Updates
Ughh! I wrote this HUGE long entry about my trip to Oklahoma, but it got DELETED! I was so mad! Oh well, alot of stuff I said in that entry were rude anyway so let me brief you.
I went to Oklahoma for a few days during Spring Break. We saw my second cousins and stayed in a motel in a neighboring town (there are no hotels/motels in Calumet, OK.. we had to drive for 20 minutes to get to one, poor things.. teehaw :-D) ANYWAY (I get off subject REAL easy), Once there we did the whole cracker-jacks and peanuts baseball thing, hit up the ranch scene, etc.. We rode horses one day and it mine started going crazy and running faster than I've ever seen a horse go, literally. I have no idea how to stay on while riding a speeding horse, so I started slipping sideways and nearly fell off. It was so scary! If I fell off, I would have probably died, which is very scary to think about. The End. Moving on.
Currently I am sitting here waiting for my mom and dad to get back from Dinner at El Palenque with the Pattersons. She promised to bring me my usual, which happens to be the El Nino Beef Enchilada. Yeehaw.
I am thinking about God, which is not unusual. God is a very general, confusing topic. It is so hard to be completely used to a world where something only exists if you can see it. Having a relationship with God means you have to give up all of that. Comparing Lint and the things you automatically have to give up if you become saved is like comparing my toenail to the empire state building. Make that my PINKY toe nail. It is so hard to have faith.. faith meaning believing in something you can't see. And you can't just believe, you can't expand your relationship with God unless you talk to Him and put him before everything. Its so hard. I'm really struggling. There are so many good things that I can see and feel, that its difficult seeing why I should give up these things for something I can't see. It's a complete to the death fight between your heart and your brain. If I haven't already said this enough, its HARD. And as times get more confusing, the devil kicks the temptation into overdrive.
Well I think thats about all I have to say.. one more thing can speak for me and that is the song "Hold Me Now" by Jennifer Knapp which is in my profile on AIM, so I'm BEGGING you to read it because it says 39432 times more than I ever could because I am a stuttering idiot and I'm not near as good with words as Jennifer Knapp apparently is :) Actually I'll paste it in here. Please read each line carefully and try your best to piece it all together and understand what it's saying. The song is about God's love and about how he will defend you no matter how you've sinned. The whole song just makes me want to cry, I love it.. it hit me right in the heart.
From glass alabaster I poured out the depths of my soul. Oh foot of Christ would you wait if my harlotries (Look it up) known? Falls a tear to darken the dirt, Of humblest offerings to forgive the hurt. Am I strong enough to stand in Your love? I can hear myself say... "I'm weak. I'm poor. I'm broken, Lord, but I'm Yours. Hold me now! Hold me now!."
And my sweet God said, "Let he without sin cast the first stone if he will ! To say that My bride (me) isn't worth half the blood that I've spilled! Point your fingers and laugh if you choose, To say My beloved is borrowed and used! She is strong enough to stand in My love, I can hear her say... "I'm weak, I'm poor, I'm broken Lord, but I'm Yours. Hold me now, Hold me now."
In His love always,
Amber
I went to Oklahoma for a few days during Spring Break. We saw my second cousins and stayed in a motel in a neighboring town (there are no hotels/motels in Calumet, OK.. we had to drive for 20 minutes to get to one, poor things.. teehaw :-D) ANYWAY (I get off subject REAL easy), Once there we did the whole cracker-jacks and peanuts baseball thing, hit up the ranch scene, etc.. We rode horses one day and it mine started going crazy and running faster than I've ever seen a horse go, literally. I have no idea how to stay on while riding a speeding horse, so I started slipping sideways and nearly fell off. It was so scary! If I fell off, I would have probably died, which is very scary to think about. The End. Moving on.
Currently I am sitting here waiting for my mom and dad to get back from Dinner at El Palenque with the Pattersons. She promised to bring me my usual, which happens to be the El Nino Beef Enchilada. Yeehaw.
I am thinking about God, which is not unusual. God is a very general, confusing topic. It is so hard to be completely used to a world where something only exists if you can see it. Having a relationship with God means you have to give up all of that. Comparing Lint and the things you automatically have to give up if you become saved is like comparing my toenail to the empire state building. Make that my PINKY toe nail. It is so hard to have faith.. faith meaning believing in something you can't see. And you can't just believe, you can't expand your relationship with God unless you talk to Him and put him before everything. Its so hard. I'm really struggling. There are so many good things that I can see and feel, that its difficult seeing why I should give up these things for something I can't see. It's a complete to the death fight between your heart and your brain. If I haven't already said this enough, its HARD. And as times get more confusing, the devil kicks the temptation into overdrive.
Well I think thats about all I have to say.. one more thing can speak for me and that is the song "Hold Me Now" by Jennifer Knapp which is in my profile on AIM, so I'm BEGGING you to read it because it says 39432 times more than I ever could because I am a stuttering idiot and I'm not near as good with words as Jennifer Knapp apparently is :) Actually I'll paste it in here. Please read each line carefully and try your best to piece it all together and understand what it's saying. The song is about God's love and about how he will defend you no matter how you've sinned. The whole song just makes me want to cry, I love it.. it hit me right in the heart.
From glass alabaster I poured out the depths of my soul. Oh foot of Christ would you wait if my harlotries (Look it up) known? Falls a tear to darken the dirt, Of humblest offerings to forgive the hurt. Am I strong enough to stand in Your love? I can hear myself say... "I'm weak. I'm poor. I'm broken, Lord, but I'm Yours. Hold me now! Hold me now!."
And my sweet God said, "Let he without sin cast the first stone if he will ! To say that My bride (me) isn't worth half the blood that I've spilled! Point your fingers and laugh if you choose, To say My beloved is borrowed and used! She is strong enough to stand in My love, I can hear her say... "I'm weak, I'm poor, I'm broken Lord, but I'm Yours. Hold me now, Hold me now."
In His love always,
Amber