(no subject)
So… in watching guys at the gym the last few years I have decided that guys workout style totally reflects their sex style.
My fave of late is Grimace “left eye” McGrimace… I’m absolutely convinced the grimace-y face he makes as he pulls the weights is exactly the face he makes when he’s fucking. Determined, teeth bared, left eye crossing ever so slightly and making a quiet grunt as he methodically does each rep. He’s in control. He’s slow and steady. He works a little harder with each pump as he grimaces and that eye crosses just a little more until that last rep where his body is so tight and struggle-y and he looks like he’s about to burst. It’s HOT! I love watching him work out.
George Jefferson… he walks around the gym all cocksure and strutty, you know… ummm like George Jefferson on the Jeffersons. He spends massive amounts of time strutting around and talking… starting out conversations with a fist bump and “Yo!”, but… but… I’ve never seen him touch a weight. I bet he doesn’t get laid either. He prolly walks the walk in the singles bar, fist bumps and “yo’s” a lot but can never land a babe cause he’s spending so much time making sure he looks like he’s 2 kool 4 skool.
Speedy Gonzalez… he attacks the weights with speed and little thought for form or style. Rep1rep2rep3rep4rep5rep6rep7rep8… he’s just doing it as fast and hard as he can. He’s done and moved on before I really know he was there.
Zen master… he approaches the machines slowly and I swear he does a little prayer beforehand, or maybe that is stretching of some sort. His eyes are closed, he’s clearly working to achieve nirvana. He grabs the handle of the weight machine and runs his fingers over it trying to get just the perfect grip. He takes forever to finish his set as he is *one* with the machine and is aware of every movement he makes. He looks good but I find myself always bored waiting for him to finish up and go.
Little Mouse just sort of timidly comes up to the machine and very sort of just piff piff piffs through it. He’s a tiny little thing, scurrying about from machine to machine. You kind of know he’s there, doing sort of cute little half reps. He’s in and out and you’d hardly even known he was ever there except for that itty bitty bit of sweat or something left behind.
Big Ass Steroid Muscle Freak… he’s loud. He makes sure *everyone* in the gym knows just how hard he is pumping. He goes all out and goes max weight on everything… he watches himself in the mirror and strains hard and grunts and groans really really loud, interspersed with OH YEAH, THAT’S IT, YEAH YEAH ***GRUNTGROWLGRUNT*** YEEEEEEAAAAAH!!!!!!! He’s sort of hot in a testosterone muscle ape sort of way and he clearly has something to prove. Oh, and he also has an ittttty bitttttty little dick, based on my previous completely scientific observations.
Spaz… he’s like a little epileptic with the weights. *Total* spaz, like… is that a weight machine, or did you accidentally hook up to an electric chair? He’s always contorted in to all sorts of weird ummm… contortions, even when the machine is a basic “sit up straight and push this” sort of thing. Sometimes when he is going at it, totally spazzing and contorting, I kind of want to go over and stick a piece of wood (not mine) or something in his mouth just to make sure he doesn’t swallow his tongue.
So yeah… many different types to watch… some very very hot, some very very not… and I’m sure their workouts match the way they have sex… I’m sure of it.
Wait... me? my workout style? it kind of goes back and forth between two types…
On my good days I’m confident, in control, doing what feels right and careful not to hurt myself… slow and steady wins the race… that’s me! Me and the Pointer Sisters loving that slow hand and easy touch… However, I usually stop before I’m really done cause ultimately I’m just kinda lazy and the initial rush of the machine has already faded, and I’m prolly hungry or need to go to the bathroom.
Other times I’m not so much on my game and all low esteem-y… you know, sort of all… rep 1… rep 2… hmmmmm, I don’t think this machine likes me. I bet this machine totally just settled to let me use it. Sigh, I’m sure it wishes that hot muscle guy over there would come and use it instead… god, why am I here? oh wait, ummmm rep 5… rep 6… am I doing this right? I don’t think I’m doing this right. This isn’t working. I hate this. Pfft… this machine is totally not into me… rep 8… ow… OWWW!!! Easy there cowboy… rep 9… hmmm… I wonder what I should have for dinner tonight… oh man, I hope this machine isn’t going to want to stay and keep working out all night. Ummmm… I’m meeting friends for dinner, that’s it! Rep 10… ok, I’m done, can I go now?
:)
My fave of late is Grimace “left eye” McGrimace… I’m absolutely convinced the grimace-y face he makes as he pulls the weights is exactly the face he makes when he’s fucking. Determined, teeth bared, left eye crossing ever so slightly and making a quiet grunt as he methodically does each rep. He’s in control. He’s slow and steady. He works a little harder with each pump as he grimaces and that eye crosses just a little more until that last rep where his body is so tight and struggle-y and he looks like he’s about to burst. It’s HOT! I love watching him work out.
George Jefferson… he walks around the gym all cocksure and strutty, you know… ummm like George Jefferson on the Jeffersons. He spends massive amounts of time strutting around and talking… starting out conversations with a fist bump and “Yo!”, but… but… I’ve never seen him touch a weight. I bet he doesn’t get laid either. He prolly walks the walk in the singles bar, fist bumps and “yo’s” a lot but can never land a babe cause he’s spending so much time making sure he looks like he’s 2 kool 4 skool.
Speedy Gonzalez… he attacks the weights with speed and little thought for form or style. Rep1rep2rep3rep4rep5rep6rep7rep8… he’s just doing it as fast and hard as he can. He’s done and moved on before I really know he was there.
Zen master… he approaches the machines slowly and I swear he does a little prayer beforehand, or maybe that is stretching of some sort. His eyes are closed, he’s clearly working to achieve nirvana. He grabs the handle of the weight machine and runs his fingers over it trying to get just the perfect grip. He takes forever to finish his set as he is *one* with the machine and is aware of every movement he makes. He looks good but I find myself always bored waiting for him to finish up and go.
Little Mouse just sort of timidly comes up to the machine and very sort of just piff piff piffs through it. He’s a tiny little thing, scurrying about from machine to machine. You kind of know he’s there, doing sort of cute little half reps. He’s in and out and you’d hardly even known he was ever there except for that itty bitty bit of sweat or something left behind.
Big Ass Steroid Muscle Freak… he’s loud. He makes sure *everyone* in the gym knows just how hard he is pumping. He goes all out and goes max weight on everything… he watches himself in the mirror and strains hard and grunts and groans really really loud, interspersed with OH YEAH, THAT’S IT, YEAH YEAH ***GRUNTGROWLGRUNT*** YEEEEEEAAAAAH!!!!!!! He’s sort of hot in a testosterone muscle ape sort of way and he clearly has something to prove. Oh, and he also has an ittttty bitttttty little dick, based on my previous completely scientific observations.
Spaz… he’s like a little epileptic with the weights. *Total* spaz, like… is that a weight machine, or did you accidentally hook up to an electric chair? He’s always contorted in to all sorts of weird ummm… contortions, even when the machine is a basic “sit up straight and push this” sort of thing. Sometimes when he is going at it, totally spazzing and contorting, I kind of want to go over and stick a piece of wood (not mine) or something in his mouth just to make sure he doesn’t swallow his tongue.
So yeah… many different types to watch… some very very hot, some very very not… and I’m sure their workouts match the way they have sex… I’m sure of it.
Wait... me? my workout style? it kind of goes back and forth between two types…
On my good days I’m confident, in control, doing what feels right and careful not to hurt myself… slow and steady wins the race… that’s me! Me and the Pointer Sisters loving that slow hand and easy touch… However, I usually stop before I’m really done cause ultimately I’m just kinda lazy and the initial rush of the machine has already faded, and I’m prolly hungry or need to go to the bathroom.
Other times I’m not so much on my game and all low esteem-y… you know, sort of all… rep 1… rep 2… hmmmmm, I don’t think this machine likes me. I bet this machine totally just settled to let me use it. Sigh, I’m sure it wishes that hot muscle guy over there would come and use it instead… god, why am I here? oh wait, ummmm rep 5… rep 6… am I doing this right? I don’t think I’m doing this right. This isn’t working. I hate this. Pfft… this machine is totally not into me… rep 8… ow… OWWW!!! Easy there cowboy… rep 9… hmmm… I wonder what I should have for dinner tonight… oh man, I hope this machine isn’t going to want to stay and keep working out all night. Ummmm… I’m meeting friends for dinner, that’s it! Rep 10… ok, I’m done, can I go now?
:)