THIS is why i wanted to go into Journalism + update
http://news.yahoo.com/iowa-paper-devotes-front-page-fighting-bullying-175921792.html
kid in Iowa comes out, friends turn on kids, family doesn't believe how bad bullying is, kid kill self...
we KNOW that story.
then: Iowa paper decides "enough is fucking enough - knock that shit off"
they are trying to help. are they suceeding? don't know, not the point. they even talk about the movie/documentary "Bully" [did i ever post the link here to sign the petition to make it PG13?]. the point is that MSM is actively trying to help - not just bitching about "how sad" it is that these kids - with often ZERO support and NO ONE on their side, not even parents [the ones who are supposed to love you NO MATTER WHAT] and more negative interactions than anyone not going thru something like that could believe - just "aren't strong enough" to deal.
who the fuck *IS*?!?! no, really. when i went thru something similar, it wasn't everyone, people weren't AFRAID to be around me, i wasn't going to ruin a rep just by my mere presence. i was a "slut", but girls weren't automatically considered "sluts" just by talking to me. and I broke.
how can i blame a kid, younger than i was, in a worse situation, for breaking like i did?
i can't. WE can't. we can blame those who drove him there [though that's often not fair; most people who bully at that age have similar problems], we can blame those who should have supported her but didn't [though it's more fair, it's also blaming another victim - the victim of loss and grief... and most parents WILL, if given time, accept. i have to believe that. my parents eventually did, after all...]. we can - and SHOULD - blame the system, schools with "strict" anti-bullying measures that are never enforced, teachers and admins who just don't/won't/can't deal with it, a system that was designed to reward the "popular", allowing them to do whatever the hell they want, and punish the "unpopular", making them the cause and scapegoat for any problem.
but after a while, blame is useless. the point is to FIX IT. and while i have some ideas, i don't have answers. no one does. [well - there are the assholes who think BS like "curing" your kid of being LGBTQUIA is an "answer", but those people ARE assholes and don't care about kids as PEOPLE - look what many of them do to their OWN kids!]
this is Backlash, people. the "War on Women" is the backlash against feminism, backlash against the very idea that women can and should be something other than baby-factories and free home labor. the "War on Terroism" is backlash against multi-culturalism, backlash against those who want to get rid of xenophobia and just get along. the "Defense of Marriage" is the backlash against those who think being gay [or lesbian or bi or trans or WHATEVER] isn't, CAN'T BE, by definition, a "sin", who think that people are PEOPLE and are able to love whom they want, as they want, so long as CONSENT is honored.
over the past 60-odd years, we as a culture really did make great strides in all three of these areas. women entered the workforce as something approaching equals, able to work in CAREERS, able to aspire to more than secretaries or drudge labor [it has NEVER been the case that most women don't work outside the home! *RICH* women didn't. every other woman HAD TO. fuck, even that Proverbs woman worked and brought in a good income]. women fought for and gained the right to control THEIR OWN bodies, the right to regulate when they had children. women gained the right to consider themselves the equals they [we!] are.
non-white people had a similar arc - gaining the right to the same schools, the same jobs, the same pay, the same expectations.
did both of these fail more than they suceeded? yes. but they were a START.
the LGBTQUIA movement was, in some ways MORE, in other ways LESS successful.
it's now a "hate crime" to attack anyone because zie is anywhere on that spectrum.
of course, it's damned hard to prove.
it's now illegal to discriminate in work, in housing, in medical, in lots of way, against LGBTQUIA.
of course, it's damned hard to prove that discrimination occured, let alone for being LGBTQUIA.
it was MORE successful, in that the majority of the US doesn't believe being gay is "sinful"
it was LESS successful. in that the majority of the US doesn't believe being gay is ok for *them*. it's an insult to be called "gay" [which is almost the same as being called "a girl". sigh]
just me musing on the whole thing. these 3 cultural initiatives - and the backlash against them - have defined my generation, and the generations that follow mine.
UPDATE:
they still don't know what the fuck is going on with my leg. at the moment, they think it MIGHT be "complex regional pain syndrome". but probably not, as the symptoms don't quite match up. so i get to have a 4-hour long bone scan, yay. and then wait SIX MONTHS before i see neuro again. because it's quite okay to leave me in agony, because... i don't know why. whatever the fuck.
so i'm reading a LOT and ignoring everything because it's the best way i know to deal with pain. i do NOT have a better way.
kid in Iowa comes out, friends turn on kids, family doesn't believe how bad bullying is, kid kill self...
we KNOW that story.
then: Iowa paper decides "enough is fucking enough - knock that shit off"
they are trying to help. are they suceeding? don't know, not the point. they even talk about the movie/documentary "Bully" [did i ever post the link here to sign the petition to make it PG13?]. the point is that MSM is actively trying to help - not just bitching about "how sad" it is that these kids - with often ZERO support and NO ONE on their side, not even parents [the ones who are supposed to love you NO MATTER WHAT] and more negative interactions than anyone not going thru something like that could believe - just "aren't strong enough" to deal.
who the fuck *IS*?!?! no, really. when i went thru something similar, it wasn't everyone, people weren't AFRAID to be around me, i wasn't going to ruin a rep just by my mere presence. i was a "slut", but girls weren't automatically considered "sluts" just by talking to me. and I broke.
how can i blame a kid, younger than i was, in a worse situation, for breaking like i did?
i can't. WE can't. we can blame those who drove him there [though that's often not fair; most people who bully at that age have similar problems], we can blame those who should have supported her but didn't [though it's more fair, it's also blaming another victim - the victim of loss and grief... and most parents WILL, if given time, accept. i have to believe that. my parents eventually did, after all...]. we can - and SHOULD - blame the system, schools with "strict" anti-bullying measures that are never enforced, teachers and admins who just don't/won't/can't deal with it, a system that was designed to reward the "popular", allowing them to do whatever the hell they want, and punish the "unpopular", making them the cause and scapegoat for any problem.
but after a while, blame is useless. the point is to FIX IT. and while i have some ideas, i don't have answers. no one does. [well - there are the assholes who think BS like "curing" your kid of being LGBTQUIA is an "answer", but those people ARE assholes and don't care about kids as PEOPLE - look what many of them do to their OWN kids!]
this is Backlash, people. the "War on Women" is the backlash against feminism, backlash against the very idea that women can and should be something other than baby-factories and free home labor. the "War on Terroism" is backlash against multi-culturalism, backlash against those who want to get rid of xenophobia and just get along. the "Defense of Marriage" is the backlash against those who think being gay [or lesbian or bi or trans or WHATEVER] isn't, CAN'T BE, by definition, a "sin", who think that people are PEOPLE and are able to love whom they want, as they want, so long as CONSENT is honored.
over the past 60-odd years, we as a culture really did make great strides in all three of these areas. women entered the workforce as something approaching equals, able to work in CAREERS, able to aspire to more than secretaries or drudge labor [it has NEVER been the case that most women don't work outside the home! *RICH* women didn't. every other woman HAD TO. fuck, even that Proverbs woman worked and brought in a good income]. women fought for and gained the right to control THEIR OWN bodies, the right to regulate when they had children. women gained the right to consider themselves the equals they [we!] are.
non-white people had a similar arc - gaining the right to the same schools, the same jobs, the same pay, the same expectations.
did both of these fail more than they suceeded? yes. but they were a START.
the LGBTQUIA movement was, in some ways MORE, in other ways LESS successful.
it's now a "hate crime" to attack anyone because zie is anywhere on that spectrum.
of course, it's damned hard to prove.
it's now illegal to discriminate in work, in housing, in medical, in lots of way, against LGBTQUIA.
of course, it's damned hard to prove that discrimination occured, let alone for being LGBTQUIA.
it was MORE successful, in that the majority of the US doesn't believe being gay is "sinful"
it was LESS successful. in that the majority of the US doesn't believe being gay is ok for *them*. it's an insult to be called "gay" [which is almost the same as being called "a girl". sigh]
just me musing on the whole thing. these 3 cultural initiatives - and the backlash against them - have defined my generation, and the generations that follow mine.
UPDATE:
they still don't know what the fuck is going on with my leg. at the moment, they think it MIGHT be "complex regional pain syndrome". but probably not, as the symptoms don't quite match up. so i get to have a 4-hour long bone scan, yay. and then wait SIX MONTHS before i see neuro again. because it's quite okay to leave me in agony, because... i don't know why. whatever the fuck.
so i'm reading a LOT and ignoring everything because it's the best way i know to deal with pain. i do NOT have a better way.