She may smile, but No one knows what she's feeling inside.

[dendra]

I'm always under constant stress.
I hate it but i have been stressed since daddy isn't here.
Why?

because i want to help my mom but i want to get out!
but i worry to much cause i know my brother won't do anything.
i worry about my mom.
sometimes i worry about my sister and brother.
I worry about my friends i barely see...

I worry about my love constantly.
i feel like i can't do anything to help though...

to help anyone, why?
Cause i'm trying to help myself.
Trying to grow up just a little, and move forward with my life.

as of right now, i'm going no where...
well thats what it feels like...

I did get an award at work(just a little badge) called the Homer award, since i work at home depot.
i love my job though.

The stress i am constantly under, is me getting my shit together.
to better myself.
I know i can do it.

But i still have fears i'm losing my sweetheart.
and it does hurt a lot in my chest.
to the point i don't feel like eating...
but even if i don't want to eat, i won't let myself starve.

I know i'm so lame...
I just need out.