Torchwood Fic: Five Birthdays Jack Remembered (WiaD)
Title: Five Birthdays Jack Remembered
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1000
Prompt: A "five things" piece.
Added element: An alcoholic drink, a movie, an animal, a holiday, and a mode of transportation. One per section.
A/N: This was my winning entry for round 2.11 of writerinadrawer. I'm a little underwhelmed by it, but then, three out of the five pieces were light-ish in tone, and I'm in a bit of a dark-fic mode right now. My favourite thing about it is Jack's discussion of what it is to be female, and the fact that the starting line - "one more" - parallels the idea of "one more year", which I didn't realize until afterwards.
~
30
"One more martini and the robots will have to sweep you out with the trash."
Jack didn't look up from his drink, just twirled the stick and olive, sloshing liquid up the sides of the glass. "That's kind of the point."
He felt a body settle in the barstool beside him and glanced over. Halfheartedly registering the low cut of her shirt, he flashed a grin. "Gonna join me?"
"In getting swept out? No thanks," she said, ordering an identical drink. "Can I ask what an attractive Time Agent like yourself is doing in a dump like this?"
Jack sighed and threw back his glass, setting it down with a clink. "Ori…"
"Don't Ori me," she snapped. "You missed your last two briefings. And don't give me any of that 'it's my birthday and I'm celebrating' crap you gave Warren. You haven't celebrated-" She cut herself off abruptly.
Jack stood abruptly, swaying before catching the edge of the bar. "Tell me," he demanded, "when did I last celebrate, Ori? Twenty-nine? Twenty-eight? Because I can't fucking remember." He leaned into her, challenging her to answer, but she said nothing. "That's what I thought."
35
"One more crappy chick-flick and I'll jump out the TARIDS mid-flight."
"Just Miss Congeniality," Rose said, poking him in the ribs. "It's good! Women in swimsuits competing to be Miss Universe!"
"Really?" Jack asked, suddenly curious. "I didn't realize you had Miss Universe competitions back then. How did they define being female?"
"'Scuse me?" Rose blinked.
"Is it the gender than bears the child? Or the one who donates the most cytoplasm to the zygote?" Jack looked up at Rose's blank expression. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
"Not really."
"I have an idea."
Jack and Rose looked away from each other. The Doctor was standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.
"How about you forget this and I'll take you out to the Restaurant-On-The-Edge-Of-A-Black-Hole by Rlletic Five," he said, leaning in with a grin. "I hear they make a fabulous birthday cake."
"It's not my birthday," Rose protested, and then looked at Jack. "You didn't say!"
"I didn't know," Jack shrugged, watching the Doctor warily. "Is it?"
"According to your personal time, you've been alive for thirty-five standard years. Good enough?"
Jack nodded and stood up, hauling Rose up beside him. "Fair enough. But no vanilla ice cream."
175
"One more whiff of your pig-sty stench and I think I'll throw up." The Master looked a little astonished at the thought. "How frightfully human. Perhaps a shower is in order? I myself prefer to relax in the tub, though a quick, efficient shower can be quite invigorating, as well."
Jack watched warily as the Master paced in front of him.
"Such an enigma, such an enigma," he murmured, tapping a finger to his lips. "A lot of people would pay a lot of money for your gift."
"Curse," Jack bit out.
"Blessing, curse, whatever." The Master waved a hand. "Two sides of the same coin, isn't it? A weed is just a flower in the wrong place." He stepped up to Jack, tapping a finger against his bare chest.
"You're a weed, no doubt, but can we find the right place for you? Hmmm? You could be useful to me, if you'd allow it. A man of one hundred and seventy-five years must have some wisdom."
"Seventy-four," Jack ground out.
The Master beamed. "Oh no, not today. Today's your birthday, didn't you know?" He leaned into Jack's ear. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Ja-ack…"
175
"One more call about a weevil that turns out to be a kid in a mask," Jack grumbled, "and I'm going to get Halloween outlawed."
Ianto tossed a packet of M&Ms at him. "Could be worse. Could be as popular as it is in the States." They'd stopped at St. Fagan's, since the call had been nearby, and checked out the haunted house. "Wait here."
"What's this?" Jack asked, amused, when Ianto returned from the kitchenette and settled himself on the couch beside him.
"A very tiny birthday cake." Ianto proffered the cupcake. "Happy demisemiseptcentennial, Jack."
"Demisemi what?" Jack said, laughing and taking the cupcake.
"One hundred and seventy-fifth."
Jack stared down at the candle, flickering as it dropped little beads of wax onto the icing. "Thanks," he said softly. "How'd you sort it out?"
"Worked it out from your Boeshane birthday and what you told me about their calendar." Ianto shrugged.
"It's on Halloween?" Jack asked, wrinkling his nose.
"Just this year. It'll move around."
"Ah," Jack said, running his finger through the icing and holding it up to Ianto's lips. "Shame. I like you sweet."
5000
"One more trip in the TARDIS after this and then I'm kicking you out."
"You always say that."
"Are you implying I don't keep my promises?"
"Absolutely," Jack grinned, looping his arm through the Doctor's. "Don't argue with your elders, now."
The Doctor looked like he sorely wanted to argue, but instead he opened the door. The two somewhat-immortals stepped out onto Verasti Four.
"We never made it to the Restaurant-At-The-Edge-Of-A-Black-Hole," Jack said thoughtfully.
The Doctor gave him a considering look. "Is it your birthday?"
"Can't tell?"
"It's blurred. You've been around too long."
"You make me sound like I'm past my due-date."
"Is there any denying it?"
They laughed as they came to the edge of a silver pool, full of natural, bubbling mercury, pouring out of the planet's core. Humans couldn't visit it; the vapors were too toxic.
Jack had stopped thinking of himself as entirely human well over a thousand birthdays ago.
"It is," he said. "Five millennia." He knelt down and touched the surface. It dented in and then broke around his finger.
"You've done well with them," said the repeat-saviour-of-the-universe. "Most people would waste it."
"Thanks," Jack said softly, peering at his nebulous reflection in the pool. "I've tried."
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1000
Prompt: A "five things" piece.
Added element: An alcoholic drink, a movie, an animal, a holiday, and a mode of transportation. One per section.
A/N: This was my winning entry for round 2.11 of writerinadrawer. I'm a little underwhelmed by it, but then, three out of the five pieces were light-ish in tone, and I'm in a bit of a dark-fic mode right now. My favourite thing about it is Jack's discussion of what it is to be female, and the fact that the starting line - "one more" - parallels the idea of "one more year", which I didn't realize until afterwards.
~
30
"One more martini and the robots will have to sweep you out with the trash."
Jack didn't look up from his drink, just twirled the stick and olive, sloshing liquid up the sides of the glass. "That's kind of the point."
He felt a body settle in the barstool beside him and glanced over. Halfheartedly registering the low cut of her shirt, he flashed a grin. "Gonna join me?"
"In getting swept out? No thanks," she said, ordering an identical drink. "Can I ask what an attractive Time Agent like yourself is doing in a dump like this?"
Jack sighed and threw back his glass, setting it down with a clink. "Ori…"
"Don't Ori me," she snapped. "You missed your last two briefings. And don't give me any of that 'it's my birthday and I'm celebrating' crap you gave Warren. You haven't celebrated-" She cut herself off abruptly.
Jack stood abruptly, swaying before catching the edge of the bar. "Tell me," he demanded, "when did I last celebrate, Ori? Twenty-nine? Twenty-eight? Because I can't fucking remember." He leaned into her, challenging her to answer, but she said nothing. "That's what I thought."
35
"One more crappy chick-flick and I'll jump out the TARIDS mid-flight."
"Just Miss Congeniality," Rose said, poking him in the ribs. "It's good! Women in swimsuits competing to be Miss Universe!"
"Really?" Jack asked, suddenly curious. "I didn't realize you had Miss Universe competitions back then. How did they define being female?"
"'Scuse me?" Rose blinked.
"Is it the gender than bears the child? Or the one who donates the most cytoplasm to the zygote?" Jack looked up at Rose's blank expression. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
"Not really."
"I have an idea."
Jack and Rose looked away from each other. The Doctor was standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.
"How about you forget this and I'll take you out to the Restaurant-On-The-Edge-Of-A-Black-Hole by Rlletic Five," he said, leaning in with a grin. "I hear they make a fabulous birthday cake."
"It's not my birthday," Rose protested, and then looked at Jack. "You didn't say!"
"I didn't know," Jack shrugged, watching the Doctor warily. "Is it?"
"According to your personal time, you've been alive for thirty-five standard years. Good enough?"
Jack nodded and stood up, hauling Rose up beside him. "Fair enough. But no vanilla ice cream."
175
"One more whiff of your pig-sty stench and I think I'll throw up." The Master looked a little astonished at the thought. "How frightfully human. Perhaps a shower is in order? I myself prefer to relax in the tub, though a quick, efficient shower can be quite invigorating, as well."
Jack watched warily as the Master paced in front of him.
"Such an enigma, such an enigma," he murmured, tapping a finger to his lips. "A lot of people would pay a lot of money for your gift."
"Curse," Jack bit out.
"Blessing, curse, whatever." The Master waved a hand. "Two sides of the same coin, isn't it? A weed is just a flower in the wrong place." He stepped up to Jack, tapping a finger against his bare chest.
"You're a weed, no doubt, but can we find the right place for you? Hmmm? You could be useful to me, if you'd allow it. A man of one hundred and seventy-five years must have some wisdom."
"Seventy-four," Jack ground out.
The Master beamed. "Oh no, not today. Today's your birthday, didn't you know?" He leaned into Jack's ear. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Ja-ack…"
175
"One more call about a weevil that turns out to be a kid in a mask," Jack grumbled, "and I'm going to get Halloween outlawed."
Ianto tossed a packet of M&Ms at him. "Could be worse. Could be as popular as it is in the States." They'd stopped at St. Fagan's, since the call had been nearby, and checked out the haunted house. "Wait here."
"What's this?" Jack asked, amused, when Ianto returned from the kitchenette and settled himself on the couch beside him.
"A very tiny birthday cake." Ianto proffered the cupcake. "Happy demisemiseptcentennial, Jack."
"Demisemi what?" Jack said, laughing and taking the cupcake.
"One hundred and seventy-fifth."
Jack stared down at the candle, flickering as it dropped little beads of wax onto the icing. "Thanks," he said softly. "How'd you sort it out?"
"Worked it out from your Boeshane birthday and what you told me about their calendar." Ianto shrugged.
"It's on Halloween?" Jack asked, wrinkling his nose.
"Just this year. It'll move around."
"Ah," Jack said, running his finger through the icing and holding it up to Ianto's lips. "Shame. I like you sweet."
5000
"One more trip in the TARDIS after this and then I'm kicking you out."
"You always say that."
"Are you implying I don't keep my promises?"
"Absolutely," Jack grinned, looping his arm through the Doctor's. "Don't argue with your elders, now."
The Doctor looked like he sorely wanted to argue, but instead he opened the door. The two somewhat-immortals stepped out onto Verasti Four.
"We never made it to the Restaurant-At-The-Edge-Of-A-Black-Hole," Jack said thoughtfully.
The Doctor gave him a considering look. "Is it your birthday?"
"Can't tell?"
"It's blurred. You've been around too long."
"You make me sound like I'm past my due-date."
"Is there any denying it?"
They laughed as they came to the edge of a silver pool, full of natural, bubbling mercury, pouring out of the planet's core. Humans couldn't visit it; the vapors were too toxic.
Jack had stopped thinking of himself as entirely human well over a thousand birthdays ago.
"It is," he said. "Five millennia." He knelt down and touched the surface. It dented in and then broke around his finger.
"You've done well with them," said the repeat-saviour-of-the-universe. "Most people would waste it."
"Thanks," Jack said softly, peering at his nebulous reflection in the pool. "I've tried."