S'good to be the king
Bishop! Jumps! Queen! Knight! Jumps! Queen! Pawns! Jump! Queen! ...GANG BANG!!!
Insane Anti-Semitic Old Codger And World's Greatest Chess Player Croaks - And We All Move Up One In The Rankings
He praised the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, saying America should be "wiped out," and described Jews as "thieving, lying bastards." His mother was Jewish.
I believe that if there is a hell, it's an intensely personal experience for all of us. We each have our own private hell. I think his would involve eternally losing to Anne Frank in ten moves or less.
(Mine, just as a frame of reference, involves being gagged and bound and tied to an unbreakable chain which runs taut two inches out of strangling distance from a vegan non-smoking fundamentalist pro-life Christian racist homophobe who smacks her gum and laughs nervously when she talks. And I'm STILL - even in hell - incapable of destroying someone with sheer concentrated hate-rays. But fortunately, that'll never happen. Me and Satan, we're tight. I listen to all of his songs, and have been known to frequently masturbate to midget porn while listening to Gwar and drinking and smoking. That, and the fact that I use the ten commandments as my own personal bucket list. And that I've often committed all seven deadly sins simultaneously. [And I love the Jews.])
1) No Gods Before me - I'd take either Cthulhu or Nyarlathotep before Yahweh any day of the week.
2) Make No False Idols - Next to my monitor, my Buddy Christ figurine is tackling a pewter dragon.
3) Not Misuse the Name of God - Goddamnit.
4) Keep the Sabbath Holy - I once masturbated while eating a pork chop at work on a Sunday afternoon.
5) Honor Your Father and Mother - You've gotta be shitting me.
6) Do Not Murder - [Answer Omitted On The Grounds That It May Tend To Incriminate Me In Certain Ongoing Investigations Of Which I Would Know Absolutely Nothing, Really].
7) Do Not Commit Adultery - Sorry, she was hot. Actually, I'm not sorry. ...She was hot!
8) Do Not Steal - Do body parts count?
9) Do Not Lie - I'd never lie. Ever.
10) Do Not Covet Neighbor's Stuffs - He's got a cool weedwhacker, and I'd scrump his wife senseless.
...Damn, I need a new list.
Insane Anti-Semitic Old Codger And World's Greatest Chess Player Croaks - And We All Move Up One In The Rankings
He praised the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, saying America should be "wiped out," and described Jews as "thieving, lying bastards." His mother was Jewish.
I believe that if there is a hell, it's an intensely personal experience for all of us. We each have our own private hell. I think his would involve eternally losing to Anne Frank in ten moves or less.
(Mine, just as a frame of reference, involves being gagged and bound and tied to an unbreakable chain which runs taut two inches out of strangling distance from a vegan non-smoking fundamentalist pro-life Christian racist homophobe who smacks her gum and laughs nervously when she talks. And I'm STILL - even in hell - incapable of destroying someone with sheer concentrated hate-rays. But fortunately, that'll never happen. Me and Satan, we're tight. I listen to all of his songs, and have been known to frequently masturbate to midget porn while listening to Gwar and drinking and smoking. That, and the fact that I use the ten commandments as my own personal bucket list. And that I've often committed all seven deadly sins simultaneously. [And I love the Jews.])
1) No Gods Before me - I'd take either Cthulhu or Nyarlathotep before Yahweh any day of the week.
2) Make No False Idols - Next to my monitor, my Buddy Christ figurine is tackling a pewter dragon.
3) Not Misuse the Name of God - Goddamnit.
4) Keep the Sabbath Holy - I once masturbated while eating a pork chop at work on a Sunday afternoon.
5) Honor Your Father and Mother - You've gotta be shitting me.
6) Do Not Murder - [Answer Omitted On The Grounds That It May Tend To Incriminate Me In Certain Ongoing Investigations Of Which I Would Know Absolutely Nothing, Really].
7) Do Not Commit Adultery - Sorry, she was hot. Actually, I'm not sorry. ...She was hot!
8) Do Not Steal - Do body parts count?
9) Do Not Lie - I'd never lie. Ever.
10) Do Not Covet Neighbor's Stuffs - He's got a cool weedwhacker, and I'd scrump his wife senseless.
...Damn, I need a new list.