Fic: Kiss You Later (OTH)
Title: Kiss You Later
Pairing/Character: Nathan/Brooke; Lucas/Brooke, Nathan/Haley, Lucas/Peyton
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for all episodes.
Disclaimer: Not mine. ;/
Rating: M
Summary: She had everything she ever wanted, and in a single breath, she ran away. Back home, after two weeks of M.I.A., Brooke's homeless, heartbroken, and destroyed. In search of a place to live, Brooke finds an unlikely companion in a lonely Nathan, and a spare couch in his once-filled with light apartment. (Futurefic.)
Notes: (Cross-posted at a kick-ass forum and here @ bluesunsets.)
I've planned on doing a chaptered Brathan, since they just won't leave me alone to concerntrate on a possible Brucas, or even a Naley. And my muse for one-shots has kind of gone off. I'm abandoned, alone and I have this Brathan sitting on my computer, just waiting to be formed. So, hopefully for all you Brathan, Brooke, and Nathan fans out there, this story might give you some Brathan love.
BEWARE: Naley and Leyton will be an undertone. Sad, I know.
All you need to know about the characters is that this is set four years in the future, making Brooke and the gang roughly 22. I'm not sure how old they are in the series, but considering they're seniors, I'm guessing they're roughly 18. (And since Rachel was 17 in the Season Three Finale, thank you Hot Uncle Cooper for telling me this). It is set in the future so I don't have to go by any One Tree Hill guidelines (a.k.a episodes), and since I can muck around with it. It's free-er, and hopefully more entertaining than your average episodic altered fic that I could ever write.
Note: Brooke and Peyton mended their broken friendship (again) and Brooke and Lucas gave it another shot (again), and Haley went off for her music career after the Season Three Finale - somewhere after that - and I know I ruined that whole shocking surprise but who knows, maybe Haley could've lied? Hmmm . . . Season Four doesn't exist in my world. Or on my TV. So, some things I know have happened, and some things I don't . . . so be nice. Please? :p
This will also be slightly - if not, surprisingly - AU to One Tree Hill, and to some of the things that have happened. I won't tell you anything, for fear that it's either happened (in the new season) and/or because I want it to be a surprise. Some things may have happened in One Tree Hill may be used in here - to basically develop our Brathan and their story - but most likely they've been altered to fit our - more like my - Brathan lust. Some things may seem familiar, because I can't think of anything creative. ;/
I've tried keeping everyone in character as much as possible. Any suggestions, guesses and feedback is welcome! I've planned most of this out - and still am planning - and I guess there will be angst, since I am into the whole "I-like-you-but-I-won't-tell-you-therefore-forming-ST". Therefore, this may be a long story. I just hope you’re all in for the ride. ;)
Also, some words may be spelt in the Australian way. I've only changed "mum" to "mom" for the hell of it. :p
Anyway. Enjoy. :)
Lyrics: Evermore - "Running".
-
01. Runaway Cheery.
step away, turn around
let my feet hit the ground
. . . running, running, running, running . . .
She remembers the clock ticking in sync with her heart. Quickly, nervously, rushing.
The body-length mirror reflected her pure presence, the white fabric shining in a way that made the room somewhat brighter, and her aura somehow more innocent than it actually was. Everything seemed perfect, at the time she had been thinking so too, but the person she saw reflected on the glass was not the girl she'd pictured in her many fantasies, and the dreams she'd smiled to while she slept, as they lead her through the days coming up to the big event.
She remembers the frown she wore, the dress was doing no justice to her mood, and her heart wasn't thumping violently in her chest, ready to burst due to the mere thought of becoming Mrs Lucas Scott. It may have been nerves, but for the first time in four years, she's realised what has been right in front of her all this time.
It wasn't meant to be. It never was.
It was doomed from the start, and as the tears slowly caressed her face, dragging her black mascara down with it, she finally realised she wouldn't have a happy ending. It wasn't going to be happy, anyway. With all the deception, lies and the history. How could she forget the history? Her maid-of-honour and her fiancée had a past - a rather messy past that was full of want, need, love.
Everything else is blank, she refuses to remember, and her memory skips to where she's running - not literally, but in a sense she is - and she gets into the limo - she refused a horse and carriage, since the memories of a bridge, a crash and another fairytale marriage gone haywire still burns in their memories - and she escaped.
She ran from her prince. She ran from the evil witch. She ran from it all.
She was a coward, and she was happy with that. But now? She's realised her mistake. She's a risk taker, always has been and always will be, and she ran from something that requires risk, not just because of who was in the wedding, or who she is, but because marriage itself is a risk.
That's why she's here, in California. She's not here to get comfort from her parents - hell, they didn't even know their daughter was even getting married - but for an escape. No one would bother travelling this far to get to her, and she knew two weeks ago, that he'll be gone with her.
Goddamn Goldilocks always got everything.
The dress still fit her perfectly, just like it had that warm afternoon, and she quickly tears herself out of it, the memories still stinging, and she knows she isn't ready to take that bandaid off quite yet.
She folds up the white material, and quickly dresses into a pair of jeans and a white tank top. Pulling her hair into a high ponytail, she stares into the mirror and lets her hands drop to her sides, and with a sigh, she quietly encourages herself. "It's time to go home, Brooke Davis."
-
The airport is busy, and Brooke finds comfort in this. Everyone is bustling around, minding their own business, and she doesn't recognise a single face. Releasing a breath, she pulls her bag along with her, making her way to the exit. She stops quickly, eyeing the doors uneasily, and knows if she steps over this boundary, that she's in Tree Hill. She can't escape the looks, the whispers, the questions that are bound to be asked by some of the people she knows.
Karen. Brooke knows she's disappointed her, as her face flickers in her mind, the shock, the anger, the hurt. She shakes her head, ridding the image of Karen's upset face, and takes a deep breath before she sets foot outside the safety of the airport.
There's no place like home.
She takes a cab, and she's already on her way to a place she's rather familiar with. It feels like decades have gone by as she sits in the cab, her head resting on the window as she sees everything whip past her. It feels like life itself, her relationship with Lucas, has gone as quick as the speed of light. Nostalgic from her sudden loss, Brooke's grateful for when the cab pulls over at one of her favourite places.
Karen's Café. She reads the sign affectionately as she gets out, tosses some cash at the cabbie, and grabs her suitcase from the back. As the car drives off, Brooke is caught standing there, looking through the window. She sees Karen wiping the counter, her eyes focussed at the task at hand, and she looks up - Brooke's begging her to - and once she spots Brooke outside the window, Brooke isn't so sure she wanted Karen to see her. At least, not while the wounds were fresh.
Karen's eyes are wide, and from where Brooke's standing, they look almost blank. As dark as the first night she spent that was meant to be her wedding night. Alone, cold, and stuck in a reasonably expensive hotel room in California. She shivers as she's thrown out of the memory abruptly, and the eye contact hasn't broken.
Brooke's the first to break it, though, looking down at her feet. When she looks up again, Karen's blinking in her direction, possibly wondering why on earth Brooke is in Tree Hill. Without thinking - or even feeling - Brooke's moving towards the door. The chime above her rings as she opens it, and she drags her bag behind her, leaving it near a table close to the exit just in case Karen decides to throw mugs at her.
She doubts it, though, but the nightmares really did frighten her.
Karen's wiping a mug with a cloth as Brooke approaches the counter. She watches her, almost like a hawk watching it's prey, and when Brooke sits down on the edge of her stool, it's the first time she's noticed she's shaking. Karen doesn't hate her, right? Karen approaches Brooke, she's still behind the counter, and doesn't even smile. Brooke misses her motherly smile, it sent warmth right through her, a warmth she had been neglected from all her life.
She shifts in her stool, and almost topples over as Karen's icy voice dully says, "Brooke." It's not a question, or a sign of astonishment that her should-have-been-daughter-in-law is actually alive and well. Brooke winces as Karen's eyes penetrate hers, burning holes into her own, and Brooke looks down at the counter where her hands have managed to rest.
She summons up her courage, and looks up at Karen, "Hi."
Karen still looks at Brooke, making her feel naked and exposed. So this is how it's going to be? She walks away from a marriage that would never have brought happiness, and she's getting punished for it? The one mature move Brooke's ever made in her life, and it has come down to isolation from even someone she thought of as a mother? The tears started to well up in her eyes, and as she looks at Karen, the further they push to escape.
A tear quickly slides down her cheek, another following its lead, and another after that. Leaning her elbows on the counter, Brooke places her head slowly into her hands, whimpering and crying harder than she's ever done since her failed wedding night. "Oh Brooke," she vaguely hears as Karen places the mug down on the counter, and hurriedly walks over towards her. The feel of warmth across her shoulders and smooth circles near the back of her neck brings Brooke to realise Karen is there, soothing her and not cruelly laughing at her.
She's calmer now, after minutes of soothing and shushing, and Brooke knows Karen will always be her ideal mom. "Do you have any place to stay?" Karen asks as she sits on a stool beside Brooke, her motherly voice makes Brooke feel safer than she has in weeks.
Brooke can't muster up words, and shakes her head instead. Karen sighs with a small nod, and says, "You can stay with me, if you like. You can take up Luke's room."
At the mere mention of Lucas, Brooke shakes her head quickly, "No, no. I can't do that to you. Not again."
"I don't mind the company. You've always been welcome Brooke, no matter what status you and my son are at."
Brooke smiles shyly, a blush tinging her cheeks. She doesn't deserve this kind of hospitality, not from Karen of all people. She's nodding, a small nod at that, and Karen's smiling once again. "But I won't take the bed. The couch seems just fine." Brooke didn't wish to taint the memory of Lucas in Karen's mind. Whether it be physical or not. She can't go back into that bedroom, they both know it.
"The couch it is," Karen smiles reassuringly, and Brooke's certain there was no anger against her to start with. Karen ends up getting her a coffee, saying it's on the house, and the two bond over the past, the future, and never seem to mention what had transpired two weeks ago.
It's a breath of fresh air, but Brooke's sure it won't last for long.
-
She takes up camp on the couch, after much persuasion that it'll just be easier if she wasn't in Lucas' room, or taking up anymore space than necessary for her temporary visit. She promised Karen in the cafe that she'd be out of her hair as soon as possible, a week tops, and she was sure she'd find an apartment sooner than that.
It feels awkward staying with Karen, she was certain two weeks ago she'd be her daughter-in-law, finally. But, as Brooke knew life, it always had a way to tear her up inside and make her destroy the one thing that had been positive in her life. For four years, she'd dreamed of her wedding to Lucas. Kind of crazy, really, but Brooke always thought he was the one.
He had even told Rachel she was the one.
Definitely freaky.
She sighs as she fluffs the pillow pathetically. It's still bright and early, and as hot as hell, and Brooke figures she could take a walk to see if Tree Hill has even changed in the slightest since her short absence. It's a long shot, to be truthful, but Brooke needs an excuse to get out of the house before she ventures into Lucas' room and invades the scent and feel of him.
She misses the warmth of his hands all over her, eliciting a spark within the deepest chambers of her heart.
She moves over towards the front door - she refuses to go through Lucas' room, it's a familiar route she had become used to when she was 18 - and opens the door and allows the air to enter into her body, hoping it cleanses her in and out.
She starts walking down the concrete path in front of many perfectly built houses, wondering if her car is still around. Has Rachel crashed it? Did she sell it? Has Rachel - oh god. Her mind wasn't going to go anywhere near where Rachel's nudity and another person's nakedness was concerned. She considers walking to Rachel's house, but she knows she's not ready for it yet. Rachel will do anything to tear Brooke down, from her pedestal or from the cliff's edge, and Brooke wasn't stable enough for Hurricane Rachel.
At least, not yet.
She's been walking for what seems like hours when she came to a stop at a door. It isn't painted red - and she's thankful for that, she doesn't need another painful memory of a certain blonde - and there's no sound coming from behind it. It's been a lonely place for four years, ever since the breaking up of Tree Hill's fairytale couple.
The bookworm and the basketball star.
She sighs before she allows her fist to make contact with the dull coloured wood. Brooke knocks a couple of times, once, twice, and stands there impatiently, tapping her foot on the porch. She doesn't know if he's sold the place yet, but she's sure he hasn't. He hadn't two weeks ago, had he?
With another sigh, Brooke's about to give up when the door squeakily opens and reveals the scruffy face of a familiar happy trooper. Although, he's not so happy anymore. Hasn't been for years.
She smiles, it's genuine and not forced, which surprises her, and she cheerily greets him, "Hey superstar."
"Brooke?" It's like he's squinting, as if he's just gotten out of his dark, deep, broody hole to come and answer the door, and the sunlight is his enemy. Or maybe she's just too bright. Either way, he squints and questions her as if she isn't real. She doesn't blame him, though, she's been M.I.A. for two weeks. Everyone who knows Brooke knows she's always around.
Always.
It's predictable, and she knows she's thrown them all off course. They don't know her anymore, and she's sure as hell doesn't know who this person is in this body that looks certainly like her. The shell may be her, but what is inside isn't. That's what she thinks of it, anyway.
"That's me. Why, have you forgotten me already?" The chirpiness in her voice really is surprising her, with how down and depressed she's been feeling, Brooke doesn't know how her brain is making her voice and limbs act all jumpy and happy. It's almost normal.
He shakes his head as if he was talking to Elvis or someone who he hasn't seen in years, and he blinks a couple of more times, obviously not believing what his eyes are seeing. Brooke guesses he's probably adjusting to the sunlight. Maybe he's hung over. "No, I just - I just didn't expect to see you around."
He sighs, and Brooke notices how defeated he is. He leans against the open door, looking at her in her jeans and tank top, looking as plain and dead as ever, and all she wants to do is hug him because of the sad, lost and almost drained look that plagues his once scheming face. She opts for a shrug, though, and softens her voice as she's flushed with seriousness, "Neither did I."
Nathan shrugs effortlessly, it's a small gesture but it warms Brooke's heart, "Well, I'm glad you're back." At this, Brooke raises her eyebrow in wonderment, and he quickly adds, "Tree Hill just wasn't the same without bitchy Brooke."
"Aww. I missed you, too, Nate," Brooke smiles as she shifts on her feet. She resists the urge to playfully punch his shoulder. They're not kids anymore, and nothing is what it had been four years ago. She doesn't know what she can and can't do around him anymore. He's a broken case, or a record - something along the lines of him being broken - and she knows he's not the same Nathan Scott she once knew.
Silence overcomes them, and it feels uncomfortable, but it suits them. They've never been close - not really, not even when Nathan was dating Peyton all those years ago, or when Brooke was with Lucas (when Nathan and Lucas had become the best of friends) - but they always knew they had a connection. Brooke inwardly shrugs it off as she looks at Nathan, taking in his lazy gaze and his lazy appearance.
Haley really did do a number on him.
There's a sudden change in Nathan's calm stare, and it makes Brooke shift as he asks one of the few questions Brooke doesn't wish to answer, "Where did you go, Brooke?" His eyes never seem to leave her, she can feel it as she looks at the hinges in the door. She doesn't know how, but it seems like every Scott had some sort of power over her. Maybe she was easy to read for them, or maybe it was because of how she was around Lucas. She used to be open, vibrant, bouncy. She wore her heart on her sleeve, and wanted the whole world to know what she was feeling. She thought she had been feeling love.
Brooke looks at her feet, and she knows she can't hide forever. Not from Nathan, she at least owes him something. It's not like they ever dated or had any relationship, or anything. She just feels obligated to. Besides, there was just some sort of bond already formed, and Brooke knew she felt something strong with him, she just didn't know what. "I had to get away," she quietly says, and she's not sure if he heard her.
He's quiet for a few minutes, and Brooke finally gains the courage to look at him. She's a coward, regardless if she runs or doesn't. She can't even look Nathan in the eye and tell him the truth - or say something similar to it.
His eyes make her see how he feels. He's broken. She immediately looks away, again. She caused that look, with her words, anyway. Maybe her actions. But in Nathan's eyes, maybe she was Haley to him. Haley ran, she ran to her music, she didn't fight for her marriage - well, that's how Brooke saw it. Haley got away before she could be torn in two, unlike Brooke, she was already split in half. Brooke inwardly slaps herself for her stupidity. Nathan may be the only one left, but she's got to remember he has a tragic past, too. Something similar to hers. He's still hurting, and he needs her just as she needs him. Her musings are broken when Nathan's voice cracks as he breathes out, "Why?"
Brooke eyes dart to his, away from the balcony where some memories of girls' nights and pillow fights had come before her eyes, and she looks at Nathan, confused. It takes her a few seconds to realise what he's asking.
Why did she leave Lucas?
She's going to stall, they both know it, and when she dismisses it with a wave of her hand and, "It doesn't matter," it leaves Brooke knowing that it does matters. It matters a lot. Maybe it matters more to Nathan than to her.
Nathan opens his mouth to speak but Brooke quickly butts in first, knowing he's going to push for an answer, and she knows she's not ready to face the reality yet. Her tone isn't soft, but it is louder than it had been seconds ago, and there's less personal emotion behind it. "Look, do you know where I can find a good apartment or something? I don't want to burden Rachel - god forbid I live with that whore again - and I want my own place, so, you know any that come at a really low price? Maybe nothing at all?"
Nathan seems to have picked up on this, and he scratches the back of his neck, "Where are you staying now? Your car?" He tries looking over her shoulder, and he doesn't see a car there. Brooke doesn't even have to turn around to see where he's looking. His eyes look distant, almost lost, and she knows he's reliving something. A memory. Something totally Naley and personal.
"No," Brooke chuckles with a shake of her head, "Rachel has my car. I'm staying at Karen's."
"Oh."
"Yeah," she says awkwardly, sensing the tension her confession had caused. She even guessed things with Karen would be tough - they will be, she knows it, but right now, she needs to settle in.
"I don't know any places," Nathan says, looking down at his feet. He looks up to Brooke's disappointed face, and she swears she sees the emotion of guilt flash quickly in his eyes before he hastily adds, "Sorry."
Brooke sighs, and her shoulders slump in defeat, "Pity. I hate doing this to Karen."
"I'm sure she doesn't mind."
"That her son's ex-fiancée broke his heart and has now moved in her house, claiming her rather lumpy couch?" Brooke proposes, losing her breath as her emotions start overruling her mind. She doesn't want to cry - not in front of Nathan. She rubs her palm to her forehead, trying to keep the tears away from her eyes.
"Okay. I take that back. I bet she does."
Phew. Tears be gone.
Brooke lets out a frustrated sigh, and weakly voices, "How did life get so out of control?"
Nathan didn't reply. Instead, he scratches the back of his neck again, looking at Brooke and he reluctantly offers, "Uh, I guess - I guess you could stay here, for a bit. Until you find a place, and all."
She looks up surprised, she never expected Nathan out of all the people in Tree Hill to offer her a place. She already had her puppy dog eyes, pouting lip and begging planned for back up, but there seems to be no need. Not for today. Not for Nathan. Her eyes are wide as she seems to have moved back a little from the shock, "Are you sure?"
"I guess," Nathan says with a shrug. Oh right, like that is going to convince her. But Brooke isn't going to complain. She'll take whatever she can get at the moment, and if that means she has to live with a gloomy Nathan, than so be it. Who knew, he might get a little cheery with Brooke around.
"Oh, thank you Nate!" Brooke exclaims as she jumps towards him, wrapping her arms around his muscular figure. He doesn't respond at first, but Brooke soon feels his hands pat her back awkwardly, and she stifles a giggle at how she's being treated like a pet.
"Yeah, yeah. No problem." Nathan says, his breath hot and tickling her ear. She pulls away from him, a little breathless but she doesn't let it show, and continues to smile widely.
Her voice is cheery, and it seems like the old Brooke is back. Almost. "I promise you won't regret it!"
"You sure?" Nathan asks sceptically, raising one of his eyebrows as Brooke looks shocked at his attitude. He's playing, and Brooke likes how he's suddenly switched to Nathan-with-an-actual-personality. He's glowing with light, and Brooke has to - inwardly - give herself a pat on the back for her effort.
"You're funny," she huffs out, her arms crossed over her chest as she stares him down - while she's looking up at him. He's much taller than her, only by a head or so.
He rolls his eyes, looking away from the fuming brunette, and breathes out casually, "Whatever."
Brooke suddenly stops her huffing and smiles again, almost bouncing on the spot, "So, when can I move in?"
Nathan shrugs and winces, "Tomorrow?" He's already regretting this, she can tell. No one promises Brooke Davis something and backs away. She's a challenge, and she knows Nathan loves challenges.
"Great! Thanks again Nate."
"It's okay."
"Great. Now I've got to see if my car has any disgusting stains in it since I've been gone."
Nathan nods, apparently ignoring her as she imagines her car with the smell of Rachel and men. "See you later," he offers, knowing this will be the last time his bachelor pad will be all manly. There's too much testosterone in that building, Brooke thinks as she stands on her tip-toes, trying to look over his shoulder. She turns to face Nathan, an amused smile and a rare smirk lighten his face, and she offers him a lame shrug, settling back down onto her feet.
Brooke doesn't leave immediately like she thinks he expects, but she surprises him with a peck on the cheek and a warming smile as she starts to skip down the long staircase, leading to her path. Before she's completely out of earshot, Brooke excitedly yells, "Kiss you later, roomie!"
She's bouncing as she plops from step to step, and the smile on her face won't go away. Her stomach is doing flip-flops, assaulting the walls of her insides, and it's not just because she's scored a place to actually sleep in that's comfortable, warm and has no source of any unwanted tension. She would've felt the pinching of her cheeks start to ache, but all her mind - and her body - could feel is the fuzziness that's overtaken her mouth.
i don't know
i really don't know
if this castle in the sand
is strong enough to stand.
eta; This story is being re-written, and you can find the updates here.
-
Pairing/Character: Nathan/Brooke; Lucas/Brooke, Nathan/Haley, Lucas/Peyton
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for all episodes.
Disclaimer: Not mine. ;/
Rating: M
Summary: She had everything she ever wanted, and in a single breath, she ran away. Back home, after two weeks of M.I.A., Brooke's homeless, heartbroken, and destroyed. In search of a place to live, Brooke finds an unlikely companion in a lonely Nathan, and a spare couch in his once-filled with light apartment. (Futurefic.)
Notes: (Cross-posted at a kick-ass forum and here @ bluesunsets.)
I've planned on doing a chaptered Brathan, since they just won't leave me alone to concerntrate on a possible Brucas, or even a Naley. And my muse for one-shots has kind of gone off. I'm abandoned, alone and I have this Brathan sitting on my computer, just waiting to be formed. So, hopefully for all you Brathan, Brooke, and Nathan fans out there, this story might give you some Brathan love.
BEWARE: Naley and Leyton will be an undertone. Sad, I know.
All you need to know about the characters is that this is set four years in the future, making Brooke and the gang roughly 22. I'm not sure how old they are in the series, but considering they're seniors, I'm guessing they're roughly 18. (And since Rachel was 17 in the Season Three Finale, thank you Hot Uncle Cooper for telling me this). It is set in the future so I don't have to go by any One Tree Hill guidelines (a.k.a episodes), and since I can muck around with it. It's free-er, and hopefully more entertaining than your average episodic altered fic that I could ever write.
Note: Brooke and Peyton mended their broken friendship (again) and Brooke and Lucas gave it another shot (again), and Haley went off for her music career after the Season Three Finale - somewhere after that - and I know I ruined that whole shocking surprise but who knows, maybe Haley could've lied? Hmmm . . . Season Four doesn't exist in my world. Or on my TV. So, some things I know have happened, and some things I don't . . . so be nice. Please? :p
This will also be slightly - if not, surprisingly - AU to One Tree Hill, and to some of the things that have happened. I won't tell you anything, for fear that it's either happened (in the new season) and/or because I want it to be a surprise. Some things may have happened in One Tree Hill may be used in here - to basically develop our Brathan and their story - but most likely they've been altered to fit our - more like my - Brathan lust. Some things may seem familiar, because I can't think of anything creative. ;/
I've tried keeping everyone in character as much as possible. Any suggestions, guesses and feedback is welcome! I've planned most of this out - and still am planning - and I guess there will be angst, since I am into the whole "I-like-you-but-I-won't-tell-you-therefore-forming-ST". Therefore, this may be a long story. I just hope you’re all in for the ride. ;)
Also, some words may be spelt in the Australian way. I've only changed "mum" to "mom" for the hell of it. :p
Anyway. Enjoy. :)
Lyrics: Evermore - "Running".
-
01. Runaway Cheery.
step away, turn around
let my feet hit the ground
. . . running, running, running, running . . .
She remembers the clock ticking in sync with her heart. Quickly, nervously, rushing.
The body-length mirror reflected her pure presence, the white fabric shining in a way that made the room somewhat brighter, and her aura somehow more innocent than it actually was. Everything seemed perfect, at the time she had been thinking so too, but the person she saw reflected on the glass was not the girl she'd pictured in her many fantasies, and the dreams she'd smiled to while she slept, as they lead her through the days coming up to the big event.
She remembers the frown she wore, the dress was doing no justice to her mood, and her heart wasn't thumping violently in her chest, ready to burst due to the mere thought of becoming Mrs Lucas Scott. It may have been nerves, but for the first time in four years, she's realised what has been right in front of her all this time.
It wasn't meant to be. It never was.
It was doomed from the start, and as the tears slowly caressed her face, dragging her black mascara down with it, she finally realised she wouldn't have a happy ending. It wasn't going to be happy, anyway. With all the deception, lies and the history. How could she forget the history? Her maid-of-honour and her fiancée had a past - a rather messy past that was full of want, need, love.
Everything else is blank, she refuses to remember, and her memory skips to where she's running - not literally, but in a sense she is - and she gets into the limo - she refused a horse and carriage, since the memories of a bridge, a crash and another fairytale marriage gone haywire still burns in their memories - and she escaped.
She ran from her prince. She ran from the evil witch. She ran from it all.
She was a coward, and she was happy with that. But now? She's realised her mistake. She's a risk taker, always has been and always will be, and she ran from something that requires risk, not just because of who was in the wedding, or who she is, but because marriage itself is a risk.
That's why she's here, in California. She's not here to get comfort from her parents - hell, they didn't even know their daughter was even getting married - but for an escape. No one would bother travelling this far to get to her, and she knew two weeks ago, that he'll be gone with her.
Goddamn Goldilocks always got everything.
The dress still fit her perfectly, just like it had that warm afternoon, and she quickly tears herself out of it, the memories still stinging, and she knows she isn't ready to take that bandaid off quite yet.
She folds up the white material, and quickly dresses into a pair of jeans and a white tank top. Pulling her hair into a high ponytail, she stares into the mirror and lets her hands drop to her sides, and with a sigh, she quietly encourages herself. "It's time to go home, Brooke Davis."
-
The airport is busy, and Brooke finds comfort in this. Everyone is bustling around, minding their own business, and she doesn't recognise a single face. Releasing a breath, she pulls her bag along with her, making her way to the exit. She stops quickly, eyeing the doors uneasily, and knows if she steps over this boundary, that she's in Tree Hill. She can't escape the looks, the whispers, the questions that are bound to be asked by some of the people she knows.
Karen. Brooke knows she's disappointed her, as her face flickers in her mind, the shock, the anger, the hurt. She shakes her head, ridding the image of Karen's upset face, and takes a deep breath before she sets foot outside the safety of the airport.
There's no place like home.
She takes a cab, and she's already on her way to a place she's rather familiar with. It feels like decades have gone by as she sits in the cab, her head resting on the window as she sees everything whip past her. It feels like life itself, her relationship with Lucas, has gone as quick as the speed of light. Nostalgic from her sudden loss, Brooke's grateful for when the cab pulls over at one of her favourite places.
Karen's Café. She reads the sign affectionately as she gets out, tosses some cash at the cabbie, and grabs her suitcase from the back. As the car drives off, Brooke is caught standing there, looking through the window. She sees Karen wiping the counter, her eyes focussed at the task at hand, and she looks up - Brooke's begging her to - and once she spots Brooke outside the window, Brooke isn't so sure she wanted Karen to see her. At least, not while the wounds were fresh.
Karen's eyes are wide, and from where Brooke's standing, they look almost blank. As dark as the first night she spent that was meant to be her wedding night. Alone, cold, and stuck in a reasonably expensive hotel room in California. She shivers as she's thrown out of the memory abruptly, and the eye contact hasn't broken.
Brooke's the first to break it, though, looking down at her feet. When she looks up again, Karen's blinking in her direction, possibly wondering why on earth Brooke is in Tree Hill. Without thinking - or even feeling - Brooke's moving towards the door. The chime above her rings as she opens it, and she drags her bag behind her, leaving it near a table close to the exit just in case Karen decides to throw mugs at her.
She doubts it, though, but the nightmares really did frighten her.
Karen's wiping a mug with a cloth as Brooke approaches the counter. She watches her, almost like a hawk watching it's prey, and when Brooke sits down on the edge of her stool, it's the first time she's noticed she's shaking. Karen doesn't hate her, right? Karen approaches Brooke, she's still behind the counter, and doesn't even smile. Brooke misses her motherly smile, it sent warmth right through her, a warmth she had been neglected from all her life.
She shifts in her stool, and almost topples over as Karen's icy voice dully says, "Brooke." It's not a question, or a sign of astonishment that her should-have-been-daughter-in-law is actually alive and well. Brooke winces as Karen's eyes penetrate hers, burning holes into her own, and Brooke looks down at the counter where her hands have managed to rest.
She summons up her courage, and looks up at Karen, "Hi."
Karen still looks at Brooke, making her feel naked and exposed. So this is how it's going to be? She walks away from a marriage that would never have brought happiness, and she's getting punished for it? The one mature move Brooke's ever made in her life, and it has come down to isolation from even someone she thought of as a mother? The tears started to well up in her eyes, and as she looks at Karen, the further they push to escape.
A tear quickly slides down her cheek, another following its lead, and another after that. Leaning her elbows on the counter, Brooke places her head slowly into her hands, whimpering and crying harder than she's ever done since her failed wedding night. "Oh Brooke," she vaguely hears as Karen places the mug down on the counter, and hurriedly walks over towards her. The feel of warmth across her shoulders and smooth circles near the back of her neck brings Brooke to realise Karen is there, soothing her and not cruelly laughing at her.
She's calmer now, after minutes of soothing and shushing, and Brooke knows Karen will always be her ideal mom. "Do you have any place to stay?" Karen asks as she sits on a stool beside Brooke, her motherly voice makes Brooke feel safer than she has in weeks.
Brooke can't muster up words, and shakes her head instead. Karen sighs with a small nod, and says, "You can stay with me, if you like. You can take up Luke's room."
At the mere mention of Lucas, Brooke shakes her head quickly, "No, no. I can't do that to you. Not again."
"I don't mind the company. You've always been welcome Brooke, no matter what status you and my son are at."
Brooke smiles shyly, a blush tinging her cheeks. She doesn't deserve this kind of hospitality, not from Karen of all people. She's nodding, a small nod at that, and Karen's smiling once again. "But I won't take the bed. The couch seems just fine." Brooke didn't wish to taint the memory of Lucas in Karen's mind. Whether it be physical or not. She can't go back into that bedroom, they both know it.
"The couch it is," Karen smiles reassuringly, and Brooke's certain there was no anger against her to start with. Karen ends up getting her a coffee, saying it's on the house, and the two bond over the past, the future, and never seem to mention what had transpired two weeks ago.
It's a breath of fresh air, but Brooke's sure it won't last for long.
-
She takes up camp on the couch, after much persuasion that it'll just be easier if she wasn't in Lucas' room, or taking up anymore space than necessary for her temporary visit. She promised Karen in the cafe that she'd be out of her hair as soon as possible, a week tops, and she was sure she'd find an apartment sooner than that.
It feels awkward staying with Karen, she was certain two weeks ago she'd be her daughter-in-law, finally. But, as Brooke knew life, it always had a way to tear her up inside and make her destroy the one thing that had been positive in her life. For four years, she'd dreamed of her wedding to Lucas. Kind of crazy, really, but Brooke always thought he was the one.
He had even told Rachel she was the one.
Definitely freaky.
She sighs as she fluffs the pillow pathetically. It's still bright and early, and as hot as hell, and Brooke figures she could take a walk to see if Tree Hill has even changed in the slightest since her short absence. It's a long shot, to be truthful, but Brooke needs an excuse to get out of the house before she ventures into Lucas' room and invades the scent and feel of him.
She misses the warmth of his hands all over her, eliciting a spark within the deepest chambers of her heart.
She moves over towards the front door - she refuses to go through Lucas' room, it's a familiar route she had become used to when she was 18 - and opens the door and allows the air to enter into her body, hoping it cleanses her in and out.
She starts walking down the concrete path in front of many perfectly built houses, wondering if her car is still around. Has Rachel crashed it? Did she sell it? Has Rachel - oh god. Her mind wasn't going to go anywhere near where Rachel's nudity and another person's nakedness was concerned. She considers walking to Rachel's house, but she knows she's not ready for it yet. Rachel will do anything to tear Brooke down, from her pedestal or from the cliff's edge, and Brooke wasn't stable enough for Hurricane Rachel.
At least, not yet.
She's been walking for what seems like hours when she came to a stop at a door. It isn't painted red - and she's thankful for that, she doesn't need another painful memory of a certain blonde - and there's no sound coming from behind it. It's been a lonely place for four years, ever since the breaking up of Tree Hill's fairytale couple.
The bookworm and the basketball star.
She sighs before she allows her fist to make contact with the dull coloured wood. Brooke knocks a couple of times, once, twice, and stands there impatiently, tapping her foot on the porch. She doesn't know if he's sold the place yet, but she's sure he hasn't. He hadn't two weeks ago, had he?
With another sigh, Brooke's about to give up when the door squeakily opens and reveals the scruffy face of a familiar happy trooper. Although, he's not so happy anymore. Hasn't been for years.
She smiles, it's genuine and not forced, which surprises her, and she cheerily greets him, "Hey superstar."
"Brooke?" It's like he's squinting, as if he's just gotten out of his dark, deep, broody hole to come and answer the door, and the sunlight is his enemy. Or maybe she's just too bright. Either way, he squints and questions her as if she isn't real. She doesn't blame him, though, she's been M.I.A. for two weeks. Everyone who knows Brooke knows she's always around.
Always.
It's predictable, and she knows she's thrown them all off course. They don't know her anymore, and she's sure as hell doesn't know who this person is in this body that looks certainly like her. The shell may be her, but what is inside isn't. That's what she thinks of it, anyway.
"That's me. Why, have you forgotten me already?" The chirpiness in her voice really is surprising her, with how down and depressed she's been feeling, Brooke doesn't know how her brain is making her voice and limbs act all jumpy and happy. It's almost normal.
He shakes his head as if he was talking to Elvis or someone who he hasn't seen in years, and he blinks a couple of more times, obviously not believing what his eyes are seeing. Brooke guesses he's probably adjusting to the sunlight. Maybe he's hung over. "No, I just - I just didn't expect to see you around."
He sighs, and Brooke notices how defeated he is. He leans against the open door, looking at her in her jeans and tank top, looking as plain and dead as ever, and all she wants to do is hug him because of the sad, lost and almost drained look that plagues his once scheming face. She opts for a shrug, though, and softens her voice as she's flushed with seriousness, "Neither did I."
Nathan shrugs effortlessly, it's a small gesture but it warms Brooke's heart, "Well, I'm glad you're back." At this, Brooke raises her eyebrow in wonderment, and he quickly adds, "Tree Hill just wasn't the same without bitchy Brooke."
"Aww. I missed you, too, Nate," Brooke smiles as she shifts on her feet. She resists the urge to playfully punch his shoulder. They're not kids anymore, and nothing is what it had been four years ago. She doesn't know what she can and can't do around him anymore. He's a broken case, or a record - something along the lines of him being broken - and she knows he's not the same Nathan Scott she once knew.
Silence overcomes them, and it feels uncomfortable, but it suits them. They've never been close - not really, not even when Nathan was dating Peyton all those years ago, or when Brooke was with Lucas (when Nathan and Lucas had become the best of friends) - but they always knew they had a connection. Brooke inwardly shrugs it off as she looks at Nathan, taking in his lazy gaze and his lazy appearance.
Haley really did do a number on him.
There's a sudden change in Nathan's calm stare, and it makes Brooke shift as he asks one of the few questions Brooke doesn't wish to answer, "Where did you go, Brooke?" His eyes never seem to leave her, she can feel it as she looks at the hinges in the door. She doesn't know how, but it seems like every Scott had some sort of power over her. Maybe she was easy to read for them, or maybe it was because of how she was around Lucas. She used to be open, vibrant, bouncy. She wore her heart on her sleeve, and wanted the whole world to know what she was feeling. She thought she had been feeling love.
Brooke looks at her feet, and she knows she can't hide forever. Not from Nathan, she at least owes him something. It's not like they ever dated or had any relationship, or anything. She just feels obligated to. Besides, there was just some sort of bond already formed, and Brooke knew she felt something strong with him, she just didn't know what. "I had to get away," she quietly says, and she's not sure if he heard her.
He's quiet for a few minutes, and Brooke finally gains the courage to look at him. She's a coward, regardless if she runs or doesn't. She can't even look Nathan in the eye and tell him the truth - or say something similar to it.
His eyes make her see how he feels. He's broken. She immediately looks away, again. She caused that look, with her words, anyway. Maybe her actions. But in Nathan's eyes, maybe she was Haley to him. Haley ran, she ran to her music, she didn't fight for her marriage - well, that's how Brooke saw it. Haley got away before she could be torn in two, unlike Brooke, she was already split in half. Brooke inwardly slaps herself for her stupidity. Nathan may be the only one left, but she's got to remember he has a tragic past, too. Something similar to hers. He's still hurting, and he needs her just as she needs him. Her musings are broken when Nathan's voice cracks as he breathes out, "Why?"
Brooke eyes dart to his, away from the balcony where some memories of girls' nights and pillow fights had come before her eyes, and she looks at Nathan, confused. It takes her a few seconds to realise what he's asking.
Why did she leave Lucas?
She's going to stall, they both know it, and when she dismisses it with a wave of her hand and, "It doesn't matter," it leaves Brooke knowing that it does matters. It matters a lot. Maybe it matters more to Nathan than to her.
Nathan opens his mouth to speak but Brooke quickly butts in first, knowing he's going to push for an answer, and she knows she's not ready to face the reality yet. Her tone isn't soft, but it is louder than it had been seconds ago, and there's less personal emotion behind it. "Look, do you know where I can find a good apartment or something? I don't want to burden Rachel - god forbid I live with that whore again - and I want my own place, so, you know any that come at a really low price? Maybe nothing at all?"
Nathan seems to have picked up on this, and he scratches the back of his neck, "Where are you staying now? Your car?" He tries looking over her shoulder, and he doesn't see a car there. Brooke doesn't even have to turn around to see where he's looking. His eyes look distant, almost lost, and she knows he's reliving something. A memory. Something totally Naley and personal.
"No," Brooke chuckles with a shake of her head, "Rachel has my car. I'm staying at Karen's."
"Oh."
"Yeah," she says awkwardly, sensing the tension her confession had caused. She even guessed things with Karen would be tough - they will be, she knows it, but right now, she needs to settle in.
"I don't know any places," Nathan says, looking down at his feet. He looks up to Brooke's disappointed face, and she swears she sees the emotion of guilt flash quickly in his eyes before he hastily adds, "Sorry."
Brooke sighs, and her shoulders slump in defeat, "Pity. I hate doing this to Karen."
"I'm sure she doesn't mind."
"That her son's ex-fiancée broke his heart and has now moved in her house, claiming her rather lumpy couch?" Brooke proposes, losing her breath as her emotions start overruling her mind. She doesn't want to cry - not in front of Nathan. She rubs her palm to her forehead, trying to keep the tears away from her eyes.
"Okay. I take that back. I bet she does."
Phew. Tears be gone.
Brooke lets out a frustrated sigh, and weakly voices, "How did life get so out of control?"
Nathan didn't reply. Instead, he scratches the back of his neck again, looking at Brooke and he reluctantly offers, "Uh, I guess - I guess you could stay here, for a bit. Until you find a place, and all."
She looks up surprised, she never expected Nathan out of all the people in Tree Hill to offer her a place. She already had her puppy dog eyes, pouting lip and begging planned for back up, but there seems to be no need. Not for today. Not for Nathan. Her eyes are wide as she seems to have moved back a little from the shock, "Are you sure?"
"I guess," Nathan says with a shrug. Oh right, like that is going to convince her. But Brooke isn't going to complain. She'll take whatever she can get at the moment, and if that means she has to live with a gloomy Nathan, than so be it. Who knew, he might get a little cheery with Brooke around.
"Oh, thank you Nate!" Brooke exclaims as she jumps towards him, wrapping her arms around his muscular figure. He doesn't respond at first, but Brooke soon feels his hands pat her back awkwardly, and she stifles a giggle at how she's being treated like a pet.
"Yeah, yeah. No problem." Nathan says, his breath hot and tickling her ear. She pulls away from him, a little breathless but she doesn't let it show, and continues to smile widely.
Her voice is cheery, and it seems like the old Brooke is back. Almost. "I promise you won't regret it!"
"You sure?" Nathan asks sceptically, raising one of his eyebrows as Brooke looks shocked at his attitude. He's playing, and Brooke likes how he's suddenly switched to Nathan-with-an-actual-personality. He's glowing with light, and Brooke has to - inwardly - give herself a pat on the back for her effort.
"You're funny," she huffs out, her arms crossed over her chest as she stares him down - while she's looking up at him. He's much taller than her, only by a head or so.
He rolls his eyes, looking away from the fuming brunette, and breathes out casually, "Whatever."
Brooke suddenly stops her huffing and smiles again, almost bouncing on the spot, "So, when can I move in?"
Nathan shrugs and winces, "Tomorrow?" He's already regretting this, she can tell. No one promises Brooke Davis something and backs away. She's a challenge, and she knows Nathan loves challenges.
"Great! Thanks again Nate."
"It's okay."
"Great. Now I've got to see if my car has any disgusting stains in it since I've been gone."
Nathan nods, apparently ignoring her as she imagines her car with the smell of Rachel and men. "See you later," he offers, knowing this will be the last time his bachelor pad will be all manly. There's too much testosterone in that building, Brooke thinks as she stands on her tip-toes, trying to look over his shoulder. She turns to face Nathan, an amused smile and a rare smirk lighten his face, and she offers him a lame shrug, settling back down onto her feet.
Brooke doesn't leave immediately like she thinks he expects, but she surprises him with a peck on the cheek and a warming smile as she starts to skip down the long staircase, leading to her path. Before she's completely out of earshot, Brooke excitedly yells, "Kiss you later, roomie!"
She's bouncing as she plops from step to step, and the smile on her face won't go away. Her stomach is doing flip-flops, assaulting the walls of her insides, and it's not just because she's scored a place to actually sleep in that's comfortable, warm and has no source of any unwanted tension. She would've felt the pinching of her cheeks start to ache, but all her mind - and her body - could feel is the fuzziness that's overtaken her mouth.
i don't know
i really don't know
if this castle in the sand
is strong enough to stand.
eta; This story is being re-written, and you can find the updates here.
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