What would you do with eternity?
So I'm sitting here watching Groundhog Day (great flick, you should check it out.) and I started thinking. What would I do if I were in Phil's position? If I had no consequences, no tomorrow, nothing I did would effect anything, what would I do?
First, I started thinking about simple things. Physical things. I'd committ some crimes. Big crimes, like robbing a bank or grand theft auto, just to see how it feels. I'd get really drunk, to see how that feels. I'd have sex, to see how that feels. I'd try every thing I've never tried (maybe even drugs?) just because I haven't tried them. Especially the bad things that I never will really do, like the crimes and drugs and stuff. I'd do all those things that we secretly wonder how it would feel to be doing them. I'd intentionally crash my car into another one. I'd shoplift. I'd do all the things that good people don't do, that I'll never do.
Then I started thinking about deeper things. Emotional things. Like, I'd tell the guys I'm crushing on that I like them.
I'd tell the guy that I have a huge crush on how I feel about him, that I like him more than I've ever liked anyone in my life. That I can't stop thinking about him, and that I'd do anything to be with him. That I cherish the time we spend together now and that I long to be more than friends.
I'd tell my best friends about the things that concern me about them. About the things that worry me with us. I'd also tell them that I value them more than they know, and that I hope this lasts forever. I'd tell them my fears about the future. I'd tell them all the things I haven't yet found the courage to say.
I'd tell my mom how she has hurt me. I'd tell her about how because of her drug addiction, I didn't get to finish my childhood. I'd tell her about how I can't be normal. How, in the wonderful words of Art Alexis, "I can never be safe, I can never be sane. I will always be weird inside, I will always be lame." I'd tell her that I can't get through a day without thinking about what she's done and worrying about how things will be for me now. How I will ever get through a life with her in it.
I'd tell my sister how much I really love her. I'd tell her I know I'm mean sometimes but that really, I care about her more than she will ever know. I'd tell her that she is the most important person in my life, and that I will always try to help her. That I won't let mom ruin her like she ruined me.
I'd tell everyone in my life what I really think about them. How I really feel about them. I'd tell the people I don't like what I don't like about them. I'd tell my friends what I do like about them and that I appreciate them so much. I'd tell everyone all the things that I can't tell them.
That's what I'd do with eternity.
First, I started thinking about simple things. Physical things. I'd committ some crimes. Big crimes, like robbing a bank or grand theft auto, just to see how it feels. I'd get really drunk, to see how that feels. I'd have sex, to see how that feels. I'd try every thing I've never tried (maybe even drugs?) just because I haven't tried them. Especially the bad things that I never will really do, like the crimes and drugs and stuff. I'd do all those things that we secretly wonder how it would feel to be doing them. I'd intentionally crash my car into another one. I'd shoplift. I'd do all the things that good people don't do, that I'll never do.
Then I started thinking about deeper things. Emotional things. Like, I'd tell the guys I'm crushing on that I like them.
I'd tell the guy that I have a huge crush on how I feel about him, that I like him more than I've ever liked anyone in my life. That I can't stop thinking about him, and that I'd do anything to be with him. That I cherish the time we spend together now and that I long to be more than friends.
I'd tell my best friends about the things that concern me about them. About the things that worry me with us. I'd also tell them that I value them more than they know, and that I hope this lasts forever. I'd tell them my fears about the future. I'd tell them all the things I haven't yet found the courage to say.
I'd tell my mom how she has hurt me. I'd tell her about how because of her drug addiction, I didn't get to finish my childhood. I'd tell her about how I can't be normal. How, in the wonderful words of Art Alexis, "I can never be safe, I can never be sane. I will always be weird inside, I will always be lame." I'd tell her that I can't get through a day without thinking about what she's done and worrying about how things will be for me now. How I will ever get through a life with her in it.
I'd tell my sister how much I really love her. I'd tell her I know I'm mean sometimes but that really, I care about her more than she will ever know. I'd tell her that she is the most important person in my life, and that I will always try to help her. That I won't let mom ruin her like she ruined me.
I'd tell everyone in my life what I really think about them. How I really feel about them. I'd tell the people I don't like what I don't like about them. I'd tell my friends what I do like about them and that I appreciate them so much. I'd tell everyone all the things that I can't tell them.
That's what I'd do with eternity.