Let me kiss those bloody tears away pretty girl... 1st post by Devon.
My Dearest Morgan and Viewers,
It is quite ..{i dont know if ironic is the word?} how my first post in this livejournal is to apologize for being a "worthless no good peice of shit", and biggest asshole ever, yadda yadda.
Now I come forth.
I ask you not to cast your stones at me. (no I am not religious)
My lover, my angel, my perfect silloute I am forever sorry. You must know it was not my intention to hurt you. Sometimes in life we purposly plot to hurt someone and destroy what they have left living inside of them but that was not the case. We have always had an open relationship.
You, are my best friend.
You were my world.
When the rest of the worthless world saw ME as worthless and hated me none of it mattered because I had you, to take them all on, with me.
Every morning has been wretched since I've left. I miss waking up to sunshine and butterflies.
I miss morning breath kisses.
I miss the amazing; breath taking; uncomparable to anything so sweet before morning sex.
IF I loved her so much; if I miss this so much Why did I cheat on her with my ex wife you ask?
Things were getting stressful (baby, you and I both know that). The fighting over anything and everything. The pressure around me; talks of engagement and marriage. I had already married the wrong person and failed once, it occuring again seemed inevitable.
I suppose I felt pressured, to be happy everyday, to be yours every single day, to ignore the rest of the scummy world raining on my parade. Curiousty and emotion got the better of me. I clearly had extremely strong feelings for my ex wife to have married her; for an instant it overtook me to see what it would be like again. I can't lie and say I don't miss her sometimes. Just as I am sure you have missed your first love.
It doesn't mean after all of the drama and spite and hurt we can't work on this. I can understand if you don't want to, but something like what we have and had comes so rarely in life I can't just ignore that and "move on" I have to fight to have you back my beautiful one. I can't go around trying to fill voids to replace you. I can't go around having sex with "hot girls" as my buddies would label them. A few seconds of orgasmic pleasure isn't worth all of this.
You consume me.
I cant help that males are pigs. I cant help that women get emotional and overly sensitive, jealous and irrational at times either.
I felt something again for her for a second; and I didn't want to let that slip past me without curiousity getting the better of me; without seeing what could have been possibly.
I am living this life for me too you know, not just you. Just as you aren't soley living your life for me.
I see it all clearly now.
Go on and hate me if you must, I was meant to be alone in this world since the day I was born anyways and I can make it on my own. We both can.
but why face the world alone, when the both of us together is so much more intense.passionate.wonderful.
Dying,
Devon
I need you
It is quite ..{i dont know if ironic is the word?} how my first post in this livejournal is to apologize for being a "worthless no good peice of shit", and biggest asshole ever, yadda yadda.
Now I come forth.
I ask you not to cast your stones at me. (no I am not religious)
My lover, my angel, my perfect silloute I am forever sorry. You must know it was not my intention to hurt you. Sometimes in life we purposly plot to hurt someone and destroy what they have left living inside of them but that was not the case. We have always had an open relationship.
You, are my best friend.
You were my world.
When the rest of the worthless world saw ME as worthless and hated me none of it mattered because I had you, to take them all on, with me.
Every morning has been wretched since I've left. I miss waking up to sunshine and butterflies.
I miss morning breath kisses.
I miss the amazing; breath taking; uncomparable to anything so sweet before morning sex.
IF I loved her so much; if I miss this so much Why did I cheat on her with my ex wife you ask?
Things were getting stressful (baby, you and I both know that). The fighting over anything and everything. The pressure around me; talks of engagement and marriage. I had already married the wrong person and failed once, it occuring again seemed inevitable.
I suppose I felt pressured, to be happy everyday, to be yours every single day, to ignore the rest of the scummy world raining on my parade. Curiousty and emotion got the better of me. I clearly had extremely strong feelings for my ex wife to have married her; for an instant it overtook me to see what it would be like again. I can't lie and say I don't miss her sometimes. Just as I am sure you have missed your first love.
It doesn't mean after all of the drama and spite and hurt we can't work on this. I can understand if you don't want to, but something like what we have and had comes so rarely in life I can't just ignore that and "move on" I have to fight to have you back my beautiful one. I can't go around trying to fill voids to replace you. I can't go around having sex with "hot girls" as my buddies would label them. A few seconds of orgasmic pleasure isn't worth all of this.
You consume me.
I cant help that males are pigs. I cant help that women get emotional and overly sensitive, jealous and irrational at times either.
I felt something again for her for a second; and I didn't want to let that slip past me without curiousity getting the better of me; without seeing what could have been possibly.
I am living this life for me too you know, not just you. Just as you aren't soley living your life for me.
I see it all clearly now.
Go on and hate me if you must, I was meant to be alone in this world since the day I was born anyways and I can make it on my own. We both can.
but why face the world alone, when the both of us together is so much more intense.passionate.wonderful.
Dying,
Devon
I need you