Thanksgiving Dinner menu
Fun fact: I have been cooking thanksgiving dinner since I was twelve and my stepdad was too drunk to finish what he started. I alternate with my grandparents, but in recent years they've pretty much given up on giving a shit. In fact, the rest of my family has been on the fence about the holiday as a whole as well.
Last year and this year there was no intention of having the dinner at all, which is all fine by me (holidays and I don't get along, generally). But last year my mom had a last minute hankering for the dinner-- literally day of, had to shop and cook all in one go.
This year we had no plan, until my mom went and won herself a turkey on the radio. Sooooo GAME ON, it seems! Here is my amazing menu for the turkey day, for four ungrateful ingrates and myself. All in all, for the entire thing I only spent $63 out of pocket. The turkey we won would've cost more than that alone.
Now prepare for your mouth to water at the thought of...
- Turkey, cooked with my own special ingredient (hint: it's cherry coke)
- Mashed potatoes with skins, and gravy
- Stuffing made with chicken broth, bacon, celery, green onion, carrots, and sauteed mushrooms
- Brussels sprouts in butter reduction sauce, with fresh grated Parmesan
- Asparagus with hollandaise sauce
- Flakey fuckin' biscuits 'cause hell yes
- Cranberry sauce from the can 'cause ew
- Deviled eggs, which my older sister is making, which she makes for EVERY holiday despite how out of place it is, even though it's wicked delish
And for dessert, deep dish apple pie a la mode (with french vanilla ice cream).
I am rock hard at the thought of this dinner.
I am of course referring to my arteries.
Last year and this year there was no intention of having the dinner at all, which is all fine by me (holidays and I don't get along, generally). But last year my mom had a last minute hankering for the dinner-- literally day of, had to shop and cook all in one go.
This year we had no plan, until my mom went and won herself a turkey on the radio. Sooooo GAME ON, it seems! Here is my amazing menu for the turkey day, for four ungrateful ingrates and myself. All in all, for the entire thing I only spent $63 out of pocket. The turkey we won would've cost more than that alone.
Now prepare for your mouth to water at the thought of...
- Turkey, cooked with my own special ingredient (hint: it's cherry coke)
- Mashed potatoes with skins, and gravy
- Stuffing made with chicken broth, bacon, celery, green onion, carrots, and sauteed mushrooms
- Brussels sprouts in butter reduction sauce, with fresh grated Parmesan
- Asparagus with hollandaise sauce
- Flakey fuckin' biscuits 'cause hell yes
- Cranberry sauce from the can 'cause ew
- Deviled eggs, which my older sister is making, which she makes for EVERY holiday despite how out of place it is, even though it's wicked delish
And for dessert, deep dish apple pie a la mode (with french vanilla ice cream).
I am rock hard at the thought of this dinner.
I am of course referring to my arteries.