VM should die with dignity
ETA:
I'm re-opening this post because a lot of people linked to it, but I edited out anything that might get anyone in trouble. My basic understanding (and I'm not 100% on this) is that *everyone* from the show, with the exception of KB, has been let go already. It's not just EC and JD. There is no possibility of the show coming back with a second season at Hearst. Essentially, what Kristen Veitch has said so far is pretty accurate, but she got in a little hot water for coming out with it the way she did, since the network doesn't want the news out there yet (obviously, since fans are jumping ship right and left). People are so mean to poor Wrongda. (Today I know how she feels, but that's what I get for underestimating the power of the internets.)
And now back to our regularly-scheduled programming:
Just when you think you’ve safely disembarked from the House of Horrors ride that Veronica Mars has become, it pulls you back in. I want to let go, people. I really do. But it just won’t die, and its unending death throes have become too offensive to ignore.
I was elated when
ww1614emailed me Thursday night to tell me that the show had been cancelled. It seemed like The CW had finally come to their senses, pulling the plug on a show that had never had anything to offer ratings-wise and no longer maintained the quality that once justified its continued existence.
Like many of you who hated seeing something you loved go so far downhill and were glad to see an end to the slide (or just love some good old-fashioned schadenfreude), I went online to watch the remaining fandom implode. But instead of the garment-rending I expect, I find people insisting that the cancellation is a baseless rumor. I am frightened. I start biting my nails again (Bastards!). Then good old Kristen Veitch reverses herself and says that word of cancellation is premature; the show may just be undergoing a creative overhaul (I use the term “creative” loosely here). I make peanut butter Rice Krispie bars to eat through the pain.
But my Rice Krispie bars turn out badly (if you cook the marshmallow crap too long, they get really hard), and as things just get messier, I decide that what I really need is to be proactive. I am able to get independent confirmation of what KV posts next: that the season 4 proposal/trailer will be shot with Kristen Bell only, no other castmembers participating. It will be four years later, with Veronica a full-fledged FBI agent. The picture is now clear, and it is ugly.
1. Rob Thomas wants to get rid of all of the likeable/interesting characters on VM and keep only the big bitch herself, Veronica. Kind of offensive, but since I already planned to quit watching, this choice (longshot though it is) just makes the decision easier.
2. Rob Thomas wants to get rid of Jason Dohring. OK, this part pisses me off more than a little bit. I’m not going to get into ‘shipper issues, except to say that I truly believe that RT never had any real interest in L/V as a couple beyond the plot points it facilitated in S1. But Logan is the main reason, or the only reason, that many people still watch this show. I can understand dumping Enrico - I honestly don’t think they had a choice, since he eats up half the cast budget while becoming less important in Veronica’s life post-high school. But Jason Dohring is not expensive; he works his ass off as an actor; the fans love him, and he has worked tirelessly to promote the show, going to every single CW mall event they’d let him show up for, as well as numerous other fan events. What has he done to deserve this? Who treats their actors this way? Rob isn’t just an idiot; he’s an asshole.
3. Rob Thomas has Veronica becoming an FBI agent… in four years. I will address the latter part of that statement by simply stating that this would be impossible. I will address the former part of the statement by stating that this is both impossible and OFFENSIVE to anyone who has any respect for law enforcement or who has ever had any interest in the FBI.
Veronica would never get into the FBI, nor should she. She’s a criminal, and not just the vigilante justice type (and even it were just vigilantism, that’d be bad enough. Batman is a great crimefighter, but I wouldn’t recommend him for the FBI). She’s more of the “I’m pissed at you, so I’m going to commit Grand Theft Auto just so I can destroy something that you love” type. She has no respect for the law. She never has, because that’s not what it’s all about for her. Justice for her is all about what makes her feel good. She went after Lilly’s killer because she loved Lilly, because Lilly was awesome and didn’t deserve to die. Veronica didn’t care what laws she had to break to find the killer. The FBI is about going after people because they broke the law, and the laws broken are most often boring and impersonal, like tax fraud. And FBI agents always follow the law as they enforce the law. That’s their whole culture. They’re not like cops, where there’s a wide variety of personality, where there’s internal conflict and corruption. How often do you hear about corrupt FBI agents? The only problems with the FBI are the ones that happen at the very top, like the recent wire tapping violations. The politicians were responsible for that; the rank and file stay in line. The X-Files painted Fox Mulder as a rogue agent, but TPTB assigned Agent Scully to keep him in line, and that was a show about aliens, so some suspension of disbelief was expected from the get-go. Crime shows in general are not about suspension of disbelief, because most people have a basic understanding of the law (which is itself required by law, which is one of the reasons education is compulsory in the USA), and they expect to see it applied. When Sam Waterston is struggling to crack a witness on Law & Order, you want to see him back the guy into a logical corner. You don’t want to see him suddenly invent a nonexistent point of law that allows him to force the witness to give up the information. That’s not suspension of disbelief; that’s writers being lazy. (And if I were to suspend my disbelief high enough to swallow this crap, I would need the space elevator.) Rob Thomas has admitted he can’t be bothered to learn the law and would rather just make it up as he goes along. (“The system is corrupt, see? It all makes sense because the system is corrupt!”)
What offends me the most is the idea that the FBI would accept someone who’s a suspect in a federal case, or any case, for that matter. Even if somehow during the four years of the time jump that case is closed, why would they take the risk? Why would they go near someone who’s been arrested as many times as she has? The FBI is an elite organization. They can afford to take only the cleanest of the clean.
I tried to apply to the FBI once, and I was the very definition of clean: small-town midwestern Girl Scout who grew up hunting and fishing and spending much of her time doing volunteer work at the local nursing home and hospital (I logged over 200 hours of community service each year during high school). Graduated magna cum laude from Harvard in a study area that was of particular interest to the FBI, plus I was contemplating law school. I had never committed anything even resembling a crime. Never cheated, never got a speeding ticket, never smoked pot or even went anywhere near it. I was so perfect, I made Mary Sue look like Courtney Love.
I went to Washington, got a tour of the FBI headquarters, and met with a recruiter. It took him less than five minutes to determine that I shouldn’t even bother applying to the academy. The reason? My brother had been convicted on a federal drug charge, having crossed state lines with a salable amount of marijuana. He never did time, just paid a fine and walked away, but it was enough to disqualify me from the FBI. When I told other people about my experience at the Bureau, I heard a lot of similar stories. One guy was rejected because his grandfather was a suspected Communist back in the 1950s, back when the FBI opened a file on every suspected pinko. I eventually realized that if the FBI has a file on anyone related to you, you’re out. Yet Rob Thomas would have us believe that the FBI would take Veronica, even when they have a file on HER. Does he think they’re not going to notice that? Even if she’d been exonerated it wouldn’t matter. She’s associated with enough crimes and criminals that it’d be all over before they were even 5% into the background check. They check out everyone you’ve ever met - friends, family, neighbors. They’d find out about her association with Weevil.
This whole thing is such a joke, I’d like to imagine that it’s just an elaborate set-up for an April Fool’s reveal. But sadly, it’s really about Rob’s complete lack of respect for the law and for the institutions that seek to enforce it. In his mind, Veronica would fit in perfectly at the FBI. She’s all about fighting crime! (When she’s not committing it…)
I can’t imagine that the CW is actually desperate enough to go for this idea. I really think that the show has already been cancelled, and this is just a last-ditch effort to come up with something else they might be willing to take in the event that the pilots suck and there are too many holes in the fall schedule to fill with reruns of America’s Next Top Model (though reruns of the Pussycat Dolls also do better than first-run VM eps).
But just in case, we need to email Dawn Ostroff and all the other decision makers to let them know how we feel about this decimation of what was once a great show. VM should be allowed to die with what dignity it has left, not turn into this offensive farce.
And so I invite you all to check out our new community for promoting the cancellation of Veronica Mars:
grave_watchers
We just opened up shop but will be posting information on the campaign very soon. Come on, Mars fans! This horse is suffering; let’s put her down.