Going Mobile
I got the WESTY running again yesterday which set me into a cleaning frenzy. She had been immobile for about 2 months so she wasn't so much like my "Adventure pal" and more like my freezing studio apartment with no heat or toilet. It actually took an hour to reconfigure the Van, including washing the sheets (yes, I am using SHEETS in the van now) and rearranging the effluvia that had snuck in. Possessions can be like cockroaches, sneaking into any place they can whether wanted or not. Testy is in good shape now though, even moved Bryan's generator from the Subaru to the Van, after starting it and letting it run for a bit of course. She is ready to "bug out" . Wow, I actually had a reason to use the term "bug out".
My art coach gave me an assignment to do by MOnday and damned if I don't find myself falling into my old patterns of doing whatever is the opposite of what people tell me to do. So as I am looking for my ole' pal BUCKY I run into not only his good habit but his bad ones. Yes I was distracted by doing the wheel but I also made time to catch up on far too much TV on the DVR. SJ calls it resistance, boy is he right. Freud called it the "Death Wish". My friend Bridgett used to call it "Fear of success syndrome". It has been a real problem for me that I have to get past. These days all the trappings of my past life have fallen away, leaving me with very little money, very few bills and beyond my son very few ties to anything else. I am like Burgess Meredith in the old TWILIGHT ZONE episode, all the time in the world. I just need to make sure I don't break my glasses.
My coach also sent me a link to a short film on Netfilx call http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/. I have tried a lot of different diets and some of them have not been very good. The fact is that I think that metabolic enhancers are most likely the cause of my heart problems. I have always had a really bad body image, for a lot of reasons, and as a result I have had trouble accepting myself the way I am. My coach is a longtime vegetarian, a lifestyle that I have toyed with during times that even extended over years. My coach is telling me something that I have already known, that I need to get more control over my health and my life if I want to get back to where I want to be as an artist.
Last night I had dinner with my friend jeff, we went to a chinese place I know and ate richer than I have in quite awhile, two beers to a company the meal and no more. Would have been great if I had not had chest pains and shortness of breath, including that nasty sharp pain under my heart I get when I am panicked or stressed. When I got home I had some tea and some clb soada and everything subsided. Then I tried to eat some of my leftovers. It came back. Seems I have acquired an aversion to MSG (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002113/ ). SOme people say that this is a load of bollocks, then again I know what I felt and I don't trust pretty much anyone who calls themselves an "expert". Because of that I am off chineses for awhile and I am doing a quick juice purge today to cleanse my system. Tomorrow I will saddle up Testy and go all "Flying Dutchman" for two days. I plan on doing a lot of drawing when I do.
My art coach gave me an assignment to do by MOnday and damned if I don't find myself falling into my old patterns of doing whatever is the opposite of what people tell me to do. So as I am looking for my ole' pal BUCKY I run into not only his good habit but his bad ones. Yes I was distracted by doing the wheel but I also made time to catch up on far too much TV on the DVR. SJ calls it resistance, boy is he right. Freud called it the "Death Wish". My friend Bridgett used to call it "Fear of success syndrome". It has been a real problem for me that I have to get past. These days all the trappings of my past life have fallen away, leaving me with very little money, very few bills and beyond my son very few ties to anything else. I am like Burgess Meredith in the old TWILIGHT ZONE episode, all the time in the world. I just need to make sure I don't break my glasses.
My coach also sent me a link to a short film on Netfilx call http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/. I have tried a lot of different diets and some of them have not been very good. The fact is that I think that metabolic enhancers are most likely the cause of my heart problems. I have always had a really bad body image, for a lot of reasons, and as a result I have had trouble accepting myself the way I am. My coach is a longtime vegetarian, a lifestyle that I have toyed with during times that even extended over years. My coach is telling me something that I have already known, that I need to get more control over my health and my life if I want to get back to where I want to be as an artist.
Last night I had dinner with my friend jeff, we went to a chinese place I know and ate richer than I have in quite awhile, two beers to a company the meal and no more. Would have been great if I had not had chest pains and shortness of breath, including that nasty sharp pain under my heart I get when I am panicked or stressed. When I got home I had some tea and some clb soada and everything subsided. Then I tried to eat some of my leftovers. It came back. Seems I have acquired an aversion to MSG (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002113/ ). SOme people say that this is a load of bollocks, then again I know what I felt and I don't trust pretty much anyone who calls themselves an "expert". Because of that I am off chineses for awhile and I am doing a quick juice purge today to cleanse my system. Tomorrow I will saddle up Testy and go all "Flying Dutchman" for two days. I plan on doing a lot of drawing when I do.