Whatchya Gonna Do
I should be sleeping but i resort to lj to occupy my time. im tired too thats the funny thing. working two jobs takes a toll on me, but so far it has been worth it. yesterday was the first day off i had since the saturday after my birthday bash. it was good but it really wasnt a day off. I went to new york to see Rachael Ray, and it was a great time! If u ever have the chance to see her, go! It's going to air on memorial day, and i will be on tv a good amount cause i was in the third row by the isle. I won some kool shit too. All in All it was a great day but by the time I got out of there I was exhausted. I didn't get home until after ten and I was up since 6:30- gross! I love New York tho, it's always a good time.
I can't wait for the summer to come! I wanna drink on my deck so bad!! It feels like yesterday that summer was here, and I can't believe its coming again soon! Last summer was awesome though. One of the best summers I had in a LONG time. Hopefully this one is just as great.
I dunno whether it's my age or the experience I have, but I feel like I've grown up alot in the past year. Things that would devastate me two years ago, mean nothing to me now. Like problems or feelings im just like ehh, whatever. What doesn't kill you def makes you stronger. I feel like I've been through hell and back. Im def. liking it though- Being over some things and feeling careless. It's less stress i need to deal with!
I've realized that I always go the extra mile for people when I don't have to. Or shouldn't. I consider myself a nice guy, but i feel like its getting old. Eventhough its who I am, i feel like i shouldnt do it anymore. It hasnt gotten me many places. Nice guys finish last, and i am a living example of that. From what ive experienced, guys usualy choose the bad over the nice. I dunno what it is, but it has happened. I don't let myself like many people either, because of the lack of tust or getting hurt. When i open myself up to people, i tend to get hurt. Thats mainly why I have trouble expressing my feelings or talking bout my personal life. When I let people in, i always get fucked over. I've fallen, like Hardcore head over heels, for 2 guys in my life, and got hurt both times. I always tend to come in second somehow. And somehow I always feel like I have to compete for someones love. And I shouldnt, because love shouldnt have to be a competition. I believe in working and trying hard for it, but not competing for it. Both times it has happened too. Maybe its just a coincidence, or maybe thats how my life is meant to be- who knows. All I know is that I'm tired of it. I know I dont need a man to make me happy, but its nice to know that someone out there is yours and vice versa. I am a happy person, and I don't mind being single, it just gets lonely at times. If Im meant to be single forever, then I'll accept that. Hopefully thats not the case though lol.
Friendships are another thing. It's something thats been on my mind as of late. I know I have the greatest/sanest bestfriends in the world. i know this. And there are a select few that i have dropped for certain reasons, or i just don't care if their in my life or not. But there are some that i care for alot, and they dont see it or get it. This leads me back to going the extra mile for people. They dont acknowledge it, or thank me. Sometimes I think they wouldnt care if i lived or died. Its ashame too because I hold these people close to my heart. Im tired of driving on oneway friendships, Im ready to put it in park. i dunno what to do nemore. :sigh::
I hate when people put up bulletins on their mysapce asking for comments or "love." Its like a desperate cry for attention. Dont get me wrong I love bulletins. I love reading my friends thoughts and feelings, or their fun surveys. It just annoys me when people feed off of comments for attention. People are just so typical anymore. especially on there. and no offense to my friends who do it- im just ranting lol
Haha and then you do comment on a picture or just their page and they deny the approval. I LOVE that.... its actually a slap in the face, or like a rejection. thats a good example of me being too nice. Why should I waste my time AND yours?
I think its funny when you see people you went to school with, and they ask you twenty questions about your life and how've you been, but they probably said a whole two words to you in the 4 years of high school. Does that make sense to anybody else? like "OMG we need to hangout!!!" oh do we really? ya know, cuz we were so tight and everything. rightttt
I know this entry is prolly completely random, but its just thoughts i needed to let out lol. dont mind meeeeeee : )
ok i def need togoto bed considering i work both jobs tomorrow! Eeek!
Goodnight Yall!
I can't wait for the summer to come! I wanna drink on my deck so bad!! It feels like yesterday that summer was here, and I can't believe its coming again soon! Last summer was awesome though. One of the best summers I had in a LONG time. Hopefully this one is just as great.
I dunno whether it's my age or the experience I have, but I feel like I've grown up alot in the past year. Things that would devastate me two years ago, mean nothing to me now. Like problems or feelings im just like ehh, whatever. What doesn't kill you def makes you stronger. I feel like I've been through hell and back. Im def. liking it though- Being over some things and feeling careless. It's less stress i need to deal with!
I've realized that I always go the extra mile for people when I don't have to. Or shouldn't. I consider myself a nice guy, but i feel like its getting old. Eventhough its who I am, i feel like i shouldnt do it anymore. It hasnt gotten me many places. Nice guys finish last, and i am a living example of that. From what ive experienced, guys usualy choose the bad over the nice. I dunno what it is, but it has happened. I don't let myself like many people either, because of the lack of tust or getting hurt. When i open myself up to people, i tend to get hurt. Thats mainly why I have trouble expressing my feelings or talking bout my personal life. When I let people in, i always get fucked over. I've fallen, like Hardcore head over heels, for 2 guys in my life, and got hurt both times. I always tend to come in second somehow. And somehow I always feel like I have to compete for someones love. And I shouldnt, because love shouldnt have to be a competition. I believe in working and trying hard for it, but not competing for it. Both times it has happened too. Maybe its just a coincidence, or maybe thats how my life is meant to be- who knows. All I know is that I'm tired of it. I know I dont need a man to make me happy, but its nice to know that someone out there is yours and vice versa. I am a happy person, and I don't mind being single, it just gets lonely at times. If Im meant to be single forever, then I'll accept that. Hopefully thats not the case though lol.
Friendships are another thing. It's something thats been on my mind as of late. I know I have the greatest/sanest bestfriends in the world. i know this. And there are a select few that i have dropped for certain reasons, or i just don't care if their in my life or not. But there are some that i care for alot, and they dont see it or get it. This leads me back to going the extra mile for people. They dont acknowledge it, or thank me. Sometimes I think they wouldnt care if i lived or died. Its ashame too because I hold these people close to my heart. Im tired of driving on oneway friendships, Im ready to put it in park. i dunno what to do nemore. :sigh::
I hate when people put up bulletins on their mysapce asking for comments or "love." Its like a desperate cry for attention. Dont get me wrong I love bulletins. I love reading my friends thoughts and feelings, or their fun surveys. It just annoys me when people feed off of comments for attention. People are just so typical anymore. especially on there. and no offense to my friends who do it- im just ranting lol
Haha and then you do comment on a picture or just their page and they deny the approval. I LOVE that.... its actually a slap in the face, or like a rejection. thats a good example of me being too nice. Why should I waste my time AND yours?
I think its funny when you see people you went to school with, and they ask you twenty questions about your life and how've you been, but they probably said a whole two words to you in the 4 years of high school. Does that make sense to anybody else? like "OMG we need to hangout!!!" oh do we really? ya know, cuz we were so tight and everything. rightttt
I know this entry is prolly completely random, but its just thoughts i needed to let out lol. dont mind meeeeeee : )
ok i def need togoto bed considering i work both jobs tomorrow! Eeek!
Goodnight Yall!