sometimes
While I stare out, these things come. Reminding me of where I'm from and what I've done to get here, but it still seems fake. Something about the whole situation screams fraud, distinct manipulation of truth to place me here and now. Where did I start the slide? When did I cease to care? Why am I here, in this room, at 5AM wondering this? Why do I troll forums hoping for an argument, because everyone near me has lost intrest in arguing? WHere are my friends? DO I have any anymore? Why should I care? I'm here, in this room at 5AM on a computer because I cannot sleep. I haven't gone out for fun in almost a month now, mostly because of my foot, some because I've descended into my antisocial mood again. Usually it lasts 6 months or so, then I get back, but what if it doesn't this time? WHat if by the time I get out, it's all gone? Scott dropped the ball about the concert, probably a mistake... Right? Bob hasn't called or come over, he's probably busy...Right?
I don't exist, but here I am at 5AM staring at a screen.
And now.....
I don't exist, but here I am at 5AM staring at a screen.
And now.....