*le sigh*
Now, I'll be the first to admit that my fuse has been a little bit shorter lately. I am quick to anger these days and it's really the smallest things that set me off.
I'm stressed out with work and it's transferring to other places in my life. I'm frustrated with the state of my life at the moment. Granted I have more than what someone my age normally has, but in my eyes it's not.
I've got a house, great. I've still got my car, great. I've got a good job that affords me a comfortable existence, great. I still feel like I'm missing out on lots of things.
Some of my best friends always tell me "You're missing out because you never go out!" I don't feel like I should be at the bar/club drinking Wednesday through Saturday night / Sunday morning. That's not productive to me. Subsisting on alcohol, sunlight, air, and strobe lights does not compute with my brain OR my body.
I'm just so frustrated right now, I'm literally on the verge of tears. I'm sick of EVERYTHING in my life. I want to pick up and just move somewhere else and start over. At this point in my life though, that's not responsible or productive and I think those are two things I do really well.
I am simply writing this to try to get some inkling of these feelings out, but by no means do I want people to feel sorry for me, ask what's wrong, or say "Call me if you want to talk". I don't want to hear that right now, it's just going to make things worse. I'm going to feel and think you're being annoying and nosy and should butt out. Seriously though, isn't that fucked up? I'm writing this and when you question me about it I'm going to get angry at you for wanting to know and trying to help.
I don't know what's going on in my head right now, it's going miles a minute and running off on tangents where I KNOW I shouldn't be, because those areas aren't good places. Now I'm not saying I'm thinking about hurting myself or anything, so don't freak out! It's just thoughts that aren't nice or productive.
I'm extremely sensitive at the moment and can't handle a lot before I start to crumble. I need to find something to get me past this.
I'm stressed out with work and it's transferring to other places in my life. I'm frustrated with the state of my life at the moment. Granted I have more than what someone my age normally has, but in my eyes it's not.
I've got a house, great. I've still got my car, great. I've got a good job that affords me a comfortable existence, great. I still feel like I'm missing out on lots of things.
Some of my best friends always tell me "You're missing out because you never go out!" I don't feel like I should be at the bar/club drinking Wednesday through Saturday night / Sunday morning. That's not productive to me. Subsisting on alcohol, sunlight, air, and strobe lights does not compute with my brain OR my body.
I'm just so frustrated right now, I'm literally on the verge of tears. I'm sick of EVERYTHING in my life. I want to pick up and just move somewhere else and start over. At this point in my life though, that's not responsible or productive and I think those are two things I do really well.
I am simply writing this to try to get some inkling of these feelings out, but by no means do I want people to feel sorry for me, ask what's wrong, or say "Call me if you want to talk". I don't want to hear that right now, it's just going to make things worse. I'm going to feel and think you're being annoying and nosy and should butt out. Seriously though, isn't that fucked up? I'm writing this and when you question me about it I'm going to get angry at you for wanting to know and trying to help.
I don't know what's going on in my head right now, it's going miles a minute and running off on tangents where I KNOW I shouldn't be, because those areas aren't good places. Now I'm not saying I'm thinking about hurting myself or anything, so don't freak out! It's just thoughts that aren't nice or productive.
I'm extremely sensitive at the moment and can't handle a lot before I start to crumble. I need to find something to get me past this.