My Best From College
My best friend from college just called to tell me she's engaged.
My best friend from college! The one who would date men and then, shortly after their breakup, watch the same fellas skip off to gaydom. It happened three times.
My best friend from college! The one who was, at age 27, mistaken for a mentally challenged junior high schooler. On the walk to her car one early morning, the short bus from the school down the street rolled up next to her, stopped, and opened its doors. "Come on now, we don't walk ourselves to school," the driver cajoled, trying to get her to board. I attempted to console her when she told me about the incident, saying she probably just looks young, but my less sensitive roommate asked if she was wearing "the puffy coat" when it happened.
My best friend from college! Owner of the puffy coat, and an outfit so hideous that we called her It when she wore it. To her face. When she put on the It Outfit, she looked like an asexual abomination of the human race. And she continued to wear it.
My best friend from college! Who is currently putting her law degree to work for the NYPD (New York Pizza Department).
My best friend from college is engaged! And I can't even get a date.
My best friend from college! The one who would date men and then, shortly after their breakup, watch the same fellas skip off to gaydom. It happened three times.
My best friend from college! The one who was, at age 27, mistaken for a mentally challenged junior high schooler. On the walk to her car one early morning, the short bus from the school down the street rolled up next to her, stopped, and opened its doors. "Come on now, we don't walk ourselves to school," the driver cajoled, trying to get her to board. I attempted to console her when she told me about the incident, saying she probably just looks young, but my less sensitive roommate asked if she was wearing "the puffy coat" when it happened.
My best friend from college! Owner of the puffy coat, and an outfit so hideous that we called her It when she wore it. To her face. When she put on the It Outfit, she looked like an asexual abomination of the human race. And she continued to wear it.
My best friend from college! Who is currently putting her law degree to work for the NYPD (New York Pizza Department).
My best friend from college is engaged! And I can't even get a date.