonder how anyone could be interested in me and I'm always surprised when someone is.
And the other major reason to keep quiet was: what would be the context of the conversation? "Hey ______, so tell me some crazy shit about yourself!" Riiight. 'cause people just say those words all the time in everyday conversation.
It's becoming easier to talk to people-even those I don't know well, like my co-worker-about things that actually matter to me. And I have great, substantive conversations with another co-worker, who I actually told parts of my life to. Maybe I'll tell him the rest someday too. Not to mention I had a long conversation about my music interests to him. Verbalizing this stuff will take getting used to. It was weird (but good) saying artist names I've only ever said in my head.
And I can't believe it took me this long to notice. Then again, I've ignored other things.
The awareness came a month ago with an earache one night that was so painful I just turned from side to side in bed, trying to balance the pain in my ears, and couldn't fall asleep.
It reminded me of earaches I used to have when I was young, about 7 or so. They were awful, and I recall the sensation of drops going into my ear to treat the pain. Nothing helped though. The earaches would disappear as mysteriously as they'd appear.
I forgot about them soon after.
Then in my teens they returned-only at that time I didn't realize the source of the pain was from my ear. I thought I was just getting bad headaches.
Since then, they've appeared and disappeared in the same way when I was young. Only they've been getting more frequent since last year.
What finally made the connection that my ear was the source of the pain were my niece's words some time last year. I'd visited my sister for the holidays, and one of the earaches had hit me while there. I was listening to my iPod at the time, in my niece's room, and my niece shouted, "Uncle Deryck, your music is so loud!!"
That made me pause for two reasons: 1) She wasn't supposed to hear what I was hearing and 2) It never occurred to me till then that the volume I listen at, and have always listened at since I was a kid, was considered loud to someone else.
Her words recalled a post I made here years ago. I had begun to use my iPod and was using the default iPod earphones then, and I noticed they were useless on the train. The volume bar would be practically all the way up, yet I would still hear people's conversations and the noise from outside the train as it sped through the tunnels and the metallic sounds of the wheels beneath me. I call all of it white noise.
Eventually I realized the reason people kept giving me looks and moving away was 'cause I was one of those obnoxious people that forces everyone to listen to their music.
I didn't want to be one of those people. So I got new noise-cancelling earphones, with earbuds to block outside noise and to prevent my music from being heard to anyone else. That's why my niece's words startled me.
The words also made me realize that even though I have powerful new earphones, I still have to turn the volume bar past the halfway mark of the circle in order to block background noise. If I don't, the music sounds distant and far away to me, and I still hear outside noises loudly and clearly.
The new earphones worked great, but when I got the earaches I noticed I'd get those mystified/annoyed looks from people again.
I came home one day a month or so ago, and that's when I finally figured out why. I stuck my pinky in my ears, first left because that's where the pain always seems to come from, then right. The right felt normal, but something seemed off with the left.
So I began to test.
Whenever the ache hit and I'd get those looks on the train, I'd come home and feel the inside of my ear. I always got the same sensation: right normal, left not.
And now I know what it is and why people on the train are hearing my music when they shouldn't. Dunno how to describe it, other than my left ear canal feels closed. My finger feels like it's hitting a wall in there, which doesn't happen with my right ear. Since the earbud has no room to go in, it stays loosely in my ear-I even feel that sensation while it happens.
When the ache hits, something else happens at the same time. A heaviness sets over my eyes, especially the left, giving me the appearance of being sleepy. I was with friends last Dec. and had an episode, and one asked, looking at my face, "Are you OK?" So apparently the ache is even visible to others.
And now I know what that's about too. I looked at myself in the mirror one day when I felt the ache and that heaviness over my eyes. Even I was scared by what I saw. It's like the pupil of my eyes almost completely covers the iris, giving my eyes a vacant look. Practically all that's there is blackness. I know about pupils expanding due to light; I watched a video on the subject and saw the increase in size. Mine expands more than that, and light has no effect because I also shined a flashlight over my eyes while looking at the mirror. The blackness remained the same all day.
I can handle the pain in my ear. I've experienced it so often it doesn't faze me anymore, that it's become a part of me.
I can handle the heaviness and sleepiness. So my focus and concentration suffer. So what.
I can even handle the mood swings it brings. At least in public-and that's what counts, right? (actually, no, my way of handling it is to avoid people altogether-there's gotta be a better way)
What I can't handle is the disconnect to that part of my brain that makes the music I like so much more pleasurable than it is to other people. How can it when something's blocking my ear canal, preventing sound from reaching its destination.
I can't listen to music as a result. Well, I can, but since it doesn't sound the same-empty and more distant and far away-I choose not to 'cause it depresses me. Yet the loud volume of background noise when I'm out in the world stays the same! It makes no sense.
Lately I haven't listened to my iPod in public much. I'd be anxious/self-conscious, wondering if people around me could hear. I don't want to offend someone with the volume I need to hear with clarity.
I thought about the past times on the train some more, which led me to more memories where the same thing happens, where I have trouble separating sound, and I realized-it's always been like that, each and every day of my life.
I went to a club with friends recently and at first I was miserable. The moment I stepped inside, it was as if every sound (loud background music) and every conversation from every corner of the room assaulted every part of my mind. It's chaos. The same thing happens whenever I go to other places with similar situations, which is why I dislike the bar/club/lounge scene, which doesn't help my social life. And then I had a drink or two, and the chaos of noise went away, which also makes no sense.
I remember being dragged to parties/functions I didn't want to go to as a kid and being miserable there too. Now I know the reason even though I couldn't articulate it then.
Some years ago my sister's friend invited the fam to some party. While there the friend's husband was talking to me, so I responded as best as I could, being distracted by the assault of sound.
The next day, or some days after (i forget when exactly), my sister asked, "Why were you shouting at ____??" I distinctly remember this question because it always mystified me, and now it's making sense.
The reason, of course, is I couldn't hear my own voice, so I assumed no one else could either. I used a voice I could hear, which apparently sounds like yelling to someone else. I've never been able to figure out how, say at a club, two people talking near me can hear each other when all I see are their mouths moving with no sound emanating. Yet they're having a conversation!
Ironically (and there're too many ironies in my life), what I hate about being out in the world is the very reason why I like the music I like. Because now I know why, when before I was like those kids in the Apple Jacks commercial: "I just do."
It brings to mind a very early memory of Thomas. '99? '00? We were talking about the reasons why we liked the trance genre and about Ferry and William Orbit, and I said I didn't care for Ferry's remix of Adagio For Strings. And Thomas replied (and i remember this distinctly because it always makes me smile), "How can you like classical music and not like the remix??" since he liked the remix.
I had no clear answer then, but now I do. Form means nothing to me. Honestly, most classical music bores me. Barber's original composition of Adagio For Strings bores me, so my disinterest in remixes of it is no surprise. (as an aside i do like Ferry's remix of Ravel's Pavane Pour une Infante Defunte though)
What matters to my mind are specific chord progressions and the sequences and patterns they make. It feeds off of them, you could say. That was my original reason for liking the genre: the arrangements.
But that's only part of the reason. The major one, and the one I alluded to above, is being able to hear every individual element of a song simultaneously. Practically every song in my collection has countermelodies. That's why I love the trance and, by extension, hands up genres. (imo hands up evolved from trance. similar structure, similar impact on the mind. just more danceable than trance) They're the only genres I know of that use countermelodies. That's also why I haven't actively sought out other genres in recent years; anything else just sounds flat in comparison with its one layer of sound.
Hearing two independent melodies at the same time is the greatest thing in the world, especially when they perfectly complement each other (like in Blue On Blue). That's partly why I consider Marino Stephano's Eternal Rhapsody (Extended Mix) one of the greatest songs of the '90s and, to me, one of the all-time greatest songs ever.
Because Marino does something in it I've never heard in any other song, and I've heard well over 100,000 songs in the EDM arena since age 12. And the greatness isn't conferred upon him by me simply because he uses a unique technique. It's how he does it: deliberately.
I remember the first time I listened to it I was jolted by something, and I hit the replay button. Indeed, my mind wasn't playing tricks on me. In the first half of the arrangement the main melody is introduced in the right ear, the right side of my brain, and the countermelody shortly enters and plays in the left ear, the left side of my brain. That alone enthralled me because 1) he separated the sounds for me, leaving no work on my part (and i'll explain why this is significant shortly) and 2) hearing those melodies converge in my mind is incredible.
But what the song does next surprised me 'cause, naturally, I thought he would repeat the first half in the second half, which is what early trance songs did. (i don't know about today's-today referring to after 2004-"trance," which should really be given another name since most of those songs fail to do what the genre originally did: take you to another state of mind. but i digress). Instead, he reverses it; the countermelody becomes the main melody, entering from the left while the main melody becomes the countermelody, shortly entering from the right. And I realize that prob' sounds boring here, in words, but hearing it-hearing it the way I do, especially-is indescribable.
A song with perfect symmetry! It really is a work of art.
To me it sets a benchmark in creativity. I only hope I make something half as good someday. Because how does someone top that.
I can imagine what Marino would be making with the new technology available in today's time if he hadn't died. The fact that he even conceived the idea-let alone pulled it off so well-is indicative of a gifted mind.
Now what I meant by "no work" up there refers to the relationship between and placement of countermelodies. I perceive trance and hands up as having layers of sound. One layer is often dominant, being stronger and louder than the other. Commonly, the main melody (bottom) becomes subordinate to the countermelody (top). Take two of my fave songs for instance: Beam vs. Cyrus' All Over The World (Midnight Mix) and the song it influenced, Max Deejay feat. Faith's Boys Of Summer (Sample Junky's All Over The World Mix).
A more challenging example is Alex Megane's Little Lies (DJ Perfection Remix), where the main melody becomes so faint a person might not notice it, but there it is, at a fast bpm under the countermelody. Man I love that. It's almost as if it's between the countermelody, weaving in and out, similar to the setup in Giorno's Pretending Happiness (dBrotherz Remix). This dBrotherz Remix is also special for another reason: it incorporates both of the reasons why I love the trance and hands up genres. In the first half of the arrangement the main melody's chord progression changes; then in the second half both chord progressions change. A very cool moment is in this half, where the main melody ascends so high, sounding triumphant (over the countermelody, no less!)
Less common (to me anyway) are songs where the countermelody is subordinate to the main melody. Yet they're just as good. Two that immediately come to mind are Skydiver's Liberation Day (DJ Genetic Remix) and Deepstahl's Steam (Trance Version).
Then some songs get more complex, and that's where work comes in. By work I mean finding the elements of these songs is harder, and those elements are positioned differently:
My fave moment in All Over The World is in the second half of the arrangement where a second countermelody becomes subordinate to the first countermelody before it stands alone. A total tease on Beam & Cyrus' part since I like that chord progression and it appears so briefly. Three melodies side-by-side. Nothing better.
Same deal with Boys Of Summer, only Sample Junky is kinder, introducing the second countermelody early (though one could perceive that as a tease lol) and using it again in the second half of the arrangement.
And for awesomeness to the extreme, four melodies side-by-side: The Pirates' Unchained Melody (Lucab Alternative Edit). (sadly this remix seems to be like Hypertrophy's Eternal Flames (Melodica Mystica Short Mix) where no "long" version actually exists)
After the main melody enters, the soprano-like vocal (which i also consider a melody since i often listen to a song with vocals to hear the sound of the vocals alone, without registering the sung words in my mind. i.e. Beat Control's No Gravity (Gravity Extended Mix)-btw if someone knows the language she sings lemme know) becomes subordinate to it, and below that, almost nonexistent, is the violin, which never disappears. I suppose the average person can hear it in the moments where it shines through; I hear it the whole time.
The cleverness of this version is a second countermelody appears, almost equal to the main melody; the counterpoint is so smooth that one might think the main melody's chord progression simply changes. Instead of top and bottom, to me this is a case where the main melody is pushing forward, always in the same direction, with the countermelody pushing back, from the opposite direction.
Clearly, there's more to these genres than just "untz untz boom tiss." And clearly, I need someone in my life on my level to put me in my place (whaddya know, i can still laugh to myself). Because being the only person in the United States, it seems, who cares this much for them and hears sound in this way is frickin' lonely.
History says Beethoven had an arrogant streak. Of course he did. That's what happens when no one's around to challenge you at your own game. (i'm not making the parallel that i have an arrogant streak-well, maybe i do but only when alone . . . there goes that laugh again)
I don't mean to imply that I dislike sharing what I know, music-wise. Quite the opposite. I enjoy spreading knowledge of what I like; I wish everyone in the world knew and enjoyed it the way I do. But the point I'm making is something Christina alluded to a few years ago. She told me how someone, a poet she knows, keeps her on her toes re. her own poetry. And I gotta wonder if everyone in the world values and craves that kind of relationship, or whether only those of us who are into the arts wants that. That being a person who can teach me something I don't know and, more important, teach me something I want to know. Impossible, I know. A person would have to be a mind reader to know what I want to know. I don't even know what I want to know, only that I'll know it when I hear it. :P
Speaking of Beethoven, I have several things in common with him, if history's accurate. Makes me wonder what those dead classical musicians would think of the trance and hands up genres. Would their minds set on fire, like mine, hearing D-Tune vs. EMD Boyz's Bring The Bass Back (Original Mix) or Indietro's Il Destino (Libertia Remix). Would they be as captivated as I am by the arrangements of Not Complete DJ's Destination or Beam's Odin (Original Vocal Exodus). And would they be filled with emotion, moved to joyful tears, like me, by the magnificence of Pedro Del Mar with Ciro Visone & Sara Pollino's Sunset At Luminosity Beach (Original Mix), especially when the main melody seeps in and begins building up or when hearing the drum roll.
BTBB is esp notable because even I can't follow the chord progression. That makes the song frustrating but also a lot of fun to count. The intro melody is easy enough with 13 notes, followed by another 15, then 13, then 15 again. Then I can't keep up. Damn staccato notes.
I was telling tobiasaf about a certain incident recently. I'd gone out for New Year's to a lounge with friends, and on the way we purchased those small, cheap bottles of liquor from a local liquor store. Someone recommended three to me, but I'm a lightweight drinker and only drank one, a Ukrainian vodka, while in the lounge. I began to dance and next thing I know (though it was actually hours later; i have no recollection of the time in between), I was being dragged outside by friends, still dancing. This event was recounted by them in the following: "You danced the fuck outta there!" A woman came outside at one point, and asked (more like demanded), "Is he on ecstasy??" And I replied, "No! I just like music" while my friends laughed and replied, "No! He just had one drink." And she replied, "No! I've seen people on ecstasy and he's on ecstasy!"
In retrospect, hilarious. I mention it at all 'cause I think if I'd heard BTBB while "high," I'd finally have kept count with the chord progression. Christina never wants me to dance again. We shall see.
Another fun, yet simpler song to count is Caramell's Caramelldansen (Dan-J g0ez Jump! Mix). Awesome bass sequence. In the first section the bass vibrates 4 times, followed by 12 measures of "silence" (though the song's never really silent; i just count to myself). And the pattern continues: 4, 12, 4, 12, 4, 12, 8, 9, 7, 9
And main section (my fave): 4, 12, 4, 13, 3, 12, 4, 13, 3, 12, 4, 12
Last section: 8, 8, 8, 8
Man I love music. And I loved making this post. But I haven't forgotten the more pressing matter in the beginning of it. I know I should get my ears checked. Haven't found the time yet.
Part of me is afraid, too, at the possibility of my worst fear coming true.
I foresee three scenarios, and all of them are lose/lose/lose for me:
1) Something's wrong with my ear that can be fixed, and if "fixed" I could end up hearing like everyone else. And would it be so bad to hear like everyone else? Yes. Yes, it would.
2) Something's wrong with my ear that can't be fixed.
and 3) Nothing's wrong with my ear, what's happening has no explanation, and it's something I'll have to live with and learn to control for the rest of my life.
I have a strong feeling it's 3, but who knows. I say this 'cause it's not always like that. I get restful sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and my eyes look normal in the morning. Usually as the day progresses is when the pressure starts building in my ear and over my eyes.
* Addendum: Y'know, I could handle it if the disconnect was to my right ear. My right ear's useless compared to my left; my left is what makes sound so pleasurable. Take OceanLab's Sky Falls Down (OceanLab AM Mix), for instance. Yes, I fell out of love with AvB's version; don't care for the arrangement anymore. The aerial and oceanic sounds of OceanLab's version suits the song more imo.
Anyway, here is the vinyl rip from 2002. I'm always looking to update my vinyl rips with digital quality mp3s, either CD or WEB. However, I got an unpleasant surprise when I found this digital re-release: here is the updated OceanLab AM Mix. The concentration of sound in the WEB version is in the right ear. To me the vinyl rip sounds better and fuller 'cause sound is concentrated in the left.
The same situation applies to A.I.D.A's Remember Me: to me the Trancemaster version sounds better and fuller 'cause sound is concentrated in the left, whereas the CD-Single version sounds empty 'cause sound is concentrated in the right. *
In the meantime, I feel surprisingly good. I'm not near accepting one part of myself yet, but I think the guilt and shame are fading, which is the first step I guess.
Why make a post like this? A co-worker and I were talking about reputations recently, and it made me realize I've got to get over this. This being the need to be this anonymous individual, void of sense and self-expression. Otherwise I'll become Vincent de Moor basically. And I don't mean that negatively-i.e. "sucks to be him"-'cause having VdM's talent would be a fine thing indeed. I'm merely referring to his extreme privacy.
I heard "You're so boring" a lot growing up.
No, I just didn't want to admit to anyone, "That's my life. That's who I am."
Because the times I did try to share my interests, no one cared or people made fun of me. After a while it was easier to say nothing. So now, it's like I wonder how anyone could be interested in me and I'm always surprised when someone is.
And the other major reason to keep quiet was: what would be the context of the conversation? "Hey ______, so tell me some crazy shit about yourself!" Riiight. 'cause people just say those words all the time in everyday conversation.
It's becoming easier to talk to people-even those I don't know well, like my co-worker-about things that actually matter to me. And I have great, substantive conversations with another co-worker, who I actually told parts of my life to. Maybe I'll tell him the rest someday too. Not to mention I had a long conversation about my music interests to him. Verbalizing this stuff will take getting used to. It was weird (but good) saying artist names I've only ever said in my head.