never seen a bluer sky?
as i step into the cold of night, the first thing i see through the tears in my eyes is the sky. and despite of all sayings, and despite of how i felt, it is perfect.
all the moisture must have been frozen out of the air. there is nary a cloud to be seen, and all the stars of the galaxy glitter with a heretic brilliance i have never before witnessed.
they seem to mock me, all together, pointing at me in their incandescent glory.
"look at us! we are legion, and you are alone. we are the many, divided by the great void, and you... you are only one, and lost in the midst of a million lives. we are surrounded by the heartbeat of the universe - you have no heart that beats for you at all."
and as my tears crystallize to tiny orbs of ice on my cheeks, the truth is finally revealed.
there are no shades of grey.
the brutal neon luminosity of the stars and the velvet black of the night sky; the cutting cold of the snow and the inviting numbness of the black windows and what could lie beyond - lives worth living, hearts worth beating... but not for me. never for me.
the world is black and white. which is better, none can tell.
striding back from a place i once thought to be warm, from the person i once thought to be home, i wish for some more snow. the snow on the ground is frozen rock solid ...[i have a vision of me, lying in the midst of a nightly blizzard, making an angel in the snow. i might not be able to see farther than 10 metres in the storm of white on black, but i am happy. i might be cold, but i am not alone. i might be out in the woods, but i have with me an angel, or rather, two angels. this is the first time i'm doing something like this. i always thought it would be silly, but now i know better. actually, this is fun. life is good.]... but maybe that's alright. what would soft snow be good for, anyway?
time to go home, time to pack. time to get dressed, time to spend. so much time, all of a sudden.
more time than i ever desired. more than i could ever possibly use.
all the moisture must have been frozen out of the air. there is nary a cloud to be seen, and all the stars of the galaxy glitter with a heretic brilliance i have never before witnessed.
they seem to mock me, all together, pointing at me in their incandescent glory.
"look at us! we are legion, and you are alone. we are the many, divided by the great void, and you... you are only one, and lost in the midst of a million lives. we are surrounded by the heartbeat of the universe - you have no heart that beats for you at all."
and as my tears crystallize to tiny orbs of ice on my cheeks, the truth is finally revealed.
there are no shades of grey.
the brutal neon luminosity of the stars and the velvet black of the night sky; the cutting cold of the snow and the inviting numbness of the black windows and what could lie beyond - lives worth living, hearts worth beating... but not for me. never for me.
the world is black and white. which is better, none can tell.
striding back from a place i once thought to be warm, from the person i once thought to be home, i wish for some more snow. the snow on the ground is frozen rock solid ...[i have a vision of me, lying in the midst of a nightly blizzard, making an angel in the snow. i might not be able to see farther than 10 metres in the storm of white on black, but i am happy. i might be cold, but i am not alone. i might be out in the woods, but i have with me an angel, or rather, two angels. this is the first time i'm doing something like this. i always thought it would be silly, but now i know better. actually, this is fun. life is good.]... but maybe that's alright. what would soft snow be good for, anyway?
time to go home, time to pack. time to get dressed, time to spend. so much time, all of a sudden.
more time than i ever desired. more than i could ever possibly use.