(no subject)
It's Saturday. I was suppose to see JT today. We were supposed to hang out. He was supposed to call me. We'd talked about it. A few times. He moved to Eden Prarie yestereday and had a party that I didn't go to. I didn't go because I didn't want to be around so many people that I didn't know. He was supposed to call me between 9 and 2. He never called. I've looked at my phone twice. Just to make sure that maybe he hasn't called and I've missed it. No, he hasn't called at all. He is the only person right now that can make me wait. And I'm waiting. And I hate it. I'm at Jenny's. Waiting. Why am I waiting. Can anyone tell me why I'm waiting? I hate this. I hate than he can do this to me. I hate him. So much. And yet I'm still waiting for him to call me. I've been invited to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Jenny and Mike and I'm fucking waiting for JT to call! Because no matter how mad I am or upset or feel like I want to cry, I still want him to call and say he's sorry and that he was asleep or something like that but that he really wants to see me tonight and would I please come over. My phone just rang. And it was Nick. And my heart stopped when I heard it ring. Something is very wrong with me. I wish someone was out there who cared enough about me to call me and tell me he wants to see me. I just wish that someone was JT. This post isn't making any sense at all. I'm sorry. But it's mine and I rarely make any sense anyway. So now Nick is coming over and if JT does call I think I'm probably going to have to tell him that I can't see him. What if he gets mad at me or something? Why am I like this? I'm tired. I want to sleep. Forever.