(no subject)

[depressant]

it's getting harder to distinguish reality from imagination again. also, it's getting harder to dilineate my crazy reaction-emotions from the real ones that i'm supposed to feel in situations, and even harder to remember how "normal" people act.

I see your picture and i'm reminded of all the things i miss, I hear your name and i could care less, nothing reminds me of you, or everything does. and sadly this goes for every girl ive ever met.

sort of. not really.

i can't keep track of things anymore, days from night, dreams from imagination, rational thought from insanity.

they say taht you can't love someone else until you love yuourself. they also say you have to learn your strengths and weaknesses. i have a goodly number of strengths, but one of my weaknesses is that i need someone else. ...i'm just not capable of dealing with life, or acting maturely, when i'm by myself.

i hold your neck and kiss your mouth
and swallow all the love you hold

i'm kissing this bottle
instead of kissing your eyelids when you're sleeping

i hold your neck and kiss your mouth
this feeling of despair remains

i'm kissing this bottle
instead of dancing barefoot on hardwood floors

i hold your neck and kiss your mouth
this is what holds me up sometimes

i'm kissing this bottle
instead of tracing your jaw with fingertips

i hold your neck and kiss your mouth
death by liquor is never quick

i'm kissing this bottle
instead of feeling alone tonight for once