(no subject)
"Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin."
-Nickelback - Savin Me.
Well this is the entry of all entries for quite a while i have to many things going on right now that demand my attension and sadly i don't have time. What i will go off to say is... school starts in a few days... im indifferent about it. I hate the fact that me n jeni will be right back to square one with the stress level, the not seeing each other hardly anymore, and then ontop of that throwing in money issues cuz im gonna be saving for our wedding which leaves me with pretty much 0 money to blow off. I think thats the hardest one for her really... i could give a shit if i stayed home for 5 yrs in a row without going out it really doesn't phase me because quite frankly i just don't care. I got to learn that going out doesn't mean wasting money. You cna go out n not waste money u just can't expect it to be amazing. In any case i know her she like to go out... in a way i do too i love spending time with her n knowing she's all happy n excited about something.
But knowing all that awaits for the next 2 yrs.... well pretty much year and a half now... is saving saving saving and penny pinching galore makes a knott tie in my stomach because i remember we had a fight over things being "boring."
Anyways So much shit headed our way and all im doing is reinforcing myself for the massive war ahead for me n her.
Sigh. hopefully me n her will come out of this stronger than ever as it has been so far.
i dunno why ive felt so weird lately.... like i feel like im looking for something "more" or needing for something "more" I can't explain it nor do i know its just a way i feel. Its prolly my crazy mind at work as usual always causing problems.
With that said. im off. Im really just too impaired to type i can't stop thinking about jeni today for some reason. I love that lil girl too much for my own good sometimes. Holding her in my arms while i hug her lately has proven to be so well different i can't explain it just feels so nice. I don't know why.
Shes a special lil girl to me n i wuff her much. And while people say she is very lucky to have me i myself admit i am extremly lucky to have her in my life. eip!
<3
im gone. im exausted.