(no subject)
Had my lighting final today in class. My project, in my opinion, was probably third or fourth best (out of eight), so pretty okay. I like lighting alright, but I'm a pretty shitty director I think, so... I dunno.
After class I had a bit of an existential break down for some reason. This happens once in a while (read: once a week, minimum) and I don't know what I was trying to accomplish with it. Basically I was talking to myself on the drive home-- totally not crazy-- about how I'll never accomplish anything I want in life, and how I'll die alone, and I should probably just kill myself, blah blah blah. The usual "I NEED ATTENTION... FROM MYSELF!" bullshit I spew on occasion. I don't even believe these things anymore, and really I feel like I'm being my own shitty "You'll never find anyone better so you better not break up with me" boyfriend, and I'm pretty bored of that shit. I totes need a break from myself.
I have one more final tomorrow, and it's not done. It's for my screen writing class, the script of which I will probably post to LJ when I feel it's 'complete' (ie: not yet). It's a dramatic tale about a father and son after their daughter/sister attempts suicide. It's pretty intense.
But anyway, I'm'a go touch myself right now before I get back to writing.
After class I had a bit of an existential break down for some reason. This happens once in a while (read: once a week, minimum) and I don't know what I was trying to accomplish with it. Basically I was talking to myself on the drive home-- totally not crazy-- about how I'll never accomplish anything I want in life, and how I'll die alone, and I should probably just kill myself, blah blah blah. The usual "I NEED ATTENTION... FROM MYSELF!" bullshit I spew on occasion. I don't even believe these things anymore, and really I feel like I'm being my own shitty "You'll never find anyone better so you better not break up with me" boyfriend, and I'm pretty bored of that shit. I totes need a break from myself.
I have one more final tomorrow, and it's not done. It's for my screen writing class, the script of which I will probably post to LJ when I feel it's 'complete' (ie: not yet). It's a dramatic tale about a father and son after their daughter/sister attempts suicide. It's pretty intense.
But anyway, I'm'a go touch myself right now before I get back to writing.