The real scoop...
This is filtered because this is not for public consumption, or even for the consumption of all on my friend's list. So if you're reading this, please don't ever bring it up in any way at any other boards you may frequent with me. It stays here.
They don't think anything is actually wrong
with Jeff's heart. He does have to follow-up with the cardiologist in about
a month for maybe some more tests, definitely a checkup. The party line I'm giving, is
that it was a reaction to one of his medications. Which is technically true.
*sigh* I know I've touched on this before, but the bottom line is that Jeff
is addicted to his pain pills. Big time. Up until about a month ago, his
main pain med was oxycotin. He was up to taking a very high dosage of it,
and it still wasn't working for him for the full amount of time, and even
the time it was working, it was basically taking the edge off, not relieving
him of the pain completely. He got into the habit of taking extra pills,
something I've not been pleased about. At.All. And, inevitably, he'd run out
of meds before he should have, and been without any. Sometimes he could con
the docs into refilling a little early, and sometimes he'd just have to do
without. he would still have some other breakthrough pain meds, but he'd
still suffer withdrawal obviously. Not fun for him and not fun for me, let
me tell you. We've fought over this numerous times, him not getting a lot of
sympathy from me. I'm always fooled at first. think he's just having a bad
day with the pain, until he starts to get really nasty and almost
incapacitated by the pain. Then I catch on, and as much as I feel bad for
him, I get pissed too.
Well, last time he went to the doctor (who's basically not all that aware of
what's going on with jeff overtaking them), he decided to switch him to
methadone. Which takes about three days to build up in your system, and then
should keep you on an even level. It won't necesarrily work better than the
oxycotin, but it should solve the problem of the pain meds wearing off. It
keeps a constant level of them in your system.
Well, last Saturday, his birthday, he was
having one of his "bad days". Which is why I didn't get a chance to call anyone again in LA. :( Again, I didn't think anything of it at first.
Then I checked his methadone bottle. None left. A good week and a half
before he should have run out. I was enraged. Methadone is pretty easy to
overdose on if you abuse it, and he was obviously taking almost double what
he should have been. He could have killed himself. While i was at work, and
he was alone, in the house, with our young children. I won't detail our
entire argument, but trust me when I say it was not pretty.
Anyway, he managed to get his prescription refilled early. He swore that
he'd take it correctly. I think that he was. However, on the third day of
starting it again, after having been off of it for 2 or 3 days, he had his
attack. I left work to rush to the hospital and he hadn't told anyone about
any of this. I told them however, and after the tests ruled out anything
wrong with his heart (so they think), the cardiologist said that it was
probably due to the fluctuation in the levels of the methadone. He went from
too high of a level, to none in his system at all, to a normal level, all in
the course of a week or so. Not good.
I told my mother about it, who while supportive (and a godsend helping out
with the kids), sort of handed me the "you've got to make sure he doesn't do
that anymore" speech. And all I'm thinking too myself is that *I* can't
oversee and take care of EVERYTHING. I love my husband, and I don't want
anything to happen to him, but he's a freakin' adult. I can't watch him evey
second of the day to make sure he's not taking an extra pill. I can't quit
my job and devote my life to doling them out at the appropriate times. I
can't follow him everytime he goes to the bathroom to make sure he hasn't
snuck off to take another pill. i just can't. he's got to take his meds
responsibly without my supervision. This may be the selfish part of me
talking, and I feel bad becuase i know he's in a lot of pain, but you
know...I do everything else. He's gotta do this. Period.
This really scared him though. He really thought he was going to die in the
house all alone with Kelly. I don't think he'll abuse it anymore. At least I
hope not. *sigh*
They don't think anything is actually wrong
with Jeff's heart. He does have to follow-up with the cardiologist in about
a month for maybe some more tests, definitely a checkup. The party line I'm giving, is
that it was a reaction to one of his medications. Which is technically true.
*sigh* I know I've touched on this before, but the bottom line is that Jeff
is addicted to his pain pills. Big time. Up until about a month ago, his
main pain med was oxycotin. He was up to taking a very high dosage of it,
and it still wasn't working for him for the full amount of time, and even
the time it was working, it was basically taking the edge off, not relieving
him of the pain completely. He got into the habit of taking extra pills,
something I've not been pleased about. At.All. And, inevitably, he'd run out
of meds before he should have, and been without any. Sometimes he could con
the docs into refilling a little early, and sometimes he'd just have to do
without. he would still have some other breakthrough pain meds, but he'd
still suffer withdrawal obviously. Not fun for him and not fun for me, let
me tell you. We've fought over this numerous times, him not getting a lot of
sympathy from me. I'm always fooled at first. think he's just having a bad
day with the pain, until he starts to get really nasty and almost
incapacitated by the pain. Then I catch on, and as much as I feel bad for
him, I get pissed too.
Well, last time he went to the doctor (who's basically not all that aware of
what's going on with jeff overtaking them), he decided to switch him to
methadone. Which takes about three days to build up in your system, and then
should keep you on an even level. It won't necesarrily work better than the
oxycotin, but it should solve the problem of the pain meds wearing off. It
keeps a constant level of them in your system.
Well, last Saturday, his birthday, he was
having one of his "bad days". Which is why I didn't get a chance to call anyone again in LA. :( Again, I didn't think anything of it at first.
Then I checked his methadone bottle. None left. A good week and a half
before he should have run out. I was enraged. Methadone is pretty easy to
overdose on if you abuse it, and he was obviously taking almost double what
he should have been. He could have killed himself. While i was at work, and
he was alone, in the house, with our young children. I won't detail our
entire argument, but trust me when I say it was not pretty.
Anyway, he managed to get his prescription refilled early. He swore that
he'd take it correctly. I think that he was. However, on the third day of
starting it again, after having been off of it for 2 or 3 days, he had his
attack. I left work to rush to the hospital and he hadn't told anyone about
any of this. I told them however, and after the tests ruled out anything
wrong with his heart (so they think), the cardiologist said that it was
probably due to the fluctuation in the levels of the methadone. He went from
too high of a level, to none in his system at all, to a normal level, all in
the course of a week or so. Not good.
I told my mother about it, who while supportive (and a godsend helping out
with the kids), sort of handed me the "you've got to make sure he doesn't do
that anymore" speech. And all I'm thinking too myself is that *I* can't
oversee and take care of EVERYTHING. I love my husband, and I don't want
anything to happen to him, but he's a freakin' adult. I can't watch him evey
second of the day to make sure he's not taking an extra pill. I can't quit
my job and devote my life to doling them out at the appropriate times. I
can't follow him everytime he goes to the bathroom to make sure he hasn't
snuck off to take another pill. i just can't. he's got to take his meds
responsibly without my supervision. This may be the selfish part of me
talking, and I feel bad becuase i know he's in a lot of pain, but you
know...I do everything else. He's gotta do this. Period.
This really scared him though. He really thought he was going to die in the
house all alone with Kelly. I don't think he'll abuse it anymore. At least I
hope not. *sigh*