(Untitled)

[deranged_gofer]

Please help me!

I'm trapped in the hall coat closet with the King of France!

-Eric

Comments

[drunkirishdude]

so tell me George I mean Eric... are you allergice to anything??? Medications... certain types of alcohol... poison?? Just for curiosity's sake of course!!

[deranged_gofer]

I don't think so. Will you help me? There is a spider in here that keeps trying to get friendly with my leg.

[drunkirishdude]

Damn.

Uh I mean... a spider eh?? hmm is it lethal you think??

[nothisbitch]

It's no wonder you weren't placed in Slytherin, Finnegan. You have all the subtlety of a pipe bomb.

[deranged_gofer]

He has a pipe bomb!?

Keep him out of my damn closet then-

actually, leave the bomb in front of the door please.

[nothisbitch]

You have no appreciation for metaphors.

[deranged_gofer]

The spider just crawled up my trouser leg! Agghhh!

[drunkirishdude]

Pipe bomb?? Do you know where I could find one of those?!

[deranged_gofer]

I thought you had one.

The spider is now buidling a web behind my knee in my right trouser leg.

This is extremely distressing.

[deranged_gofer]

I don't think so. Though it is reciting "The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" - that might kill me.

[drunkirishdude]

will poetry in general kill you or just this one???

[deranged_gofer]

It isn't the poetry so mush as the fact that it is being recited by a spider. Spiders don't normally speak English do they?

[drunkirishdude]

"No like spiders who speak ze English." Gotcha.

[deranged_gofer]

So, um. Will you help me please?

I'm worried it is going to lay its eggs behind my knee.

[drunkirishdude]

you know I heard that a chimaera would take right good care of eggs-behind-the-knee syndrome. Yeah why don't you go find one?? Right now!!

[deranged_gofer]

Really? Hurry!