What Would You Do Make Twilight Better?
What would I do? I already did it.
Well, it's not in proper, readable format (it's just an copy with edits, pasted paper and glue all over it), but it goes like this.
Bella leaves Arizona, blah blah, meets Edward, is reasonably dazzled by his looks, and then the stalking begins.
Yes, I'm calling it stalking. When she talks to him in biology, she gets freaked out and insulted when he pulls a 'you stink', and then, since this one is a bit smarter, she stays away. When she goes out to buy the 4th Edition of D&D (ok, she's a nerd, but nerd chicks are cute), Edward is following. It's the 'Where are you going' gang replaced with this quiet, shadowy figure.
Things get serious when he leaves love messages wedged under the window. She talks to him at school and tells him that she's seeing someone, and conveniently finds Jacob walking by (you know, as you do), and claims he's her boyfriend. Edward gets the Gaston-fever from Beauty and the Beast, but this is more subtle. He grins and nods, then leaves. For now, Bella is just sticking with Jacob and staying away from Edward, since Jacob hates Ed's guts.
He tells her about the cold ones...don't look at me.
Ok, I didn't change that piece of crap, but damn it, I like the 'cold ones' theme. I changed the story, and made the vampires Aztec gods (since sacrificial rituals was integral to their culture). So they weren't white, but biology doesn't lie. Edward is a bit more yellowish than white, and he's noticeably sick, yet still very charming and handsome.
So the catch (still bad for me, but I'm just sparkling turd here) is that this is sort of like the American Gods novel. This lone vampire lord claims this state, and there is no vampire family.
That is a change which I sometimes regret, seeing that I had another alternate plot that made Carlisle the hematologist vampire protagonist who travels the world, eliminating the vampire virus which transformed him by sheer medical kickassery and a lot of antibodies, fighting against major vampire covens and medicine companies who want to sell their much less effective medicine first before they sell his, so they can get their money's worth first. Man, that is been just awesome...
Hmm...*bubble pops* Ah, right, current Twilight re-write. I'm leaving the hematologist vampire for later.
So, since Jacob here isn't a werewolf, and is a normal human, they eventually find out that Edward doesn't accept no for an answer, and soon stops them, intending on making Bella his immortal brood queen. Why her? Because she's the newest face in Forks, Washington, and he already had sick zombie sex with all of them at the age of 3. 8D
*dodges beer can*
Ok, no infant sex, fine. But I'm going to find another reason. Maybe because she's...OH, SHIT. I FOUND IT. Bella is short for Isabella, a Spanish name. The Aztecs were wiped out by the Spaniards, and since Edward is a half-brain-rotted fiend, he thinks Bella is a Spaniard queen, and takes his timeless revenge. MUWhaha.
So, in the end, Edward slaughters Jacob, and Bella figures out how this man thinks by sneaking into his lair, and finding his ixiptlatli's costume, which showed how the Aztec really invisioned him. Edward seems to think of himself the guider of souls, in which all must be sacrificed to him for the world to continue existence. This heresy from Bella in which she refuses to service him, and Jacob denying his sacrifice draws on Edward's great fury--
And then, Bella is forced to contact...a hematologist vampire who roams the world hunting for a vampire virus!
Wow, I have too much time on my hands.
(Reply to this)
Well, it's not in proper, readable format (it's just an copy with edits, pasted paper and glue all over it), but it goes like this.
Bella leaves Arizona, blah blah, meets Edward, is reasonably dazzled by his looks, and then the stalking begins.
Yes, I'm calling it stalking. When she talks to him in biology, she gets freaked out and insulted when he pulls a 'you stink', and then, since this one is a bit smarter, she stays away. When she goes out to buy the 4th Edition of D&D (ok, she's a nerd, but nerd chicks are cute), Edward is following. It's the 'Where are you going' gang replaced with this quiet, shadowy figure.
Things get serious when he leaves love messages wedged under the window. She talks to him at school and tells him that she's seeing someone, and conveniently finds Jacob walking by (you know, as you do), and claims he's her boyfriend. Edward gets the Gaston-fever from Beauty and the Beast, but this is more subtle. He grins and nods, then leaves. For now, Bella is just sticking with Jacob and staying away from Edward, since Jacob hates Ed's guts.
He tells her about the cold ones...don't look at me.
Ok, I didn't change that piece of crap, but damn it, I like the 'cold ones' theme. I changed the story, and made the vampires Aztec gods (since sacrificial rituals was integral to their culture). So they weren't white, but biology doesn't lie. Edward is a bit more yellowish than white, and he's noticeably sick, yet still very charming and handsome.
So the catch (still bad for me, but I'm just sparkling turd here) is that this is sort of like the American Gods novel. This lone vampire lord claims this state, and there is no vampire family.
That is a change which I sometimes regret, seeing that I had another alternate plot that made Carlisle the hematologist vampire protagonist who travels the world, eliminating the vampire virus which transformed him by sheer medical kickassery and a lot of antibodies, fighting against major vampire covens and medicine companies who want to sell their much less effective medicine first before they sell his, so they can get their money's worth first. Man, that is been just awesome...
Hmm...*bubble pops* Ah, right, current Twilight re-write. I'm leaving the hematologist vampire for later.
So, since Jacob here isn't a werewolf, and is a normal human, they eventually find out that Edward doesn't accept no for an answer, and soon stops them, intending on making Bella his immortal brood queen. Why her? Because she's the newest face in Forks, Washington, and he already had sick zombie sex with all of them at the age of 3. 8D
*dodges beer can*
Ok, no infant sex, fine. But I'm going to find another reason. Maybe because she's...OH, SHIT. I FOUND IT. Bella is short for Isabella, a Spanish name. The Aztecs were wiped out by the Spaniards, and since Edward is a half-brain-rotted fiend, he thinks Bella is a Spaniard queen, and takes his timeless revenge. MUWhaha.
So, in the end, Edward slaughters Jacob, and Bella figures out how this man thinks by sneaking into his lair, and finding his ixiptlatli's costume, which showed how the Aztec really invisioned him. Edward seems to think of himself the guider of souls, in which all must be sacrificed to him for the world to continue existence. This heresy from Bella in which she refuses to service him, and Jacob denying his sacrifice draws on Edward's great fury--
And then, Bella is forced to contact...a hematologist vampire who roams the world hunting for a vampire virus!
Wow, I have too much time on my hands.
(Reply to this)