Drizzles
I had a dream that my stupid fathead cousin had this wicked hot wife. In the dream her name was Ashlee, but she was really Kate Bosworth. I knew that she was, too, so it made me more pissed off at him for being an ugly retard and having this totally bangin' wife.
Then I went up to him, and I was all like "you need to be a lot nicer to everyone. I know you have a lot of money, but you need to just cool it and stop being rude to people"
Fathead: "I don't know what you're talking about."
Me: "Listen, just chill man. Be a little nicer, and if you are, I won't screw your wife."
Fathead: "What?! No. You're sick. What makes you think she would want anything to do with you, anyway? You can't do it like a man, and you can't get her pregnant." (This was a weird thing for him to say, but not unrealistic, if you consider the true weirdness of my cousin).
Me: "Yeah exactly, those are the same reasons she gave me for wanting it."
In reality I knew at that point that I was not actually doing Kate Bosworth, and I wouldn't anytime soon, but my cousin should have thought of how jealous and suspicious he would always be with having a hot wife.
Then I went up to him, and I was all like "you need to be a lot nicer to everyone. I know you have a lot of money, but you need to just cool it and stop being rude to people"
Fathead: "I don't know what you're talking about."
Me: "Listen, just chill man. Be a little nicer, and if you are, I won't screw your wife."
Fathead: "What?! No. You're sick. What makes you think she would want anything to do with you, anyway? You can't do it like a man, and you can't get her pregnant." (This was a weird thing for him to say, but not unrealistic, if you consider the true weirdness of my cousin).
Me: "Yeah exactly, those are the same reasons she gave me for wanting it."
In reality I knew at that point that I was not actually doing Kate Bosworth, and I wouldn't anytime soon, but my cousin should have thought of how jealous and suspicious he would always be with having a hot wife.