Endless rambling.
I have never done this before...
My insights have never been the thing bigger then my own place. I am not a great leader or person in general...I highly doubt everyone will treasure this and analyze everything I wrote to make out a bigger purpose.
Perhaps someone will...but that is not our case. Our case is this: I am no important person, and my insights effect no one except those in my immediate circle.
You may raise an eyebrow -at least- at many things I say, but I completely believe that -although the diversity of cultures and mindsets-, we are all people, and as people, we connect.
With a common language, purpose and culture or without.
I do not know if this place will be my treasury, for as far as yesterday, I only confined my secrets to one person.
And that one person didn't see me the way I saw her.
...no, this is not about an ex-girlfriend. This is much more...this is a struggle of mind and heart. I couldn't stand anymore, and instead of wishing her goodbye as I twice did (We fought a lot in the course of near-a-year-we-knew-each other), I now wish her nothing but the darkest of thoughts and the most cursed of desires.
I do not wish her good luck, but nightmares to plague her sleep.
...That is no fault of her completely...everyone contributes some way or another to everything around them. That is my philosophy. A person could change and effect his or her surroundings. Just as I failed to effect her, I failed to regain her trust.
Now, I do not see it as important...not anymore.
...Away from such topics, the most common thing I do apart from studying and reading, is writing.
My passion for darkepicdreamsbloodstuff (A term I used to use a long time ago) can only be let out with writing.
I must write sometimes...because I can't focus on anything else...
I begun writing a new story, right after I contacted that person.
...I tried to impress her, perhaps invoke a common interest, but she didn't enjoy it the least...she hated every word I wrote, although I wrote it with passion and happiness. Finally, my long-lost motivation is back...but for a price.
Perhaps I did it intentionally...chose a subject she wouldn't like. Perhaps I didn't want to help her...perhaps I wanted to make her feel even worse when she once did.
...my life with her is a rather complicated one...so I won't speak of this further except in other times.
I truly wish that this website will be a good vent for my feelings.
...And I wish that -even though I chose the same website she uses- that she will never find me here...
Perhaps unintentionally...I wish she does.
My insights have never been the thing bigger then my own place. I am not a great leader or person in general...I highly doubt everyone will treasure this and analyze everything I wrote to make out a bigger purpose.
Perhaps someone will...but that is not our case. Our case is this: I am no important person, and my insights effect no one except those in my immediate circle.
You may raise an eyebrow -at least- at many things I say, but I completely believe that -although the diversity of cultures and mindsets-, we are all people, and as people, we connect.
With a common language, purpose and culture or without.
I do not know if this place will be my treasury, for as far as yesterday, I only confined my secrets to one person.
And that one person didn't see me the way I saw her.
...no, this is not about an ex-girlfriend. This is much more...this is a struggle of mind and heart. I couldn't stand anymore, and instead of wishing her goodbye as I twice did (We fought a lot in the course of near-a-year-we-knew-each other), I now wish her nothing but the darkest of thoughts and the most cursed of desires.
I do not wish her good luck, but nightmares to plague her sleep.
...That is no fault of her completely...everyone contributes some way or another to everything around them. That is my philosophy. A person could change and effect his or her surroundings. Just as I failed to effect her, I failed to regain her trust.
Now, I do not see it as important...not anymore.
...Away from such topics, the most common thing I do apart from studying and reading, is writing.
My passion for darkepicdreamsbloodstuff (A term I used to use a long time ago) can only be let out with writing.
I must write sometimes...because I can't focus on anything else...
I begun writing a new story, right after I contacted that person.
...I tried to impress her, perhaps invoke a common interest, but she didn't enjoy it the least...she hated every word I wrote, although I wrote it with passion and happiness. Finally, my long-lost motivation is back...but for a price.
Perhaps I did it intentionally...chose a subject she wouldn't like. Perhaps I didn't want to help her...perhaps I wanted to make her feel even worse when she once did.
...my life with her is a rather complicated one...so I won't speak of this further except in other times.
I truly wish that this website will be a good vent for my feelings.
...And I wish that -even though I chose the same website she uses- that she will never find me here...
Perhaps unintentionally...I wish she does.