Midnight Retractions
I must resist the urge to say things late at night. Under the oppressive influence of alcohol or sleep deprivation. When speaking at these times I can't help but trip over the words, like potholes in a pavement, until to look in the mirror is to be confronted by a frankly obscene mess of broken skull fragments and greenyellow bruises, and barely make sense of it as my brain trickles slowly out the chasmic yawning split down the side of my head. D'yknow what I mean?
Except I like it. I have a built-in fetish for auto-depreciation, making myself into a spectacle, an object of easy ridicule. I enjoy making mistakes, I appreciate and savour them. My interminal therapy taught me to be proud of that which I achieve often, so I revel in failed conversations and social blunders make me beam with joy.
If you've been on the receiving end, recently, my apologies are vague and unsubstantiated by the facts, despite my genuine regret. The slow motion car crash of my life is never premeditated, every accident is comprehensively unintentional and deeply distressing in hindsight. I just can't apologise for them, because I promised a small desperate child a good few years ago that I'd never stop making them, just for him. To honour his memory, and to humour his corpse.
Except I like it. I have a built-in fetish for auto-depreciation, making myself into a spectacle, an object of easy ridicule. I enjoy making mistakes, I appreciate and savour them. My interminal therapy taught me to be proud of that which I achieve often, so I revel in failed conversations and social blunders make me beam with joy.
If you've been on the receiving end, recently, my apologies are vague and unsubstantiated by the facts, despite my genuine regret. The slow motion car crash of my life is never premeditated, every accident is comprehensively unintentional and deeply distressing in hindsight. I just can't apologise for them, because I promised a small desperate child a good few years ago that I'd never stop making them, just for him. To honour his memory, and to humour his corpse.