(no subject)
What the fuck ever. Forgive me that I was god damn emotional. I can't help that you make me feel like I'm completely fucking insane. Yeah, I was utterly god damn fucking wrong in the way that I treated the situation and you, but can you blame me? I've been destroyed by you so many times, and I can't even tell you the emotional hell that I have gone through. I find it completely unfair that the one time I mess up with you that I get tossed aside like some piece of trash. You're allowed to call me completely fucked up and rip my heart out, and the only time I'm face to face with you (which is the only way I want to talk to you because it allows me to say what I want with the inflection I want) I'm shot down with out any chance of reconciliation. I think that I so fucked. Sick fuck? It's not fair that you're sadistic, and I can't help but be utterly captivated by you. Two years? And I can't even be mad at you? Fuck that god damn shit. So, I yelled at you, and I was mean...that's irrelivent. I admit, that I shouldn't have tried to take advantage of you, but I was just so emotional I didn't know what the hell to do. You wouldn't even talk to me and work it out. All I wanted was to make it right and I went about it the wrong way...I may have been an emotional dick, but I can't stop replaying the horrid shit I did. I lose my breath because I can't believe how shitty I was. I want to turn back time and redo it all over. I wanted to take care of you because you weren't feeling well, I am an ass because I didn't and I ruined the night. Give me a way to turn back time and I'll take it...you don't want to though....it's fine. Apparently it's all fucked up, but what ever torrid love affair was present can't be repaired, because you don't want it to be. I'm sorry the only person I have ever loved doesn't want to be involved anymore...I'm a shit.