(no subject)
It's been an odd sort of weekend XD
I was supposed to go to a concert on Saturday, but it got cancelled (to be more precise, rescheduled for April 2014) because the singer broke his leg.
Then my not-exactly boyfriend was supposed to come over. We actually only meet each other during weekends and communicate online, and now we have not seen each other for a month or so because my mother was here and then I had a bit of a cold... But anyhow, he was supposed to come over today. But suddenly my periods started earlier than expected.
So I wrote to him something along the lines of "Sorry, but that time of the month has come unexpectedly, so there are some types of things we will not be able to do *wink wink* If that bothers you, we can meet up next week." The answer I expected was "That's ok if we can't do anything sexual, I still want to hang out with you!" Instead he said "Ok, see you next week then." XDD
What does that even mean? Possible variants might be:
1. he is being considerate and does not want to come over when I am unwell
2. he is a jerk who is only after my body
3. I'm a dumbass for trying to be subtle, I should have just written "We can't do anything sexual, but we can still hang out". But that would mean putting pressure on him in case he didn't actually want to hang out...
Relationships are complicated :/ I am kind of regretting ever getting into it. Sex is boring at best and painful at worst (not that I would know much, though, we only tried doing it like three times and by now I don't want any dicks anywhere near my crotch XD). And it has totally spoiled fandom for me :/ I used to read porn fics and look at pornographic fanart and think 'I can see how this could be fun, I guess!' And now I'm like 'You cheating scumbags, it's not like that irl at all, you all lied to me, you sick bastards! People who have sex should just die, I hate you all!' XDDD
Putting that aside, it's a good thing that the guy didn't come over because today my grandfather died. We were not really close, so I'm not upset, but it's unexpected. I have (well, had until today) two grandfathers. The first one has had cancer and a stroke, and after that he has been steadily losing his mind and getting weaker, so now he can't even stand up from his bed, can't control his bladder and has a catheter, can barely talk - and when he does say something, it's usually swearwords, which is not fun to listen to at all...
Basically he is just a shell of a human being. My grandmother has to care for him on daily basis, and she is old and complains all the time how she can't manage. Call me selfish, but I'm happy that I'm thousand kilometres away from them and don't have to deal with it. If it's money, I can send them money, although grandmother refuses to accept it. But I don't want to quit my job and go back there to care for him. Well, nobody has made such demands so far, but if situation gets worse, who knows.
Anyhow, I though if any grandfather was going to die, that one would be the one. My other grandfather had Parkinson's disease, but he was still sane, could more or less move, the night before he died he actually participated in a family gathering and even had a drink - and next morning he simply didn't wake up. Not a bad way to die, really.
The funeral will be next Saturday, my mother actually said I don't need to come if I can't manage, but I suppose I should try to get there. I have used up all my vacation days, but I guess I can still get a couple of days of unpaid vacation at work, even though it is pretty short notice. The flight will cost something like 300 EUR, but I can still manage that. I'll talk to my uncle at work tomorrow, he is probably also planning to go there. Actually, since we were not close with the grandfather, I don't particularly want to go there, I will have to go there on X-mas anyway... But it would probably be terribly impolite. Oh well, I'll figure it out.
I was supposed to go to a concert on Saturday, but it got cancelled (to be more precise, rescheduled for April 2014) because the singer broke his leg.
Then my not-exactly boyfriend was supposed to come over. We actually only meet each other during weekends and communicate online, and now we have not seen each other for a month or so because my mother was here and then I had a bit of a cold... But anyhow, he was supposed to come over today. But suddenly my periods started earlier than expected.
So I wrote to him something along the lines of "Sorry, but that time of the month has come unexpectedly, so there are some types of things we will not be able to do *wink wink* If that bothers you, we can meet up next week." The answer I expected was "That's ok if we can't do anything sexual, I still want to hang out with you!" Instead he said "Ok, see you next week then." XDD
What does that even mean? Possible variants might be:
1. he is being considerate and does not want to come over when I am unwell
2. he is a jerk who is only after my body
3. I'm a dumbass for trying to be subtle, I should have just written "We can't do anything sexual, but we can still hang out". But that would mean putting pressure on him in case he didn't actually want to hang out...
Relationships are complicated :/ I am kind of regretting ever getting into it. Sex is boring at best and painful at worst (not that I would know much, though, we only tried doing it like three times and by now I don't want any dicks anywhere near my crotch XD). And it has totally spoiled fandom for me :/ I used to read porn fics and look at pornographic fanart and think 'I can see how this could be fun, I guess!' And now I'm like 'You cheating scumbags, it's not like that irl at all, you all lied to me, you sick bastards! People who have sex should just die, I hate you all!' XDDD
Putting that aside, it's a good thing that the guy didn't come over because today my grandfather died. We were not really close, so I'm not upset, but it's unexpected. I have (well, had until today) two grandfathers. The first one has had cancer and a stroke, and after that he has been steadily losing his mind and getting weaker, so now he can't even stand up from his bed, can't control his bladder and has a catheter, can barely talk - and when he does say something, it's usually swearwords, which is not fun to listen to at all...
Basically he is just a shell of a human being. My grandmother has to care for him on daily basis, and she is old and complains all the time how she can't manage. Call me selfish, but I'm happy that I'm thousand kilometres away from them and don't have to deal with it. If it's money, I can send them money, although grandmother refuses to accept it. But I don't want to quit my job and go back there to care for him. Well, nobody has made such demands so far, but if situation gets worse, who knows.
Anyhow, I though if any grandfather was going to die, that one would be the one. My other grandfather had Parkinson's disease, but he was still sane, could more or less move, the night before he died he actually participated in a family gathering and even had a drink - and next morning he simply didn't wake up. Not a bad way to die, really.
The funeral will be next Saturday, my mother actually said I don't need to come if I can't manage, but I suppose I should try to get there. I have used up all my vacation days, but I guess I can still get a couple of days of unpaid vacation at work, even though it is pretty short notice. The flight will cost something like 300 EUR, but I can still manage that. I'll talk to my uncle at work tomorrow, he is probably also planning to go there. Actually, since we were not close with the grandfather, I don't particularly want to go there, I will have to go there on X-mas anyway... But it would probably be terribly impolite. Oh well, I'll figure it out.