I'm turning 24 in a week...
...And I have never felt more miserable, lonely, and worthless before in my life.
I know that I should be happy and all.But for some reason I don't.I have yet to return to college, I have a shitload of health problems, and I feel like that I am being abandoned by everybody around me.I know it sound like I am paranoid since it is probably just birthday jitters.Yet, in the pit of my stomach, it feels like it is true.
I even can't remember the last time that I actually felt good for myself.I thought I would feel better when I went to see Star Wars last week.But, I couldn't shake the fact that a few people that I had hope would have been there couldn't make it.I felt miserable on a night that should have been both fun and memorable.
I hate the fact that I am not able to hang out with friends of mine since I am constantly at work all of the time.And they are also responsible for helping me maintaining my sanity and well being (which is slowly fading away at this point).Good thing my sis is there for me to talk too if things get too rough.
I hope that things will get better soon.My cousin gets out of prison in 8 months, my brother is moving up here to Salt Lake City, and I hope to get my sorry ass back in school by this fall.But, until then, I don't know if I can keep myself together before I lose it.
What the hell is happening to me...
I know that I should be happy and all.But for some reason I don't.I have yet to return to college, I have a shitload of health problems, and I feel like that I am being abandoned by everybody around me.I know it sound like I am paranoid since it is probably just birthday jitters.Yet, in the pit of my stomach, it feels like it is true.
I even can't remember the last time that I actually felt good for myself.I thought I would feel better when I went to see Star Wars last week.But, I couldn't shake the fact that a few people that I had hope would have been there couldn't make it.I felt miserable on a night that should have been both fun and memorable.
I hate the fact that I am not able to hang out with friends of mine since I am constantly at work all of the time.And they are also responsible for helping me maintaining my sanity and well being (which is slowly fading away at this point).Good thing my sis is there for me to talk too if things get too rough.
I hope that things will get better soon.My cousin gets out of prison in 8 months, my brother is moving up here to Salt Lake City, and I hope to get my sorry ass back in school by this fall.But, until then, I don't know if I can keep myself together before I lose it.
What the hell is happening to me...