(no subject)
life for once it seems is going rather okay. there are no "large" feelings of inadequecy or abandonment. im not pissed off for one reason or another and thusly i havenot written in forever. however there is still the perpetual feeling that i am not wanted. but that is a feeling that i have grown to live with, it is in every aspect of my being and day to day life. i come to school and have people i care about but am not sure they return the feelings, i still hang out with them and feel like they put up with me and my stupid little quirks. i return to my house and my mother makes me feel like i am not good enough to be her daugter and that somehow i am a continuous dissapointment in her life. when i go hang out with my friends after school it is the same feeling of being pur up with and not truly accepted. the only time that i feel that i truly belong is when i am alone with nathan, i feel like i can truly be myself without the fear of rejection or fearing that people will hate me for what i am.
i know that it may seem like i am just being a whinner and i know that no one will take the time to read this but i would just like to know one thing. how many people actually read this thing and how many of you actually care about me. thats actually two things but they are questions that haunt my being
i know that it may seem like i am just being a whinner and i know that no one will take the time to read this but i would just like to know one thing. how many people actually read this thing and how many of you actually care about me. thats actually two things but they are questions that haunt my being