Egyptian Culture -- Quotes
Since I believe that the best way to know a culture is to listen to their jokes, here is some things that show how tired and tiring the people of the sister nation Egypt are.
Note that I'll try to translate the joke the best I can, but...
Anyway, here we go.
# It is said that 87% of the people are pissed at the government. What is your comment?
- The other 13% are from other nationalities.
# Do you have any relatives who are martyrs of war?
- No, I have relatives who martyred in peace...98 peace, of course.
# How close is government security to the high dam?
- They're both a source of 'electricity'.
# Why do Egyptian men call their wives 'the government'?
- It's hard to change them when a disaster strikes.
*translator note: "Or continues to strike."
# When can you feel like the country is beautiful?
- I never feel it's beautiful except when Dalila sings, 'Beautiful, my country'...regardless of the fact that she said that and committed suicide...
# What's the biggest difference between Egypt and America?
- Tourism returns from the fake pyramid in Las Vegas is higher than tourism returns from the real pyramid in Jaiza.
*translator note: They do prefer that spelling.
# What's the most important rule in Egypt?
- There is no rule for anything.
# What will you answer, as an Egyptian, when you're asked: What did you do with your life?
- I spent it on three things; the traffic jams of the Nile Palace, waiting for it to open; in Sala' Salam waiting for him to move; and at the October Bridge waiting for the prime minister goes home.
*translator note: Obviously, most of the time at his car. XD
# Who benefits from the all the traffic in Cairo downtown?
- Mobile companies, and then the Traffic Ministry.
* translator note: Mostly because calling people is better than doing nothing.
# What's the difference between the Egyptian wife and the Lebanonian wife?
- 40 kilos.
* translator note: That's 80 pounds. xD
# What's the worst possible phrase you can hear when in the operation room?
- What a loss.
Note that I'll try to translate the joke the best I can, but...
Anyway, here we go.
# It is said that 87% of the people are pissed at the government. What is your comment?
- The other 13% are from other nationalities.
# Do you have any relatives who are martyrs of war?
- No, I have relatives who martyred in peace...98 peace, of course.
# How close is government security to the high dam?
- They're both a source of 'electricity'.
# Why do Egyptian men call their wives 'the government'?
- It's hard to change them when a disaster strikes.
*translator note: "Or continues to strike."
# When can you feel like the country is beautiful?
- I never feel it's beautiful except when Dalila sings, 'Beautiful, my country'...regardless of the fact that she said that and committed suicide...
# What's the biggest difference between Egypt and America?
- Tourism returns from the fake pyramid in Las Vegas is higher than tourism returns from the real pyramid in Jaiza.
*translator note: They do prefer that spelling.
# What's the most important rule in Egypt?
- There is no rule for anything.
# What will you answer, as an Egyptian, when you're asked: What did you do with your life?
- I spent it on three things; the traffic jams of the Nile Palace, waiting for it to open; in Sala' Salam waiting for him to move; and at the October Bridge waiting for the prime minister goes home.
*translator note: Obviously, most of the time at his car. XD
# Who benefits from the all the traffic in Cairo downtown?
- Mobile companies, and then the Traffic Ministry.
* translator note: Mostly because calling people is better than doing nothing.
# What's the difference between the Egyptian wife and the Lebanonian wife?
- 40 kilos.
* translator note: That's 80 pounds. xD
# What's the worst possible phrase you can hear when in the operation room?
- What a loss.