Against the Wind
Regarding Titania's death, I feel a mixture of anger, confusion, and "why do I even try?" Situations like that are big gambles. Do nothing and she would die. Do something, and she still died.
I thought things were on the upswing when I picked her up. No fever. Seemed normal. Rubbing against my hand.
Then suddenly, she was very sick. Sitting there drooling and not knowing me.
I didn't want an unvaccinated cat in my house, but now I think her death was caused by the shots. It was a catch-22.
I can't say that I will do this type of rescue again. Now I have a third cat death during the holidays. Holidays that I've never been that wild about in the first place.
Once again, I pull my heavy cloak around myself and push on. I walk alone against the biting wind. I feel as hard and cold as it is.