chaos, disorder, questions left unanswered

[derangedicon]

I have looked around for the past few days at the people who surround me, nothing is what it used to be and it saddens me so much. in a big way i feel abandoned but its not in the way you would think, not as if i personally have been abandoned but a part of me harbors a feeling, and thats the only word i can really use to describe what it feels like. all my friends around me seem to be distancing themselves from each other and its a horrible sight. Vince has lost someone close to him, david seems to have this great spite for me because i am with tiffany, which i dont understand but w/e i guess, and everyone just seems like they are sick of each other, i dunno what the hell it is but i miss the days when everyone just got along and there wasn't so much stupid fucking bullshit that troubles everyone, i dunno, its all just so confusing to me, i think the only thing that is keeping me from losing my sanity over it is tiffany, and i dont want to bring it up in front of everyone because people will probably deny it, or get way over worked up about it, or some stupid shit like that, i just miss the old days i guess when all that surrounded us was complete happiness, i do hope though that whatever is causing all this turmoil goes away and lets the good days come back so that life is a lot more enjoyable. god dammit, why the fuck does life have to be so fucking rediculous and so full of shit that is so fucking unneccesary, i just really dont fucking understand it, if you cannot tell i am pissed right now, and sad,

sometimes i just wish i could run away and start a new life over where nobody knows me, a place that i could reinvent myself, there are a few things that i would bring a long with me, a few things, a few people, but other then that, nothing would follow me, fuck it, i dunno what else to write, im going to bed...............