An unfunny monologue
Why do I keep asking myself these questions? More importantly, why do I keep shutting down the answers?
I think it lies with an uncertainty about whether I am asking the right questions. Is x happening as an indicator of y, or because of the combined effects of a, b and f? The feelings and potential resolves are bound up in the particulars, and I feel as though I have been divorced from my heart for a long time. That seems completely impossible and totally plausible at the same time. I am arguing and cross-arguing with myself to the extent that I am causing tiny explosions in my brain. I am driving myself insane, running madly in circles over the attempt to straighten things out that cannot be straightened. There are about 6, intersecting trains of thought running through my head and I find it impossible to ignore them all for long.
Will this be solved by income that actually meets my needs? Have I been transparent to the world? Are people actually worried?
Should I be worried? Am I already so worried that I have crossed over into not-worried? Is that possible?
When will this stop? How do I find the answers? How do I pinpoint the questions?
Why do I constantly feel alone?
I think it lies with an uncertainty about whether I am asking the right questions. Is x happening as an indicator of y, or because of the combined effects of a, b and f? The feelings and potential resolves are bound up in the particulars, and I feel as though I have been divorced from my heart for a long time. That seems completely impossible and totally plausible at the same time. I am arguing and cross-arguing with myself to the extent that I am causing tiny explosions in my brain. I am driving myself insane, running madly in circles over the attempt to straighten things out that cannot be straightened. There are about 6, intersecting trains of thought running through my head and I find it impossible to ignore them all for long.
Will this be solved by income that actually meets my needs? Have I been transparent to the world? Are people actually worried?
Should I be worried? Am I already so worried that I have crossed over into not-worried? Is that possible?
When will this stop? How do I find the answers? How do I pinpoint the questions?
Why do I constantly feel alone?