(no subject)
I feel really messed up. Idk. I spent the whole day being slow and sad.
I was just thinking about dad. It was actually a really close call. And we were lucky. Lucky that dad was home. Lucky that mom was home with him. Lucky that mom actually has a lot of experience with cardiology type stuff. Lucky that they live so close to the hospital.
And I'm kinda tearing up about it. I guess I'm crying or something. And I don't really know what I'm thinking about this whole situation because Dad is home now and he's recovering and if I was going to cry and worry and get emotional...wouldn't it be more appropriate to do so when it's happening rather than after the danger has passed?
I don't know. I feel kind of confused.
A lot of people in my family die because of heriditary heart disease. And apparently when they had heart attacks, they didn't feel pain really? Or they do but not as much as they should and not exactly the right kind...
My dad just felt kinda achey in his chest - he thought it was because he was lifting weights the other day....but then his jaw started aching too...
His cousin apparently just dropped dead one day without any symptoms...and he was the same age my dad is...
And when we talk about it we kinda laugh and joke...Because he was wearing those short little shorts and mom got sassy with 911 operator. And dads pretty relieved about getting a Really Good Excuse for not turning his work in on time...
I think I was kinda in shock when it happened...
They worked on his heart through an artery in his groin...and they left the thing in that artery after the procedure was over because of the blood thinners they gave him. The nurses took it out a few hours later, when he was in his own room....and I purposefully ignored it because I don't want to see my dads junk and I figured it was a pretty routine thing...so I was playing with my 3ds. Or attempting to. I couldn't focus. And then things got bad and Dads heart rate and blood pressure got really low and I was just kinda staring at him and mom was holding his hand and the nurses were just....idk everything was really strained and I felt horrible that I had been attempting to play Zelda when dad was apparently not out of hot water yet...
And he's okay. I guess it couldn't have been that bad because we weren't kicked out of the room. But it was scary.
I can't help but think about what could've happened though. And mom would have been all alone in that house. And Zed would have been across the state. And it probably would have messed him up real bad and he's going to be doing his finals soon. And I don't know. I just feel messed up.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
I was just thinking about dad. It was actually a really close call. And we were lucky. Lucky that dad was home. Lucky that mom was home with him. Lucky that mom actually has a lot of experience with cardiology type stuff. Lucky that they live so close to the hospital.
And I'm kinda tearing up about it. I guess I'm crying or something. And I don't really know what I'm thinking about this whole situation because Dad is home now and he's recovering and if I was going to cry and worry and get emotional...wouldn't it be more appropriate to do so when it's happening rather than after the danger has passed?
I don't know. I feel kind of confused.
A lot of people in my family die because of heriditary heart disease. And apparently when they had heart attacks, they didn't feel pain really? Or they do but not as much as they should and not exactly the right kind...
My dad just felt kinda achey in his chest - he thought it was because he was lifting weights the other day....but then his jaw started aching too...
His cousin apparently just dropped dead one day without any symptoms...and he was the same age my dad is...
And when we talk about it we kinda laugh and joke...Because he was wearing those short little shorts and mom got sassy with 911 operator. And dads pretty relieved about getting a Really Good Excuse for not turning his work in on time...
I think I was kinda in shock when it happened...
They worked on his heart through an artery in his groin...and they left the thing in that artery after the procedure was over because of the blood thinners they gave him. The nurses took it out a few hours later, when he was in his own room....and I purposefully ignored it because I don't want to see my dads junk and I figured it was a pretty routine thing...so I was playing with my 3ds. Or attempting to. I couldn't focus. And then things got bad and Dads heart rate and blood pressure got really low and I was just kinda staring at him and mom was holding his hand and the nurses were just....idk everything was really strained and I felt horrible that I had been attempting to play Zelda when dad was apparently not out of hot water yet...
And he's okay. I guess it couldn't have been that bad because we weren't kicked out of the room. But it was scary.
I can't help but think about what could've happened though. And mom would have been all alone in that house. And Zed would have been across the state. And it probably would have messed him up real bad and he's going to be doing his finals soon. And I don't know. I just feel messed up.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.