Forgotten Paths Sporking. Chapter 1 --Fat is a balancer
Did I hear a swish?
Turning slowly back to the mirror, and grabbing a yellow transparent soap bubble, I whispered at myself:
“I am a moron.”
“Aren’t I a little young to be making up stuff?”
Pfft…
------
We stood amid clapping people, flashing mocking smiles at the red-haired 17 year old, who looked very irritated at our pocketed hands
-----
What is that? Seriously?!
I recalled hazily, flashing a sarcastic smile at my reflection, remembering my grandfather, but thinking again…it was never too early to die, my younger brother taught me that…how is it too early to hallucinate?
Commence shoving sympathy and mysterious past down readers throats in 3, 2--
After I had finished I changed my clothes, the wet soggy aftermath of a shower still had its tiring effect on me, but I resisted and left my room heading to the cafeteria, hoping to catch some lunch…It was just a figure of speech I said to Alex that night…
SHOW, DON’T TELL.
Passing a wide, flat screen-like window, I saw it was already nearing sunset…already traveled and jumped off three prayer times…I suck.
Yes, you do. And that doesn’t make any sense. What prayer times?!
I reached the white, crowded cafeteria, it looked like any normal cafeteria found in schools, and there must be a dining room for those with fat wallets…a large U-shaped room, food from all sorts littered the sides, open for anyone to take. The receptionist on the door awaited with wide, skeptical eyes those who wanted to buy anything. I got myself some boiled peas and a beefsteak, I sat down and began forcing them down then I froze when Mark, Katherine and Alex sat down in the same wooden table I was eating.
Description sucks. Setting sucks and random people suck.
Alex looked embarrassed, so did Mark, I thought this was Katherine’s idea…she always had an influence on us…I wonder why, pulling a strand of dirty-blond hair behind her ear, she voiced at me happily:
“I will kill you, dear!”
“’mourning Saif! I hope you had a nice sleep last night.”
-“For some reason I didn’t…guess why,” I replied darkly, pinning my eyes on my steak.
Emo Git strikes again. I’ll call Saif an Emo Git after this.
“Aw stop being so negative…just look at the bright side…we are heading to Sinnoh, All new lands, people and Pokémon,” she began brightly, her very tone of voice melting away my pessimism.
This conversation is so flat. Almost as flat as most Serebii fanfiction shit stories. Sorry, but my par just rose, and I realize how lame and flat most conversations were. Dialogue is dead, and this is rotten
I can’t believe some people are still there! Duncan hasn’t improved at all, Umbreon_Ruler is still sluggish in writing, and that Mewtwo-fetish girl is so boring and uneventful in her writings…even Blue_Mew’s story was a chore to read…Just like Gardevoir Girl’s new stories that look like half-assed pieces of shit.
Wow, that was hateful…
I mean, hell! No writer tries to rationalize how the Pokémon world is dangerous, yet allow 10-year old morons to walk around and collect them like slaves, and battle for their own amusement and for personal glorious achievements…And most Pokémon in said fan fictions are just the classic Telepathic Companion who has no say in the story’s plot. At least Ielas is the reason Emo Git is so messed up!
-“not excluding sinister organizations,” I tried, hopefully spilling water on her enthusiastic, fiery spirit.
SHOW DON’T-you know what? I won’t even bother fixing this shit.
“Well…you will have to take the good with the bad.”
There IS NO GOOD here!
I didn’t understand how she is so optimistic…I never liked leaving Hoenn but I had no other choice…by running from my past this was the only port there was…I still wonder how they were in the same trip…I never told anyone about my plans of leaving.
CONSPERACY
-“I mean they are everywhere, lift a rock and you will find ten fighting for capturing the strongest Pokémon in the world to make more land or more sea…then a chosen one appears and--”
See? This is just sick. There is no tension, no mystery and no plot twists in all Pokémon games. They’re all the SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER. At least Silver had some antagonist crap with Red.
She stuffed down a spoon of…something…I was too depressed to check.
WAAH! Cry me a damn river, Git.
She always liked the idea of the chosen one…but even when I do not like prophecies, much I like fate, I bow in respect to god who laid for everything a scale, and to think…who made these prophecies anyway?
Well, at least I tried to steer away from the Chosen One trope.
My eyes strayed away, glaring out the window to the beautiful sunset, merging clouds under its blood-red cape, splattering the horizon with the blood of its fall.
…Whatever.
Turning slowly back to the mirror, and grabbing a yellow transparent soap bubble, I whispered at myself:
“I am a moron.”
“Aren’t I a little young to be making up stuff?”
Pfft…
------
We stood amid clapping people, flashing mocking smiles at the red-haired 17 year old, who looked very irritated at our pocketed hands
-----
What is that? Seriously?!
I recalled hazily, flashing a sarcastic smile at my reflection, remembering my grandfather, but thinking again…it was never too early to die, my younger brother taught me that…how is it too early to hallucinate?
Commence shoving sympathy and mysterious past down readers throats in 3, 2--
After I had finished I changed my clothes, the wet soggy aftermath of a shower still had its tiring effect on me, but I resisted and left my room heading to the cafeteria, hoping to catch some lunch…It was just a figure of speech I said to Alex that night…
SHOW, DON’T TELL.
Passing a wide, flat screen-like window, I saw it was already nearing sunset…already traveled and jumped off three prayer times…I suck.
Yes, you do. And that doesn’t make any sense. What prayer times?!
I reached the white, crowded cafeteria, it looked like any normal cafeteria found in schools, and there must be a dining room for those with fat wallets…a large U-shaped room, food from all sorts littered the sides, open for anyone to take. The receptionist on the door awaited with wide, skeptical eyes those who wanted to buy anything. I got myself some boiled peas and a beefsteak, I sat down and began forcing them down then I froze when Mark, Katherine and Alex sat down in the same wooden table I was eating.
Description sucks. Setting sucks and random people suck.
Alex looked embarrassed, so did Mark, I thought this was Katherine’s idea…she always had an influence on us…I wonder why, pulling a strand of dirty-blond hair behind her ear, she voiced at me happily:
“I will kill you, dear!”
“’mourning Saif! I hope you had a nice sleep last night.”
-“For some reason I didn’t…guess why,” I replied darkly, pinning my eyes on my steak.
Emo Git strikes again. I’ll call Saif an Emo Git after this.
“Aw stop being so negative…just look at the bright side…we are heading to Sinnoh, All new lands, people and Pokémon,” she began brightly, her very tone of voice melting away my pessimism.
This conversation is so flat. Almost as flat as most Serebii fanfiction shit stories. Sorry, but my par just rose, and I realize how lame and flat most conversations were. Dialogue is dead, and this is rotten
I can’t believe some people are still there! Duncan hasn’t improved at all, Umbreon_Ruler is still sluggish in writing, and that Mewtwo-fetish girl is so boring and uneventful in her writings…even Blue_Mew’s story was a chore to read…Just like Gardevoir Girl’s new stories that look like half-assed pieces of shit.
Wow, that was hateful…
I mean, hell! No writer tries to rationalize how the Pokémon world is dangerous, yet allow 10-year old morons to walk around and collect them like slaves, and battle for their own amusement and for personal glorious achievements…And most Pokémon in said fan fictions are just the classic Telepathic Companion who has no say in the story’s plot. At least Ielas is the reason Emo Git is so messed up!
-“not excluding sinister organizations,” I tried, hopefully spilling water on her enthusiastic, fiery spirit.
SHOW DON’T-you know what? I won’t even bother fixing this shit.
“Well…you will have to take the good with the bad.”
There IS NO GOOD here!
I didn’t understand how she is so optimistic…I never liked leaving Hoenn but I had no other choice…by running from my past this was the only port there was…I still wonder how they were in the same trip…I never told anyone about my plans of leaving.
CONSPERACY
-“I mean they are everywhere, lift a rock and you will find ten fighting for capturing the strongest Pokémon in the world to make more land or more sea…then a chosen one appears and--”
See? This is just sick. There is no tension, no mystery and no plot twists in all Pokémon games. They’re all the SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER. At least Silver had some antagonist crap with Red.
She stuffed down a spoon of…something…I was too depressed to check.
WAAH! Cry me a damn river, Git.
She always liked the idea of the chosen one…but even when I do not like prophecies, much I like fate, I bow in respect to god who laid for everything a scale, and to think…who made these prophecies anyway?
Well, at least I tried to steer away from the Chosen One trope.
My eyes strayed away, glaring out the window to the beautiful sunset, merging clouds under its blood-red cape, splattering the horizon with the blood of its fall.
…Whatever.