funny, despair and bliss feel the same, just opposite
I had a moment of absolute, gut-wrenching despair last night. While doing the dishes, as these things are wont to happen, and fortunately B was in the living room or I might have taken out my frustration on said poor, blameless dishes.
Why the fuck is homo/bi/asexuality still an issue? Why? I don't get it, and I feel so complicit to it because I forgive people for being homophobic where I wouldn't forgive them for being racist or sexist, because I read people's "homosexuality is a sin" issues and get angry not at their opinion, not really - no, I'm angry that I have to be angry because they're normal. Normal!
How the hell is it normal to be uncomfortable with people of another sexuality than your own? How did we end up in this place, where I feel so happy seeing someone who's out, a celebrity who's comfortable with their not-heterosexuality, or where I get positively THRILLED to see gay characters in television or in books, or where I'm giddy when a reality-show contestant introduces their same-sex spouse. Fuck. I hate that these things make me ecstatic because there's nothing special about them. But there is, because of the way the world is.
And I read about my friends. Bisexual woman having to defend their locker-room etiquette. Gay men having to say "fuck it" to be physically affectionate in public. And I feel for them and - god damn it, I don't even understand why we're in this place.
I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it, and I hate that all this hate makes me unable to talk to people who fill that "normal", because I just want to claw at them and say "why? why?" until they get it.I can't agree to disagree, I can't respect your opinion, or your faith, or that our society is open to "dialogue" between the "two sides", because your side is hurting my side. Every fucking day, in more ways than you or I or any one person can understand. So no, I don't want to be sensible about it. I don't want to invite you in to talk about your issues, because everything you stand for is founded on hate, hate, hate, and I am done making nice.
Why the fuck is homo/bi/asexuality still an issue? Why? I don't get it, and I feel so complicit to it because I forgive people for being homophobic where I wouldn't forgive them for being racist or sexist, because I read people's "homosexuality is a sin" issues and get angry not at their opinion, not really - no, I'm angry that I have to be angry because they're normal. Normal!
How the hell is it normal to be uncomfortable with people of another sexuality than your own? How did we end up in this place, where I feel so happy seeing someone who's out, a celebrity who's comfortable with their not-heterosexuality, or where I get positively THRILLED to see gay characters in television or in books, or where I'm giddy when a reality-show contestant introduces their same-sex spouse. Fuck. I hate that these things make me ecstatic because there's nothing special about them. But there is, because of the way the world is.
And I read about my friends. Bisexual woman having to defend their locker-room etiquette. Gay men having to say "fuck it" to be physically affectionate in public. And I feel for them and - god damn it, I don't even understand why we're in this place.
I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it, and I hate that all this hate makes me unable to talk to people who fill that "normal", because I just want to claw at them and say "why? why?" until they get it.I can't agree to disagree, I can't respect your opinion, or your faith, or that our society is open to "dialogue" between the "two sides", because your side is hurting my side. Every fucking day, in more ways than you or I or any one person can understand. So no, I don't want to be sensible about it. I don't want to invite you in to talk about your issues, because everything you stand for is founded on hate, hate, hate, and I am done making nice.