Phone Messages.
So I'm reading Ellen Degeneres' blog today at work and came across this little entry that cracked me up.
Man, I love Ellen.
"Phone Messages"
Can we all agree to leave quick, clear, phone messages? All I need is your name and your phone number …but not too quick. Have you ever gotten the annoying, “Hi, it’s me. Give me a call.” Who is “me”? You didn’t talk long enough for me to recognize your voice. Then, weeks later, you get, “Why didn’t you call me back? I left you a message.” Was that you? I’m sorry Momma. Then there’s the important message you’re waiting for, but the person rambles on and on. They don’t leave their number until the very end. By then, they’re speaking so fast you can’t understand them.
So I have to listen to the entire message over and over just to get the number. It’s like ordering a seven-course meal just so you can eat the sorbet. Have you ever been in the middle of leaving a message and get interrupted with, “If you’re satisfied with your message, please press the pound key.” Was there something wrong with my message? I didn’t know this was an audition. Was I slurring? I wasn’t that drunk. Sometimes, I’m in the middle of leaving a message and hear the beep. Was that the start beep or the end beep? That’s when I’ll leave the message, “Well, I don’t know if you’re hearing this but, I’m pregnant. …It’s me.”
