Blimey!

[deranged_gofer]

Fred, I just e-mailed our book-keeper at Gringotts and it turns out that we're, well, mighty rich.

What do you want to do with all this gold? I was thinking a round-trip to Germany and a swimming pool.

Comments

[deranged_gofer]

George, don't you think that, perhaps, we could try somewhere other than Germany? France, perhaps. After all, we aren't just rich. We're very handsome too, you know, or at least I am.

We'd be such a hit with the French, don't you think?

[deranged_gofer]

The only thing I don't like about France is ..or rather, are the French. Do you know the lingo? Germans are much more open as people. Certainly not as attractive as we are as far as looks go but well, not everyone is a winner in this game we call life.

Why do we need to be a hit in France? Japan on the other hand...

Anyways, I'm thinking we should focus on the business that has given us so much fame and money. And give some to the good folks at home from whom we've received such excellent genes.

Unless dad's wanting to record a rap album. In Muggle Studies class I learned you can get shot if you do that so we should definitely not sponsor that.

Do we really need a holiday?

[deranged_gofer]

Well, it would be ideal if we could be a hit with everyone. But, specifically, France is a central hub for all that is stylish and vogue. Though, you're right, I suppose we don't need any help with our style. Perhaps the travelling could be for... research? After all, we don't want to appear cocky about our success.

And George, I like the way you're thinking. You've really started to come around and, really, if we're together in this business, we could be just unstoppable.

I can actually say I'm no longer ashamed to call you my brother.

[deranged_gofer]

Thank you, brother. Now, if I could convince you out of those damned suits...

[deranged_gofer]

Uhm. That came out wrong.

Anyway, I was saying, I think we should probably open a shop somewhere. Any ideas?

[deranged_gofer]

Er.

Well, we'll want a fairly central location. Some place that attracts a good amount of traffic. I don't know about you but if we can find a place in Diagon Alley, that might be quite ideal. Or Hogsmeade? I think we're rich enough to be able to afford any sort of place, actually.

[deranged_gofer]

Even our own island?

...Uhm, I mean, Diagon Alley, business capital of the British wizarding world. That makes sense.

[deranged_gofer]

George, what on earth would we do with an island?

Right. Now, how does one go about purchasing space for a business on Diagon Alley? Of course, money won't be an issue, but I'm sure there's some proper etiquette to it. I will look in my businessman's guide and see if there's anything listed.

[deranged_gofer]

Businessman's guide? Oh, come on! We're professional pranksters! We don't need etiquette because we have charm! We can talk people into giving us a place half-free.

Who doesn't want an island, Fred? Can't a man have dreams?

[deranged_gofer]

Right. Right. Maybe I should get rid of the book.

You can have your dreams of owning an island and I'll have dreams of less ridiculous things.

[waitingfortom]

Sip piña coladas and sell to passing boats and tourists?

If we can sort out an owling schedule, you could send packages to me here at school (NO PAPER IN THEM PLEASE) to sell during the school year. It's always nice to actually view the product instead of relying on catalogue pictures and hoping that the owl doesn't damage it mid-flight. I could set up a cute little booth in the common room and show off products at meal times, too.

I did very well for myself just selling out of my dormitory and my bedroom at home, so I can just imagine the profits from an actual storefront!

[deranged_gofer]

Oh, that is a splendid idea. You could act as our contact within Hogwarts, and help us with public relations. The reaction there could help us gauge overall customer interest and satisfaction.

As long as the professors don't mind - but they shouldn't. A business venture is never something that could be accused of interrupting school.

[waitingfortom]

Absolutely! It won't reflect on adult customers, of course, but it's so much easier gauging things here than tracking down customers all over.

I'll give you advance warning if I get too busy with revising revising revising to really work the sales, because then you'd need to handle owling people their orders yourselves instead of them getting things directly through me. I wouldn't want someone to steal any merchandise because I was too absorbed in getting ready for exams.

Perhaps we can draw some extra interest with Hogwarts exclusives? Adds a little rarity, you know.

If you do find a good location in Diagon Alley, we should definitely consider a back-to-school sale when it's time to pick up textbooks. Not a steep discount, mind you, but a few sickles off here and there and we sell more without a really noticeable dip in profits, right?

Oh, if the professors mind, it's really not that hard to hide things and tell bald-faced lies. Maybe George has too innocent of a face for it but I don't.

[albuspresley]

Perhaps you might have more success with hiding things and telling bald-faced lies, Miss Weasley, if you did not advertise your intentions so clearly in front of those you wish to hide things from and tell bald-faced lies to.

[waitingfortom]

I haven't had to yet, Professor Dumbledore, but thank you for the advice. There's always room to learn.

[albuspresley]

There is always room to learn, this is certainly true. For example, were you aware that the Ministry order empowering the Hogwarts Inquisitor and his or her deputies to search packages bound for students with or without cause, and overriding any Hogwarts bylaws to the contrary, is still in effect and grants to the office of the Headmaster that same power?