Comments | der_umgekehrte: 16 - All hands

der_umgekehrte

16 - All hands

Dec 26, 2011 13:41

I'm not good with children. They aren't a thing I have much to do with. I hope there're unaffected folk who are better at it?

[Filtered to Stildyne's regulars-- not even his friends, strictly, but expanded out to people he talks to]

Report in if you can-- who's younger, who's all right, who remembers where they are.

flood:ugly sweaters and little feet, ugliest mother hen alive, actually a public post, mommy needs a valium

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[Filter] timesbureaucrat December 27 2011, 06:46:47 UTC

[Serious Time-Tot talking to an adult is serious. Also, he thinks everyone here are Gallifreyans.]

Narvinektralonum reporting in, sir, and still the same age. [Or so he thinks...]

Has there been a time distortion, sir?

[Filter] der_umgekehrte December 27 2011, 06:50:30 UTC

[If Stildyne invoked gods the 'oh my god' would have been involuntary. As it is, have a look of horror.]

Narvinektralonum. [All right. File that away. People have more difficult names.]

There's been, ah- [how would they put it] a localized time distortion. How old are you usually?

[Filter] timesbureaucrat December 27 2011, 07:00:36 UTC

[He looks worried. He knows enough temporal theory to understand that that's potentially very bad.]

Today I'm seven and eight months and five days. Unless it isn't really today anymore right here. Is it?

[Filter] der_umgekehrte December 27 2011, 07:01:42 UTC

I-- don't think it is. For you. Precisely. Do you know my name?

[Filter] timesbureaucrat December 27 2011, 07:07:42 UTC

No, sir. But you look like you might be a House guard. Are you from the future? I don't want to make a paradox, I don't want to destroy Gallifrey!

[He's read too many books about the Dire Things that can happen when people mess with time (A Gallifreyan's First Lesson on Temporal Disasters), and is half convinced he might inadvertently destroy a large chunk of the universe if he says or does the wrong thing. No one has ever bothered to tell him that disasters like that are not common.]

[Filter] der_umgekehrte December 27 2011, 07:10:41 UTC

[Barge. Full of small people. Oh, his headache. It's starting right behind the left eye.]

I'm not a house guard, as it happens. I'm a Type 1 hominid. You'd call that a human. My name's Chief Stildyne. This barge you're on. It's...

Outside of time. I don't think you can manage paradox here.

[Filter] timesbureaucrat December 27 2011, 07:14:58 UTC

You're an...alien? [He's torn between being afraid, disgusted, and terribly terribly curious. Curiosity wins out. (Because Gallifreyan or not, he's a 7 year old boy. Scary and disgusting things are REALLY REALLY COOL.]

Do you really eat plants and animals?

[Filter] der_umgekehrte December 27 2011, 07:16:55 UTC

Well, for most of my life I ate ship rations. You can't tell, but I've got an assurance they were plants and animals once.

[Perhaps this humor will be lost on the small child.]

It's my native diet though, yes.

[Filter] timesbureaucrat December 27 2011, 07:21:41 UTC

[He wrinkles his nose.]

Ew, gross! [He's clearly enthralled.]

And is it true that humans don't loom children, that they grow inside people like alien parasites?

[Filter] der_umgekehrte December 27 2011, 07:23:11 UTC

Also true. You've got us there.

[All right, small Narvin. You amuse him.

...although he's horrified by the notion that Brax is tiny out there somewhere. How can he warden a child he'll be to blame if he gets hurt.]

[Filter] timesbureaucrat December 27 2011, 07:57:26 UTC

The way you make babies is really disgusting. [Said with all the intellectual authority a seven year old can muster.]

[Filter] der_umgekehrte December 27 2011, 07:58:28 UTC

Yes, well, you can assure yourself that I've never taken part in the process. [The corner of his mouth twitches.]

[Filter] timesbureaucrat December 27 2011, 08:12:42 UTC

Oh. Good. [He nods firmly, glad that Stildyne has never had a parasite in him (and rather ignorant about other parts of the process as yet).]

[Filter] der_umgekehrte December 27 2011, 08:14:23 UTC

So, Narvin. Is there-- another young person in your quarters?

[Please let K be full sized, he means. Please. He wishes it vehemently.]

[Filter] timesbureaucrat December 27 2011, 08:18:19 UTC

No. But I'm not sure they're my quarters. They look a bit strange, not at all like my room at home. [Earth aesthetic, but Narvin doesn't know enough to recognize that.] Although the Sepulchasm game was here with my name on it. Are they my temporary quarters?

[Filter] der_umgekehrte December 27 2011, 08:19:58 UTC

Yes, those look like them. I've seen them in previous communications with your elder-self. There's another gentleman who generally lives there.

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